A Festivus Rhyme For All Of You Killing Time

Twas the night before Festivus and all through Queens,
Not a Costanza was yelling... as strange as it seems.

The family was sleeping, just waiting for light.
Saving their strength for the upcoming fight.

At the crack of dawn on December twenty-three,
Frank put up the pole... instead of a tree.

Estelle prepared the meal that would start the rite,
Not a laugh or a smile was anywhere in sight.

George dreaded this hour that came every year,
The airing of grievances would soon be here.

Frank stood at the table and bellowed outloud,
"So who's got a complaint amongst this crowd?"

"You two are crazy and have wrecked my life!",
Cried George at his parents who mocked him for spite.
"A Lloyd Braun you'll never be " was Estelle's refrain,
"Why should I try,ma?... the guy's insane!"

"Enough with the grievances," Frank said with some glee,
"Now which one of you two is wrestling me?"
"So feats of strength you want? Let them begin here,
"It's your turn to fight him, mom... he beat me last year."

The battle was started, the screaming was lyrical,
The fact no one got hurt was... ANOTHER FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

Today's rhyme courtesy of the folks at Trivia AD and an unknown poet who used to go by the name of Neuman!

What the Hell is Wind Chill and Festivus

I have often asked myself that question. It usually occurs in my head (as most of my discussions do) when I’m outside freezing my nips off just trying to get a little bit of cold air down into my lungs to continue the process of life. The nice folks at Slate, specifically Daniel Engber, wrote a great article explaining the history of this wonderful, meteorological statistic that explains “how we should feel” in cold weather. Take some time to read on especially if you have no idea (like I did) how these weather men (and weather bunnies) come up with their numbers.

It’s December 23rd and that means it’s time for Festivus. One day in 1997 what was supposed to be a throwaway mention in a Seinfeld episode became an international sensation with its own real-life following. In fact, here in DC we have our own Festivus Board (see picture) where you can post your grievances. But what are the real origins of the holiday? It turns out that it really wasn’t “invented” on Seinfeld but rather a real event in the life of writer Dan O'Keefe. He grew up with his family celebrating the holiday which his father created to celebrate his first date with his soon to be wife (Dan’s Mom). I’m looking forward to adding his book The Real Festivus to my reading list.

With that I will leave you for a few days to air my grievances to my family.