Monday, April 29, 2013
With the first pick in the 2013 NFL draft
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
I Need To Post Something
I've been doing everything possible to get that first one checked off as it's kind of the reason I'm in this position in the first place. I might have to take a few months and move up to Williston, North Dakota where even WalMart employees are making big bucks. $17 an hour if you care to know. Of course you're living in an oil boom town in the northern most part of the shitiest state in the union. (Mississippi you're now number 2!) but why dwell on the upside now. I've also tried to grow that beard out several times but keep getting called in to these pesky job interviews where evidently large, random patches of facial hair are frowned upon. Add to that Mrs. Bloggerman always seems to think that I look stupid and I'm constantly shaving.
So that only leaves posting material here. Of course that has slacked off too and the only reason I can come up with is that I don't have a job to complain about nor a beard to give others something to complain about. Thankfully for you my dear readers (all 3 of you) today, something wonderful dropped in my lap today. Lucky You.
The first is that my favorite high school football team, the New York Jets managed to blow another game. Monday Night Football early in the season or if your team is in contention late in the season is an exciting, must see moment. However when your team couldn't beat a team composed of 65 year old lepers it's not quite as exciting. But I'm a trooper and stuck it out for as long as I could. I made it into the third quarter until I couldn't take it any more and just closed my eyes. Fortunately it appears that Mark Sanchez did the same thing. Ok the season is over and I still "have to" root for two more games.
Fortunately for me, my other team "The California Bulls" (yes...those Bulls) are in the Superbowl. Well not the actual Superbowl but rather the fantasy Superbowl created by idiots who can barely run their own lives. I'll update you next Tuesday if I'm the raining champion of absolutely nothing.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Shucking for God
Martin successfully defended his title of Top US Oyster Shucker for the 3rd year in a row on Sunday in St. Mary's County, MD. What you didn't know there was a top oyster shucker award? Don't worry you're not alone.
Martin beat out a full field including the first ever woman to appear in the finals for the title. But this is the catch, in his acceptance speech, he actually said, "I just had God behind me, I guess, the last three years...".
WOW...G-d was behind you in this venture? So the Ruler of all Creation, Lord of Everything He Sees, Creator of the World took time out of his busy Sunday schedule of helping wide receivers, quaterbacks, and sometimes even a kicker win football games (because of course their skill, ability, and all the time and dedication of their support staff had nothing do to with it what-so-ever), to help you win an oyster shucking contest in Maryland.
Which of course leads me to the point of why was the "National Title" decided in Maryland. When you think of oysters, cities like New Orleans, New York, and even Boston come to mind. Heck, I'd even be OK with Baltimore. But St. Mary's county? Really? Really?
I'll let my general level of disdain settle down a bit for the choice of location to crown a champion and go back to his general remarks about help from a divine presence. If G-d can help you win the Oyster Shucking Title how come he's not helping prevent bloodshed in Syria? Why isn't he helping heal this country of it's bigotry and intolerance by allowing all people to have a voice and understanding attitudes toward others? Why wasn't he helping Stephen Hill catch that ball as time was winding down in the fourth quarter yesterday?
Oh yes, because he was helping you win some meaningless title. So I will blame you for the fact the Jets couldn't put away the game in the final minutes...way to go Mike!
But seriously....you didn't have G-d on your side. You had a shucking knife, no major career advancements, and lots if time to practice. No amount of your religious faith came into the equation. If you think it did, how do you explain your opponent finishing 14 seconds after you? Did she not have a higher power looking over her? Was she Jewish (which would have been ironic, what with the Keshruit laws and shellfish).
Why do you think that a high power is at play at something so completely skill based as shucking oysters. I don't remember hearing the Dishwasher of the Year thank Jesus for helping her. Just stick to shucking.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Rid Us Of The Pink
There is nothing funny about breast cancer. It's a serious disease with serious consequences however one of those consequences should not have to be watching a football game where grown warriors are dressed in pink.
Last night I had to not only stay up until midnight (see yesterday's post on sick-days) to watch JJ Watt singlehandedly blow up the Jets (yikes, bad analogy there) but I also had to watch pink shoes, pink hats, and even pink gloves (ok the gloves are pretty cool).
Why is the NFL pushing breast cancer awareness? As I said, I'm not against it but isn't awareness marketing all about knowing your audience and tailoring the message appropriately? I know there are reports that a lot of women watch football but I don't think it's that many. Baseball at least uses the pink bats and gloves on Mother's Day when it would be more appropriate. But MLB goes a step further and also has a campaign for prostate cancer awareness. Guess who watches a lot of sports? If you said MEN then you win. How come the NFL doesn't deck all their teams out in powder blue for a week?
