It Twas a Dog Day Afternoon

Dear Bloggerman,

I want to thank you for having my friends Ella and Dylan over today to play with me. Oh it was great to see their “humans” too. We had so much fun running around in the back yard and playing with the new tennis balls Mom got for us. I want you to know that I was very gentle with the puppies and even let Dylan nibble on my ears for a little while as you can see in the attached picture. I got very tired when they left though and was sleeping on your bed for a long time before I got up to write this note. I hope we can arrange another one really soon because I had so much fun!

All my love,
The Pup-a-Lup

Tanned, Rested, But Not Yet Ready

To head back to work that is. Your hero (Me) is back from the whirlwind tour across the western Caribbean on a well needed vacation. What follows (is a rather long) summery of our trip.

Sunday: Come Sail Away
An Early morning good bye to the pub-a-lup and a drive to the airport was fairly uneventful. Parking was easy as the Turkey Day crush hadn’t hit yet. Checking in was another story however. Our airline (rhymes with Air Scam) has begun to charge for your second checked bag, so we decided to cram everything into one bag each. Not a bad idea but what we didn’t figure on was getting hit with an overage charge for 1 of the bags weighing over 50 pounds. That took a $40 chunk out of my wallet. It wasn’t until later that we realized (Mrs. Bloggerman realized I mean) that if we had brought another bag and took out the over weight portion of our stuff we would have only gotten a $20 hit on the second checked bag. Note to the Airlines: I hope you choke on these bag fees...you are all criminals and extortionists. If you knew how to run a business you would buy your supplies (fuel) in bulk and would have been able to lock in low prices the first time around. Also if gas/oil prices are so low...how can you still justify charging these rates??? Go Fly Southwest!

A nice, easy cab ride to the cruise port in Tampa and an easy time meeting up with the ‘Rents and getting on board helped soothe my feelings over the bags. We had a beautiful (but windy) sail away from Tampa and got to see the sparse 6 feet of clearance between the top of the ship and the bottom of the skyway bridge, Yikes! Our first dinner on board was also really good with the exception of our idiot Matre’ D and his “Hello” shtick...nobody cares...stop it! Now!

Monday: Under (or rather on top of) the Sea
Our first full day started at sunrise with Mrs. Blogerman’s birthday and a 4-mile run on the deck (that’s 16 laps around the ship for those of you keeping score at home) and a stretch class on deck. Not a bad way to see the sunrise if you have the opportunity. Then on to breakfast where I found my new favorite jelly, guava!! A fun day was enjoyed by kicking back in a beach chair by the pool and taking in the sun while my lovely wife enjoyed her day at the spa. We topped off the evening at the ship’s Supper Club with so much damn food that we could barely even finish half of our main course much less desert.

Tuesday: Grand Cay-mon-man
There really aren’t many people as crazy as the Blogger family. Who else would get into their first Caribbean port first thing in the morning and catch the first tender off the ship just to get a run in? Um...us. We took a quick jaunt down the famous 7-mile beach but could only get in about 4-miles before the morning rains came (the only rain we saw all week btw!). Never a worry as we caught a bus back to the docks and went back to the ship to grab breakfast and a shower. We then met back up with the ‘Rents to tour around Georgetown and Hell (yes that’s what it’s really called!) The day finished up with dinner and some gambling. Yeah gambling!!

Wednesday: Discover Mexico – 1KM
Cozumel can be a very depressing or a very fun place depending on who you talk to. However if you give that person a lot of liquor and watch your mother do her first tequila shot in at least 40 years I think you’re going to end up on the fun side of the equation. When we got into port we did a little shopping (ok window browsing) and then headed over to Playa Mia for our cooking class with Louis and Moises. They were great and thankfully there were no sharp knives around their kitchen so we didn’t make the dangerous mistake of combining a deboning a fish while under the influence of lots of alcohol!! We all had a great time cooking tilapia, chicken, saprasillas, and even some rice pudding stacks for dessert.

