She's Out of My Life Forever (at least the single one)

Well my (original) mistress finally left me. Yesterday, Debbie and Eric took the plunge and got hitched in a ceremony that took place in just short of hurricane-strength winds. Don't worry though, my hair stayed perfect the entire night.

The wedding, at the historic Hay Adams hotel was one of the nicest I've been to in a long while. The ceremony was up on the roof (and the wind) but the payoff was not just a glowing and beautiful bride (sniff, sniff) but also an amazing view of The White House and surrounding national grounds, all during the opening weekend of the National Cherry Tree Festival.

Pink was not only the color of the trees but also the color of Bloggerman's drinks as he/I/that dude partook in hid favorite gin and tonics but with a splash of grenadine for some authentic cherry blossom color. Good thing it wasn't St Patty's day or I'd have to switch out the cherry for apple pucker...ehhhh.

I've been to quite a few weddings over the years (including my own, according to some unconfirmed reports) and very few have included a best man speech that involved both the words "90 years plus 30 years equals 100 years of marriage" and a heckler who was heard to shout "Are you done yet?!". Must have been the Slivovitz talking!

All-in-all a great night and we here at Nobody Likes a Jerk wish the new couple 90 years of wedded bliss (plus another 30 after that to make it an even 100!)

Misstress/Draft Ho

In my excitement to get back to your regularly scheduled posts yesterday, I inadvertently forgot to thank my mistress (Stef) for being my fantasy draft ho Sunday night and keeping me apprised of all the going ons and picks that had come off the board before we could plug in to the world wide interweb to make our picks. So thank you so very much Stef, you know have your own post!

Run. Doughnut. Run

As Debbie (my former Mistress) put it yesterday “Now this is a race that I can get behind.” I completely agree. The following is the actual text from the USA Today article. I do not have authorization to republish this but am doing so with full citation:

N.C. racers run 2 miles, eat 12 donuts, run back
RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — It's a challenge, all right.
In a charity race Saturday, more than 5,000 runners ran two miles to a downtown Raleigh Krispy Kreme shop, ate a dozen glazed doughnuts each and returned to North Carolina State University in less than an hour.

That's 2,400 calories and 144 grams of fat consumed while burning about 400 calories during the run.

The student-run Krispy Kreme Challenge raised about $35,000 for the North Carolina Children's Hospital.

The event began on a dare among college friends in 2004. Then-freshman Ben Gaddy won the first race by beating nine guys in about a half-hour.

His reward? A terrible stomach ache.
Copyright 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
This has got to be my next “Must Do” Race and I strongly encourage all of you to consider following my lead. I might even contact these folks and see if we can set up something like this here.

Drool......ummmmmm doooooooonuts.......Drool

Fiber One. Why?

First, I have been offline for a few days thanks to a 24 hour bug that has been cutting its way through my circles and ended up dropping its full payload on yours truly. Thankfully I'm back so no worries. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Oh you are a cruel, cruel mistress!* Why do you tempt me with you chocolatey fibery goodness when you know I can't partake in you gooeyness?

That might be a slight exageration, I can partake in my favorite morning snack but I don't enjoy the reprecussions of an ingredient used in the batter. It turns out that the chickorey used in making fiber one bars can be a leading contributor to exteme stomach pain and even unearthly flatulance (think of a whoopy cusion factory being hit with a wrecking ball full of burning-hot, rotting skunk carcuses).

But they are so good, plus we still have half a case left. Does anybody out there want them (overnight and priority shipping options are available)? I can't eat them but I can't part with them either...what a cunundrum!


Can you believe that this is the biggest problem I can think of today? Its kind of sad ain't it?

*dont worry ladies they are not my real mistress, that roll is spoken for. Thanks Stef!

Muni Meters, The Airing of the Shoes, and Gang Green

The words of the weekend were fun, fun, and traffic. First a hardy congrats to Josh and Rebecca on their weekend nuptials and to Uncle Leo for turning 98 years young today. Celebrating those two events were key tenets to the Bloggerman family’s weekend of fun in the Big Apple. Now settle in for the (fairly lengthy recap)

Friday: The Drive Up
We left in the mid afternoon and really cruised through most of the drive until coming to the George Washington Bridge. I find it hard sometimes to detect how much traffic a roadway has when there is a toll plaza involved. Sometimes there’s traffic just into the tolls before it breaks away afterwards. This was not one of those cases as the traffic on the bridge and the Cross Bronx Expressway was heavy the whole way...still we made it to the beautiful Andrew Hotel with time to spare before the rehearsal dinner. The dinner was at the very nice Pearl East restaurant where the drinks not only freely flowed but the food was very artfully prepared including the pictures here of my sake glass and the edible goldfish (sea bass dumpling-steamed). A good time was had by all and we headed back to the hotel to get some rest for what promised to be a great (if not long) day coming up.


