Wendy’s, Woods, and (W)idiots

“Idiots” doesn’t have a W but I needed to add a silent one to keep everything moving right along. Time for quick weekend update. Most of the weekend was spent down at Bull Run camping. I won’t go into the full details because the wonderful folks over at Mighty Baby Boig Please read their recap with interest. have already done so. I want to focus on 2 weekend specific events and a discovery I made today.

I hate the drive thru (Sonic excluded). Not only do you have to talk to the box and hope that they understood you but it usually takes twice as long to get your order as opposed to walking in the front door and looking at a cashier face to face. This way you not only can take your sweet time (nobody honking behind you or giving you the “You’re the number 1 driver in my book” sign) deciding on what kind of caloric laced feast you will partake in that day but also make sure they get it completely correct before walking away and enjoying. This happens to be the lead off topic today because on Saturday we stopped off at Wendy’s on the way to the campsite. Here’s the scene:

(We pull up to the order board…)

Order Taker: would you like combo?

Me: No thanks. Let me have a single [burger] no tomatoes and no cheese

Order Taker: Combo?

Me: NO! No combo. Let me also get another single no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: You want combo?

Me: No! I don’t want a freakin combo…give me 2 singles both no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: Ok pull up…total is five forty-one.

(We pull to the first/cashier’s window…)

Cashier: Seven sixty-one please

Me: No the order taker said five forty-one

Cashier: No, you had 2 singles and a drink…seven sixty one

Me: Are you sure because both my wife and I heard five forty-one.

Cashier: You must have heard wrong…it’s seven sixty one.

Me: I heard wrong!? Let me speak to a manager

Cashier: I am Manager

(BTW: Every time I leave out “The” from this dialogue, it’s because that word was not used by the Wendy’s staff…wonderful mastery of the English language)

Me: Give me my food and a receipt.

End of the story (for now is that I filed a complaint with Wendy’s corporate and we’ll see where it goes from there. Although we are both sure they spit in the burgers!)

The woods were very nice and via a number of circumstances both me and Mr. Boig now have matching Wall Mart $5 sandals and I learned that Mook-a-Lok is good with water as long as she can stand in it AND that Coors Light and a bagel with cream cheese don’t go well together (at least first thing in the morning.)

Lastly on to my discovery of this morning. For some unknown reason I was searching the word “idiot” on the world wide interweb and hit upon our friends at Wikipedia. Did you know there are seven US states where an “idiot” cannot vote? Special props go to the legislators (either former or current) in the following states for helping with Natural Selection

• Arkansas
• Kentucky
• Mississippi
• New Mexico
• Ohio
• California
• Iowa

Now if we could just declare voters who go to the polls because their clergy tell them to and vote based on “moral values” could be added to the “idiot” pool we’d all be a lot better off.

Cubical Answers to Your Stupid Questions

Excuse Me, Do you know were Jim is? Do you know where my project is? Do you know how much for that dog in the window (the one with the waging tail)?

NO. No I don’t now get the $#%@#% out of here before I go postal and stick a stamp to the top of your head and try to seal you in a 10” envelope. Or I can go the Obama way and shoot you while praying to the big Guy upstairs (not you Big Tony) about my depressed job situation.

Too many of us cubical-based life forms have to deal with this kind of distraction day in and day out. Well now thanks to the Unknown Artist, we have an answer. Simply print out below the dotted line and post in a conspicuous location in and around your area. When the next dill-weed stops by and asks a stupid question, take your yard stick (we should all have one just in case an inter-office beat down arises) and point to your new sign. That should do the trick:
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GREETINGS: If you are here looking for something or someone, I am happy to assist you with this list of answers, to any one of virtually all your questions:

1. He or she is teleworking today, as the sign on their desk already told you.

2. He or she is on their "AWS off day," as their voice mail might have told you.

3. If it is early in the day, he or she probably isn't here yet. Leave a message.

4. If it is the middle of the day, he or she probably went to lunch. Leave a message.

5. If it is late in the day, he or she probably went home. (You knew that would happen eventually, right?)

6. If he or she has a job completed for you, and you are here to pick the job up, turn around, and look beneath the sign that says "Job Pickup." If it is not there, it is probably at their desk.

7. If he or she has a job completed for you, and you cannot find it at their desk, they did not give it to me. Leave a message.

8. If you need to see our Director, he is in his office, the one you deliberately walked past when you entered.

9. If you need to see our Director, and he is not in his office, please take a seat in his office, and I will see if he is here. If he is not here, you are not expected to take a seat in his office. Leave a message.

10. I am not in charge of this division. I am only in charge of myself. No one in this division is required to tell me their comings or goings.

Now, having exhausted the above possibilities, is there anything I can do to help you???

That Car is on Fire, Bush Can Read, and Kicking Back

Talk about a way to really start the week off (ok the week technically started yesterday but it was a Federal holiday so deal with it)! I hadn’t even parked my car this morning when I noticed the smoke in the garage next door.

At first I thought it was just a car idling, but then there was just too much “exhaust” for that. Then I thought it was the construction crew in the garage at work with a machine of some sort, but there was no accompanying noise. Finally I got out of the car and checked it out. Sure enough there were flames on the ground underneath this green Ford Taurus parked on ramp leading up to the 2nd level. As I got up there a woman who had parked nearby was already on the phone with 911 reporting the incident. I’ll keep the rest of the details short (I got a fire extinguisher from the construction crew but it did no good and eventually the fire department came and put out the flames but not before it engulfed the whole car and created a thick cloud of black smoke in the garage). What really bothers me is that while we were trying to asses the size of the fire and then get the professionals there to put it out, people kept driving right by it without a single thought to stop and try to help. Then when I and another good samaritan started to redirect traffic while we were waiting for the firefighters, drivers actually tried to drive around us past the fire. Just how stupid/callus/uncaring are you to see these flames and smoke and think that either a) you don’t need to find another place to park or b) you shouldn’t stop and see if you can help? These people all get the middle finger and I only help that you are never in need of assistance because I can’t guarantee that somebody will be there when you need it.