Thursday: Belize Me? Belize You!
What do you get when you combine dangerous crocodiles, a deflating pontoon boat, a missing hat, and the open ocean? You get one hell of a trip up and back the Belize River. Then again you really should expect the unexpected when you go to a Central American country where the beer is cheaper to buy then the water. Mrs. Bloggerman and I piloted our own boat (along with a few others in our convoy) up the Belize River with our three guides leading the way in their boat. We went through the Mangroves, up the river past crocs and iguanas, and then turned around only to find out that we had sprung a link in one of our inflatable pontoons. One of our guides, Jakeem, jumped on board and started pumping away at the portable pump. His stay on board lasted the entire way back as that damn leak just wouldn’t go away! All was good however until Mrs. Bloggerman’s favorite Mr. Met hat went skyward and then underwater as we hit a particularly hard bend in the water. Ugh...it couldn’t get any worse could it (although we were still having a good time!) yep...it could....after following the convoy back down the river toward the port we take a sharp turn into what looks a lot like the ocean. Yep...it was the ocean. There are the cruise ships and all we are thinking is make sure to stay in the wake of the boat in front of you so we don’t flip in the water with a skinning ship and a life jacket that had questionable floatability left in it. We got back in one piece and after a few stiff drinks realized it was a hell-ova day!

Friday: Ro-w, Ro-w, Roatan
Not nearly as funny but this wasn’t a funny stop. Only a very relaxing beach break on a private island with only 20 of the approx 2500 people on board the ship. We had the chance to check out the animal rescue operation they have going on (with lots of monkeys, parrots, and something that looked like a leopard cub), the pool, and the best part the white sandy shore with not a ship in site. We got some great snorkeling in with our guide, Umberto, and even got stung by a school of jelly fish that we didn’t even see until after the fact. Finish up the afternoon with some Fundito (queso cheese and refried red beans served fondue-style) and some cold beers.

Saturday: On the Sea Again
We set out to sea on our return to the states so I decided it was a perfect time to test our wind speed and run 10 miles (40 laps around the ship) to get some exercise. After breakfast it was straight out to the pool lounge chair to get some sun and finish the process of “chilaxing”. That was the long and short of the day. Not exciting but it sure was calming for the nerves.

Sunday: The Great Return
The day represented both highs and lows. We had the highs of a great morning but the lows of getting off the ship and realization that our vacation was coming to an end plus the fact that my Jets couldn’t get the job done in the rain against the Broncos later on in the day. I think I lost about 10% more hair then when I started after the game. We spent the day over at my parent’s house and then got ready to head back home on Monday.


Monday: The Final Act
If you’ve read this far....you’re crazy and possibly part of the chronically unemployed sub set of home shopping network purchasers and infomercial watching addicts. But I feel that I owe you a final chapter. We got to the airport (with 3 bags this time) at 3pm for a 6pm flight that didn’t take off until 730pm. When we got up in the air we hit a top speed of 719 mph (aided by a 150mph tail wind) and got into Baltimore at our originally scheduled arrival time of 9pm. That’s fast. Once we got the car, we headed home to the Mooks who was way too happy to see us!

In closing a great time was had by all and I want to extend a special thanks to the crew over at MightyBabyBoig for taking care of the pup-a-lup and to Mom and Dad Bloggerman for a great week of family vacation.

Ok now if you have not jabbed your eyes out with a fork here's a photo album of the week:

Thanksgiving Cruise 2008

Until next post (tomorrow)...Bloggerman Out!

Mookie Gets Wet

Ewwww...not that way! You're sick. Do you actually think I would allow my dog to lick herself until she was dripping wet??? Sick, sick, sick. Nope...The Pup a Lup took the "plunge" at Quiet Waters Dog Beach in Annapolis. Make sure to play the movie at the end of this post!