The reason is simple. As Mel Brooks once said, "It's all about the merchandising." The NFL knows they can be market all these pink items to their female audience I am addition to all of the regular team merchandise they move the rest of the year. Guys aren't buying the pink stuff it's only the women. If the league decided to add a whole line of blue products for prostate cancer who would buy them? The men have already bought all of the team merchandise in the team colors. The women have already bought all the pic merchandise for breast cancer awareness. The only group left to buy for are the animals. And where are they going to get the money from?
All that is left to do is to make sure that our wallets are high in the tree along with our garbage less the Bears figure out how to use our credit cards to buy all of their friends customized Chicago Bears jerseys. Somebody call Ranger Smith.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Our Day at the New Giants Stadium
Thanks to Cousin Rob and Josh, Mrs. Bloggerman, I and Carat got the opportunity to see the Jets play the Packers on Sunday, our first time to the new stadium. Before you haters jump off the hook and say “Yo, why didn’t you come see me if you were up there?” (or some derivation thereof), we didn’t have any time. We were up for a little more than 24 hours and also had to see my Uncle Leo who’s turning 100 in a few weeks. Do you think you’re more important than the guy who’s lived a whole century? I didn’t think so!
Below are our pictures of the game, and even though the Jets didn’t pull it out (or even put it in for that matter) we had a great time!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I’ll Come Back When Buffaloes Fly
It went downhill from there. Our server Kyle introduced himself and I could have sworn he was the kid from Road Trip, the one who’s car they took (played by actor DJ Qualls). He then took our drink order and proceeded to hang on the ledge hovering over our table for at least five minutes before we finally got him to leave. He came back took our orders - a beer, wings (appetizer), and entrees (salad and a sandwich), read our order back to us, including clearly reading our wings as an APPITIZER, and left.
A few moments later he came back to ask me if I wanted my beer as a “regular” or a “tall”. I told him a regular. That shouldn’t be a problem. But he comes back with (his exact words): “Oh well I ordered a tall, are you cool with that?” WHAT?! Am I cool with that? NO, I’m not COOL with that, Kyle. Now go back there and get me a GD Regular! Before I could answer (not in my head), here comes another server with my “tall”.
Fine...I just wanted something to drink and start sipping. Twenty minutes later our wings finally show up. No plates, no silverware, no napkins! As he’s placing the food down, I ask Kyle, “What is missing here?” He looks for a moment, thinks, and says, “Oh yeah, more sauce!” [Insert hand slapping head here in a DOH motion] I told Kyle to bring something to wipe our faces with. When he gets back we get a thin napkin and a paper dish. Have you ever eaten a wing? You need more than one thin napkin! Now it’s time to go to the next level.
I called a manager. Allen came and was very apologetic. He was nice and offered to comp my beer for the difficulties. Fine, he did what he was supposed to and made it right. That was nice.
Just as he left and I was ready to have my first wing, our entrees were brought out. Let’s just put the issue of not grasping the concept of “Appetizer” vs. “Entrée” aside for now. The table is so small that there’s not enough room for all the items there (even if we took off the salt, sugar, assorted sweeteners that would never be used. Now I’m on the borderline of fuming and ask for the manager again and get Rich.
Without going fully into it, he essentially “Oh, sometimes these mistakes happen.” I tell him that if I go to any of the ten other restaurants on that street this wouldn’t happen and we were done. After trying for another few minutes to placate me, I told him to get me a check for the half a beer I had and the one wing my wife ate. He finally left to go get the bill and we waited, and waited, and waited. After 10 min went by, we put down $5 on the table and walked out.
Now it’s 8pm and I’m still hungry. Off to Hard Times Café we go for a proper order of wings. And in a complete shocker, there were plates AND napkins waiting for us at the table, no matter what we ordered. To top it off the waitress actually asked if we were done with our wings before going in the back and getting our main course. GASP!
It’s not like I was with my Sister-in-Law for crying out loud!
UPDATE:
Rich, the manager, called back and he said that the reason it took so long was that he was getting us a gift certificate so they could “earn” our business back. I’ll wait and see if it actually arrives and if we’ll ever go back. If you see the big flying mammals, let us know.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Football and the ER
This anonymous fan (besides having horrible taste in baseball teams) slipped on some ice while running in scenic Rock Creek Park and because he, like many of us, wasn't in possession of his cell phone at the time, had to wait in the cool shade for over 30 min before encountering anybody else who could help him. Long history short he has a broken leg that required surgery and a titanium rod insert.
