Good Karma Boomerang

Today's rant was supposed to be all about our new microwave but in light of today's events I think a change is in order.

Karma is a cool thing when it works in your favor. I will never be confused with a saint,so when I do some good I may need to bank it for later. Lord knows I'll call on those reserves more than I'd like to.

Today was not a withdrawal or a deposit though. Today we more of a dividend or interest payment.
This morning I got off the train near my office and stopped by the grocery store (Harris Teeter, the official work grocery store of Nobody Likes A Jerk). As I went to check out I realized my club card (and my government ID card it was attached to) were missing. So here I am having to pay an extra 20 cents on my yogurt and having to set talk my way into my office, all before my first cup of coffee!

On my way in I texted Mrs. Bloggerman and she said she didn't see it laying around the house. Crap. Hopefully its in my car. If it's on the train I'll never see it again.

On I went with my day and then at about 11am I got an email from somebody at another government agency in town saying that he found my badge on his train seat and he wanted to get it back to me. Are you kidding me?  How lucky is that? It reminds me of finding Jordan's cell phone (last year about this time)...another story about a fellow human (me) going out of my way to do the right thing.

This guy, Brian (pictured...next to me of course!), and I met this afternoon during lunch near his office. He handed back the ID, thumb drive, and Harris Teeter savings card and I handed him a bright orange water bottle I had laying around the office. Sounds like a fair trade to me.

Bringing Back The Good Old Days

How is it that we no longer settle our political disputes with a duel? It has to be the finest way ever invented to get the last word in. And where else but the United States Congress could this be the best way to show your constituents how valuable you are to them?

On February 24th, 1838, Rep William Graves (KY) shot Rep Jonathan Cilley (ME) in the leg over a claim by Cilley that Graves' patron (a NY newspaper baron) was bribing Congressmen. Cilley was shot in the leg and bled out quickly. Shortly after a federal law was passed prohibiting dueling (in DC anyway).

What a shame. Sure a guy was dead but nobody else is going to challenge Graves (and his boys) of anything. Imagine how quickly the health care debate could have been solved. Or even how we may never has had to be subjugated to these awful GOP debates. Surely Santorum, Romney, Gingrich, and definitely Paul would have been called out to the fields and left bleeding many years ago. Surprisingly that would have left us with a race between Pawlenty and Huntsman.

But can we go up to the attic and dust off the white gloves and Colt revolver and head outside to get some fresh air? Every state in the union eventually followed suit (the South took a while longer than everyone else). The Federal law specifically refers to DC, but seeing as how Congress isn't shy about dabbling in the District's affairs, maybe we could work out an exemption? Maybe even stretch the line into neighboring Maryland or Virginia? Hummm...

Well as a Bay State resident, I can tell you that we are out of the running. The gun laws here are tight. The only loophole is if the contestants headed to Prince Georges County, where two people shooting at each other wouldn't raise a whole lot of eyebrows. Coincidentally, the 1838 duel took place there (Bladensburg dueling grounds). But our backwater redneck neighbors to the south might really go for it. Virginia has always been a bit more open minded when it comes to gun ownership (close minded in every other kind of right). In fact they just rescinded a law allowing only one handgun a month. Besides nobody can defend their home with just one 9mm, 15 shot, semi automatic Glock9. You need a gun in every room, just in case somebody breaks into your house when your on the can. If you don't have a Saturday night special in the medicine cabinet you could get jacked.

So back to the duel. You remember this post is about the duel (or Alice's Restaurant). Why don't we kick all the illegal immigrants out of Shirlington and the Walter Tejada Memorial Day Laborer Pavilion. Flatten the area and you've got a great dueling grounds. Plus the Wieene Beenie is right there so you can grab a chili halfsmoke before main event. There's even a supermarket if you wanted some picnic foods. Lay out a blanket and take in all the gory action!

Sounds like a party to me!

Keep Your Damn Fraud Off Of Me

I’m getting really fed up with all this news. Each morning in the shower I drop the radio in hopes that a wire will make contact with the water and end it all (kidding) only to have the damn thing turn on and tell me about the latest group to screw the government out of money. This week it appears to be companies who received contracts that were reserved for disabled veterans. The Small Business Administration continued handing out the contracts even after learning that these companies were not run by veterans (disabled or otherwise) at all. The whole story is here:

But what really fries by biscuits is that it appears that nothing can be done to recoup the money. Really? Nothing at all? How about starting by tracking down the companies who received the contracts and seizing all their assets and then throwing the owners (who knew that they were not wounded veterans) into jail for 5-10 years?

See that’s only half the problem. Going after the companies who fraudulently won these contracts will only get the money back but it doesn’t solve the problem of lazy government workers. Trust me I see these people every day and I know from what I speak. There is a saying that “you can’t get fired from the Federal Government.” Why not? As soon as you figure out who the contracting officer was who approved the jobs. They should be immediately fired and escorted out of the building. Furthermore they should be ruled ineligible for any future Federal employment or from working for companies who may compete for Government contracts.

This seems drastic and it is, but everyday I go to work as an honest government contractor. And every time I need to make a purchase using government money I ALWAYS look for the least expensive way to get the job done. If we weeded out all the lazy, corrupt employees (and contractors) perhaps this healthcare bill might cost less or we could run a military without having to pay $25,000 for a toilet seat.

Just my 2 cents. Bloggerman....out.