You Give Us 22 Minutes and We’ll Give You a Trip to NYC (DAY 2)

The Race

We headed into Manhattan in the early morning to meet up with Elliot and run a 5 mile race in Central Park. Parking was fairly easy to come by (see next section) and we walked a few blocks over to the race area. Not only was I surprised to see that this was not a small race (over 5,000 participants) but once the starting gun went off it was the quietest race I'd ever taken part in. It was so quiet that not only could you hear yourself think but you could also hear what the guy next to you was thinking! Lucky for everybody out there, Mr. Entertainment (me) was there to talk the whole way through. In the post race interview with some girl who stuck a camera in my face I even managed to get in some of POTUS' talking points. When asked why I ran the race, Bloggerman said, "If we don't run, the terrorists win!"

Ticket
What the #*+@! Why is there a parking ticket on the windshield when we got back to the car? We specifically moved it from one side of the street to the other and pulled up to make sure we were not in the "No Standing" zone. Oh we can’t park here because numb nuts over at city hall decided the only other sign needed along the whole block would be 500 ft down the other side.
Nice... Thanks for fleecing the drivers so that the empty suit wearing panty-waits at ABC can park in front of their building. We wouldn't want them to have to walk like the rest of us. They might forget all those great reality shows they were thinking of on the commute in!

The Game
Well we finally made it to Shea and had sunny skies and 2 baseball games to take in (they were playing a true double header to make up for the rain out). Thanks to Josh for hooking us up on the seats. We could see everything. Unfortunately that also meant that we could spend 3.5 hours in the sun and see the Mets drop the first of two.

We hit the car after the end of the game because we knew that if we stayed for the second game we wouldn't get home until after midnight.

Friendly’s
For dinner we pulled off just north of Baltimore and thanks to Mrs. Bloggerman's expert navigation (and Google Maps) we found yet another reason to get off at Joppastowne (in addition to the cheap gas). Unfortunately our diets had already been blown for the day so we opted away
from the ice cream and Fribbles for two salads... although after the next marathon, we're going back for sliders, motz sticks, and bacon-cheese waffle fries all on one plate. Yummo!

The Pup-a-Lup
A special thanks to the Boig collective who were gracious enough to watch Mooks while we wenst away. They rock and when we got home she was sprawled out on the bed enjoying her freedom! Well not for long as we had a (near) midnight stroll around the neighborhood and managed to come back with "more" in our bag then when we left.

Get That Man a Collar, Cruiser Envy, and WTF???

Get Bloggerman a tick collar, stat (what does “stat” stand for btw??)! Get me one now! So after a nice, but hot, run from G-burg to Olney on Sunday morning, I felt something on my leg and looked down to see a nice tick trying to get a free meal. You know how I feel about giving anything away for free…I’m certainly not in the “for it” camp. Strangely though I’m in that camp for the “getting something for free”…..hummm. But I digress. So I scratch that little blood sucker off and continue to wait in line (bagel store). Ten minutes later, we’re in the car headed home (yes it was a run out and drive back kind of day) and I felt the bugger again on my leg and again I knocked it off. Not a minute later I felt him/her/it again and this time took a napkin and pulled it off. I’m not showing any signs of lyme disease yet.

I don’t know if any of you have ever been bitten by a tick or have pets that have had that pleasure but here are some instructions on how NOT to remove them:

Crushing or irritating the tick (by heat or chemicals) should be avoided,
because these methods may cause it to regurgitate its stomach contents into
the skin, increasing the possibility of infection of the host.

A point here to one loyal reader of this space who suggested we BURN them off of our dog when she first got one. Yeah not a good idea to light a match around something with all that hair... forget the regurgitation part! We still love you even though you want us to burn our pup-a-lup to ashes ;-)

On to topic # 2. Do cops get jealous of other cops over the squad cars/police cruisers they are assigned to drive? Mrs. Blogger and I had this debate (of course I started it) in the car the other day and I want to bring it to a larger audience.