Saturday: Run, Drive, Eat, Drive, Eat, Drive, Sleep
Saturday found your hero (that’s me) getting up for his Saturday Run. Actually I got up about 30 minutes before my alarm was set to go off as the clock in the room was not yet reset to show the end of Daylight Savings Time. So instead of getting up when my phone was set to go off at 630am, I awoke at 6am, looked at the room clock next to me and thought I overslept by 30 minutes. Lovely. The weather outside was the kind of stuff that made you wish you had a personal windshield wiper built into your hat (misty) but I set off for a tour of Great Neck and the surrounding neighborhoods on foot. When I got back to the room, Mrs. Bloggerman and I set out to get her nails done (I found my way on another walk...can’t stand the smell of nail polish!) and then we headed out to have a look around a NY landmark, Fortunoff’s to look around. Upon seeing the copious amounts of X-mass decorations featuring the NY Mets and the NY Jets...I almost want to convert...but then again...I’d miss saying things like “Hag Samach....now go away!" We departed for the drive into NYC to meet up with the “Ageless Wonder” Uncle Leo and my Cousin Anne. We had lunch to celebrate Leo’s 98th birthday. I can’t believe how good he looks and gets around. I think we’d all consider ourselves lucky to even see that age much less be in the kind of great physical shape he’s in. The dining spot was the Fairway Cafe, and I also want to thank Mitchell London (the owner of the joint) for coming over and saying hello. He knows Leo and Anne well as Leo is a regular in the Upper West Side eatery. Mitchell was kind enough to warm us up with a pot of his REALLY good, fresh hot chocolate that was so rich; we didn’t even need the food!

In the middle of this wonderful meal, I had to go out and feed the Muni-Meter. For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure of using one of these contraptions, I’ll summarize. Essentially, there is one “meter” that covers a number of street parking spaces. You park, feed your money into this meter and get a printed receipt with time you must move your car/feed more money. You put this receipt on your dashboard and walk away. A few things here: 1) most regular parking meters in NYC run 10 min for 25 cents, these muni-meters run 50 cents for the same time. What’s the deal!?!? Why can’t you get the same rate as traditional meters? 2) it was pouring out. When I put the first receipt (50 minutes) on my dash, I wasn’t worried about getting ticketed for going over time because you couldn’t even read it thru the rain-slicked glass. Was I ever surprised when I came out to find that one of NYC’s parking officers (meter maids) had actually wiped my windshield off to see the time left on the receipt, WOW...that’s dedication.

Mrs. Bloggerman and I said goodbye to Leo and Anne and headed back towards the Island with a quick stop in Queens to Marshalls to scope out some great deals on Mets and Jets merchandise. She found some running clothes (love the bright green skort) and I picked up a nice heavy Mets sweatshirt and some new lounge pants. Back to the hotel to get showered and dressed for the mainstay event of the weekend, the wedding.

Held at a local synagogue, it was beautiful and very classy. The shul itself was very interesting and looked very gothic inside with a large wooden A-frame shape inside with high vaulted ceilings and exposed beams. By contrast the social hall downstairs was very modern and accommodating. Both proved to be appropriate backdrops for their different functions and helped make the ceremony feel solemn and the reception...well like a party! The bride and groom were beautiful, the band was great (except for butchering “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams) and the food was devoured....extra credit points for supplying chicken wings at the bar while we were waiting on drinks and Doc Brown’s soda with the corned beef during the cocktail hour!

Sunday: Gang Green Puts the Screws to The Rams
Note: The Andrew Hotel was great except for the guests that complained about my shoes hanging out the window. First they were there to air out so I could wear them yesterday (same ones I had run in the day prior) and second they were securely tied and latched and were in no danger of going anywhere and thirdly, mind your own damn business!

Sorry Debbie. Stefanie has now been elevated to official “Mistress” status. Both with your pending nuptials and her delivering kick ass seats for yesterday’s Jets game your role with the organization is being reconsidered. Stef, Mrs. Bloggerman and I all headed down to the swap in Jersey to watch Gang Green play the Rams yesterday. Stef (and her friend Cortez...who also gets big ups...and needs them!!!) secured us seats 14 rows off the field in the end zone. As you can see Bloggerman had a great time even though it was freezing (with those famous Meadowlands swirling winds). Adding to the enjoyment was the Jets thrashing St. Louis 47-3. It was 40-0 at half time and about the only disappointing things we encountered was missing out on the free “Cheesecake Heads” given out by ESPN 1050am radio (I did grab a beverage coozie) and finding that the Carvel stand had already closed by the time we visited at the end of the 3rd Quarter. No helmet sundae for me! (There will be a few more things from this game in tomorrow’s entry). A little more tax-free clothing shopping in Jersey and we hit the road for home. By the way...gas in Newark, DE was $2.01 for regular. I filled up the Toaster for less then $25!