The real story here is not that he will be away from running for up to six months or that his wife (a frequent contributor to these pages) has to take care of him, or even that his dog can't play with him. Rather the moral of the story is don't go running with headphones (ala Mike Wise)
Achey-Breaky-Leg wasn't wearing them but more importantly. Seth (no last name available as of this printing) wasn't either. Seth (of no fixed address) rescued the gimp and helped keep him warm while waiting for the ambulance.
By the time I walked into the ER (he was being held in one of the “psych rooms”...how appropriate) half of the dead leaves from the park were deposited on the floor and in his gurney. The least the EMTs could have done is left a broom or a shop vac or something like that.
The good news is that he is on the mend and already putting pressure on his foot while walking on the crutches. We went over to visit on Sunday night and to watch the J-E-T-S sneak out of San Diego with a great playoff upset. So everybody was happy. Especially yours truly who got to watch the entire game without interruption, Hard Times Chili and Wings, and even some cookie cake. Now if he could just break his leg every week, we may go to the SuperBowl!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Um…see all those people eating Matzos?
Included in this is attending services during the High Holy Days (Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur). The challenge the NFL faced this year are that both holidays fall smack dab on Sundays during football season. For that reason both the NY Giants and the NY Jets asked the NFL not to schedule them for home games those days. The rationale was that the teams did not want to offend/upset/irk/or otherwise bother their season-ticket holders who are of the “faith” to have to decide between being pious and missing the home games or being fans and missing their religion. The idea being that if both teams played road games it wasn’t going to be a financial loss to the fans (this is where I indicate that as a Jew if you sold your tickets to the game on a holiday it would be almost as bad as going to the game itself. Very frowned upon.)
But as you guessed, the league didn’t quite get the message. Oh the Giant games those weeks are on the road, no problem, but somehow the letter from the Jets front office got lost in the NFL HQ mailroom (must have been Michael J. Fox….I never trusted him as a mail clerk…or Christopher Murney for that matter.)
Note to the league… if either of these two holiday’s falls on a Sunday…make sure both NY teams are on the road….it really isn’t that hard to figure out.
Jews out.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
J-E-T-S
Quality TV Time Tonight
For the record I’m not a fan of Thursday Night football or even Saturday Football that we see on the last few weeks of the season. There should be only one day a year that Pro Football is played on Thursday and that’s Thanksgiving. Furthermore on turkey day we should only have two games. Between the three games they went to last year and all that tryptophan it’s just too much stuffing!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Muni Meters, The Airing of the Shoes, and Gang Green
Friday: The Drive Up
We left in the mid afternoon and really cruised through most of the drive until coming to the George Washington Bridge. I find it hard sometimes to detect how
Saturday: Run, Drive, Eat, Drive, Eat, Drive, Sleep
Saturday found your hero (that’s me) getting up for his Saturday Run. Actually I got up about 30 minutes before my alarm was set to go off as the clock in the room was not yet reset to show the end of Daylight Savings Time. So instead of getting up when my phone was set to go off at 630am, I awoke at 6am, looked at the room clock next to me and thought I overslept by 30 minutes. Lovely. The weather outside was the kind of stuff that made you wish you had a personal windshield wiper built into your hat (misty) but I set off for a tour of Great Neck and the surrounding neighborhoods on foot. When I got back to the room, Mrs. Bloggerman and I set out to get her nails done (I found my way on another walk...can’t stand the smell of nail polish!) and then we headed out to have a look around a NY landmark, Fortunoff’s to look around. Upon seeing the copious amounts of X-mass decorations featuring the NY Mets and the NY Jets...I almost want to convert...but then again...I’d miss saying things like “Hag Samach....now go away!" We departed for the drive into NYC to meet up with the “Ageless Wonder” Uncle Leo and my Cousin Anne. We had lunch to celebrate Leo’s 98th birthday. I can’t believe how good he looks and gets around. I think we’d all consider ourselves lucky to even see that age much less be in the kind of great physical shape he’s in. The dining spot was the Fairway Cafe, and I also want to thank Mitchell London (the owner of the joint) for coming over and saying hello. He knows Leo and Anne well as Leo is a regular in the Upper West Side eatery. Mitchell was kind enough to warm us up with a pot of his REALLY good, fresh hot chocolate that was so rich; we didn’t even need the food!