Does Cop #1 who gets assigned a crappy beat up old cruiser get jealous when Cop # 2 gets to drive a brand new Charger? I mean if they are both on the force for the same amount of time, I can see one getting really upset! Not sure and wanting answers I took it to the streets and stopped two members of the hard working Montgomery County PD who were “working hard” directing traffic by one of the mega churches in my area. They didn’t seem to think it was a big deal that one of them had a new Charger and the other a Crown Vic. Well I think it is and I want to see them fight it out with Tasers! Just don’t taser me bro!

Lastly today, weird looking dude doing some weird stuff in Cincinnati. The douchewaffle pictured here is Dwight Parnell. He was arrested for spraying water from a syringe onto a woman’s shoe at the University of Cincinnati library. I don’t even know where to begin on this one. On one hand does he get off on this stuff? If so I can’t fault him because we all are freaks in our own right (My dog is looking might good some nights….kidding….or is I??). Is he mentally ill? To do something like this you kind of want to lean that way; in which case you can’t be mad at him. All you can do is shake your head and make sure he gets “help.” But the one thing you CAN say about him is that he should be locked up based solely on this mug shot. If you saw this guy walking down the street, you’d better have the sense to up and run the other way….talk about the bug eyes!

That is all….now go home!

She's a Scrapper, ORiley Likes The Brothers, and How do I get on the Field and Beat Willie Randolph Sensless

See this is what happens when I go away for a few days (well I didn't go anywhere, just didn't post). All h-e-double hockey sticks breaks loose and now I have to catch you up and complain about it.

1) My dog is a scrapper. She's like Rocky Balboa, she gets hit on the nose a lot, busts an eye and then decides to start fighting. So we're jogging the other night and we run into another dog about her size and her owner. I ask the owner if they can meet and we both agree on it. The two dogs are getting along great just sitting next to each other staring at traffic for almost 2 minutes straight. Then they start to "circle" and the next thing you know I need a ring girl to tell me what round it is! The judges ruled it a "split decision" although the only apparent split was the cut on my Pup-a-lup's eye. Took her to the fight doctor today (vet) who ruled her eligible for the rematch which was good to hear.

2) Bill O'Riely evidently likes soul food but is surprised that blacks can run a restaurant in Harlem. Read it here. Of course he decides to share this with his audience, which includes my favorite quote:

I couldn’t get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia’s restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it’s run by blacks, primarily black patronship.

Perhaps he was waiting for the rap music to come on and everybody in the dining room to break into an impromptu Humpty Dance making the place look like a scene from the Black Drew Carey Show.

But perhaps the biggest pisser for me is that he is trying to apologize for his comments. Why? He's a racist and a bigot but so is Rush Limbaugh and he's never apologized because he (like O'Riley and even Imus) never said anything that was illegal. If you don't like their opinions, don't listen to their shows. But no, he had to try apologizing. Now we have to see Fat Al Sharpton and his Insta-Perm on TV (you need a wide screen to fit his head) for the next week and a half decrying how blacks are mistreated my the racist media and how they never get a fair shake.

Maybe if fat Al (not to be confused with Fat Al Gore) would shut HIS trap and not make everything said by obvious jerkoffs like O'Riley into the return to slavery, the black community could voice their own opinion and we could all really learn how they feel and not how their "self proclaimed" representatives feel about the matter.

Ugh!

Oh yeah 3) Willie Randolph, at what point are you planing on getting your team fired up? Does your shoulder still hurt? Is that why you haven't gone out to argue a close call or a ball/strike call...calling the umpire Crash Davis' favorite term for the men in blue and getting tossed, while in the process firing up your ball club? Or are you waiting for them to finish the collapse they started last month and not get into the playoffs. That way you can rehab your shoulder on the golf course. Shhh...don't tell Fat Al....he might protest me saying that I'm a racist because the idiot manager of my favorite ball club is a chump (I said "chump"...stop it!)

By the way I'm taking back the "term" P-Monks-4-Life!!! (just saw Clerks 2)