Speaking of idiots who are in need of assistance, our beloved President did a photo op with local DC area kids at the MLK library downtown yesterday in honor of Martin Luther King’s birthday. While there he read a book to the little children. My question is did he read to them or they to him? Furthermore perhaps the press office should not be putting the President in any setting where he has to read. Do we remember what he was doing the morning of 9/11? Also I want to know why we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday instead of the date of his assassination. I don’t want to “celebrate” the assignation…but why is that not the date in which we honor his memory and rededicate ourselves to his ideals? I guess it’s not all that important since we are honoring him and helping to move forward his ideals but it’s just interesting. The same thing goes for Lincoln.

On a recent airline trip, the flight crew requested (after take off) that we “kick back, relax and enjoy the flight.” This was a very nice greeting and probably meant to put us at easy for a late flight but it made me think (what doesn’t these days), that it is overly hard to “kick back” in a coach seat. There is just enough leg room to squeeze into the seat as it stands now much less “kick back”. Further expanding this, have you ever been sitting in coach and the jerk in front of you decides that he has the right to recline his seat as far back as possible regardless of your discomfort. Yes, the seats recline when you push that button; we all know that. But we also know that you shouldn’t recline all the way back if someone is sitting behind you because it’s not polite. Well this flight I was on was completely full…so using the above argument, even if I wanted to kick back and relax, I couldn’t.

The I-man Is Back...

...well not quite yet. We do have to wait until Monday morning at 6am but for all intensive purposes Don Imus' 8-month hibernation from radio is over on Monday.

I shouldn't have to recap what happened to him back in April when he made some choice comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team. Bottom line, his words were in bad taste and could be offensive, BUT they were not against any law but yet he was punished like he shot someone dead on live TV.

The point is he is back and I'm psyched. He'll be broadcasting on WABC radio 770am in New York and syndicated by a few stations across the country on Citadel's Broadcasting Network. It will also be simulcasted on RFD network (currently available on Dish and DirectTV).

Most of the guests are coming back too with the exception of the spineless pantywaists at Newsweek, who are cowering behind the Management's decision to ban them from appearing on the show.

Now it's time again to discuss Fat Al Sharpton. I can only hope after the niceties are taken care of tomorrow morning (welcome back, good to be here, et al) that the I-man takes his verbal sword and sticks in threw this jackass's eye. No fate that Sharpton can suffer short of death is going to make me happier. He is the lowest of the low and the Black community in America deserves all the criticism they get when they let him "speak for them." He has no actual credibility but yet the news media runs to him and drools over every word he has to say. I can't even begin to understand why.

On a related note...I was reading articles about the I-man's return yesterday and came across this nugget from the Topeka, KS Capitol Journal.

Scroggins to protest return of Don Imus

The Capital-Journal

Published Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Human rights activist Sonny Scroggins will be at the Capitol at noon Monday as Civil War soldier James Whitfield Ross of the First Kansas Colored.

The appearance will coincide with the return of Don Imus to the airwaves on WABC radio in New York

. Imus was fired from his talk show because of negative remarks he made about the Rutgers women's basketball team.

Scroggins is continuing the protest against "misogynist lyrics" in gangsta rap. The public is invited to attend and participate in the protest.

For more information on the protest at the Capitol, call Scroggins at (785) 232-3761 or (785) 845-6148.

As I pointed out in my letter to the editors can someone over there please tell me what a man dressed as a civil war soldier has to do with either a radio talk show host or "misogynist lyrics in gangsta rap? What do those 3 things have to do with one another (besides the fact that Lincoln's favorite music was gansta rap...he loved to shake "dat tang")? Is he protesting because Imus and the rappers both referred to nappy headed hos as "nappy headed hos"? Or is it because he's just a dope. I'm in for the latter. If you are in Kansas and reading this...call this idiot and really bitch him out. He deserves it for being yet another person in an ever continuing line of people who abuse their first amendment rights by protesting the things that nobody cares about. How is this news?!?!?!

Things That Make You Go "hummmm"

That is besides the career of the great C&C Music Factory.

The first is a comment I received the other day from "Anonymous" on my thoughts involving Chinese food freshness. This reader thought so much of the entry that they had to respond and share their thoughts.

"fvck u"

I always welcome your comment as readers and I never erase any comments and will continue that stance here. This idiot's comment will stand for the whole world to read. Yes, not only is he a dope, but he can't spell either (I know I have several spelling errors on the site but at least I try to go back and correct them and I've never spelled an F-bomb incorrectly!) So kudos to you my friend and I hope all your Chinese leftovers go bad!

The second item on my agenda today is sleeping in on weekends and holidays and how things change as we get older and more responsibilities pile up. Have you ever noticed that when we were younger (especially in and around the collegiate years) you could sleep in on a weekend until 10am, 11am, or even 12 noon with not a care in the world? Now as you age you're getting up earlier and earlier with errands to run, places to be, etc? This morning, while not a day off (I worked from home), I got to sleep in well past my usual alarm time of 530am but even so I was up every 10 minutes worrying that I was going to over sleep. What's that about? I would love to have a morning where I just sleep in and in and in. Maybe I'll get up at 12noon or even 1pm on a Sunday, just in time for the football games. Oh what the hell, maybe I'll just sleep the entire day away and have breakfast for dinner. Yep, that's the ticket.