In the middle of this wonderful meal, I had to go out and feed the Muni-Meter. For those of you who

Mrs. Bloggerman and I said goodbye to Leo and Anne and headed back towards the Island with a quick stop in Queens to Marshalls to scope out some great deals on Mets and Jets merchandise. She found some running clothes (love the bright green skort) and I picked up a nice heavy Mets sweatshirt and some new lounge pants. Back to the hotel to get showered and dressed for the mainstay event of the weekend, the wedding.
Held at a local synagogue, it was beautiful and very classy. The shul itself was very interesting and looked very gothic inside with a large wooden A-frame shape inside with high vaulted ceilings and exposed beams. By contrast the social hall downstairs was very modern and accommodating. Both proved to be appropriate backdrops for their different functions and helped make the ceremony feel solemn and the reception...well like a party! The bride and groom were beautiful, the band was great (except for butchering “Summer of ‘69” by Bryan Adams) and the food was devoured....extra credit points for supplying chicken wings at the bar while we were waiting on drinks and Doc Brown’s soda with the corned beef during the cocktail hour!
Sunday: Gang Green Puts the Screws to The Rams
Note: The Andrew Hotel was great except for the guests that complained about my shoes hanging out the window. First they were there to air out so I could wear them yesterday (same ones I had run in the day prior) and second they were securely tied and latched and were in no danger of going anywhere and thirdly, mind your own damn business!

Thursday, August 7, 2008
Ben Stiller Wasn’t Available?
I heard of the announced trade this morning on the four-letter’s two-word show (rhymes with “Dorts Renter”) and I have to say that I was very surprised as I thought that we weren’t even in the running.
I’m still trying to take this all in but I have some thoughts on the matter, at least initially:
1)
2) Favre has not had the best of years recently: Take this last year off the books and look at his previous two years in the league. 32 games played, 38 touchdowns, and 47 interceptions. His passer rating in those two years (70.9 and 72.7) were the lowest two years of his entire career with the exception of his first year in the league with
3) How long will he stay: Favre is 38 and already has retired once. Let’s just say he decides after this year to hang it up again. Then we’ve invested somewhere between a 2nd and 3rd round draft pick (see the article on the terms of the trade) for one year of Favre.
Even with all that I think it’s really exciting to see him as a Jet and we’ll have to see where this year takes us. Maybe Mrs. Bloggerman and I will take a pilgrimage up to the Swamps of Jersey to see Gang Green play.
Friday, October 19, 2007
I'm Pulling for the Patriots? Am I F-in Crazy?

What I'm most happy about here is not that the big, bad NFL team is trying to get a stranglehold on their ticket sales, but rather that they are cracking down on ticket scalping and allowing fans to buy tickets at reasonable prices. In the worst case example, a 50 yd line seat for the Pats/Jets game in December is posted on StubHub for $1,300. Oh by the way, the face value: $125. So not only is this "fan" trying to unload a ticket they aren't going to use, they're trying to cover the cost of their entire season ticket package! Oh and one more aside, if that fan really "couldn't" attend the game and wanted to sell the ticket so they didn't have to eat it, they could go to
I think all sports fans should pay close attention to this story as this could set the precedent for other franchises to go after these jackals (you know how I feel about ticket scalpers) who do nothing more then buy the season ticket plans and resell the tickets for huge profit. Oh and Stubhub of course gets their cut (the percentage of which is not clearly labeled on their site....another indication to buyers that you are getting ripped off).
A Money.CNN.com report earlier this month praised Stubhub and the sites like it for creating a "truly transparent secondary market for tickets." Really? Which part is transparent? That fans are getting ripped off or that scalpers are buying season tickets which real fans have been waiting for (the list for Green Bay Packers season tickets is still 20 years deep) and then selling them piecemeal for huge profits?
I think all sporting teams should take this route. It's not that I don't support a secondary market for tickets, because if you've read the earlier posts about trying to get Springsteen tickets (which arrived yesterday!!!) you'll know I certainly do, but you also know (from those posts) that I detest ticket scalpers who aren't just looking to make their money back on tickets they can't use but to actually turn a profit. And for that matter, where are the DC Police during Wizard and Caps games? How is it that scalpers can sell tickets right in the front of the building? Next time you "have" to buy from a scalper, negotiate and talk them down and above all...ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS see the ticket before buying it!!