An Owner Going All Out and A College Not

Teddy Lerner has a lot of money and his son Mark has a baseball team (Washington Nationals). But the difference is that Mark likes to do something that most professional sports franchise owners won’t even think of, go out and play with the team. Well sort of...

I was sitting in the front row of the right field bleachers at Nationals Park yesterday afternoon prior to the Mets/Nats game watching batting practice (and drinking a $5 beer...good promotion btw!!). All of the sudden a lefty for the Nats launches a ball high and deep towards the outfield wall. A guy who looked a little older then most of the players drifted over on to the warning track and reached up to snag the ball. I thought it was one of the coaches who are routinely out there doing the same thing. The ball glanced off the tip of his glove and hit him square in the nose. The trainer came out with towels and the whole nine and he walked off the field.

Low and behold I come to find out today it was actually the aforementioned owner, Mark Lerner. Adam Kilgore writes the piece in the Washington Post today. How about that? Fortunately Lerner is ok after some stitches, but he’s getting ripped for being out in the field in uniform. I’m not happy about this. It’s his team and he can do whatever the hell he wants with it. If he wants to sign himself to a 10-day contract and go and play 3rd base, that’s his prerogative. Fans may not come to the games but he can do what he wants. William Yurasko seems to feel the same way.

I also want to touch on Brown University. When I run with other people I like to talk which gives me little time to think. That’s to everybody’s benefit trust me. But something I passed (no idea what it was now) reminded me of Brown University. Their sports teams are called the Brown Bears. How is it that Brown is called Brown? According to our friends at Wikipedia, it was named after the Brown family of the 1700 Rhode Island Browns. But isn’t it interesting that it’s the only University named after a color. There is a Black Hills University (SD) and Blue Mountain College (MS). There is also Green Mountain College (VT) and The University of Wisconsin –Whitewater. But no other school with just the color. This is an abomination that needs to be corrected right away. I would be open to anybody’s suggestion or just calling the place what it is (sorry Brown alums) “Not Harvard”. Let it be so.

Cell Phones, eBay, and Karma

The other day when I got back from work, the dog was watching TV. And while I still haven’t figured out exactly how she managed to work the remote, I noticed she was watching “My Name is Earl”. I can’t say I’ve actually sat down and watched more then a minute or two since the show launched a few years ago, but the basic premise is that this guy wins the lottery and then gets hit by a car and he thinks its Karma getting back at him for being such a “bad” person over the years. So in order to change his cosmic output he sets out to use the lottery winnings to do “good” and make amends for his years of bad deeds.

Well I don’t invest a whole lot of belief in karma but I don’t wholly dismiss it either. Case in point: Monday. On the walk from my car to the train on Monday morning, I noticed something shiny on the curb and picked up a very nice Blackberry that somebody had dropped. Can you image loosing your cell phone? Now take that and multiply it a few times because you’ve lost your e-mail too. I know how naked I would feel if I had lost mine. So instead of just leaving it with the station manager and hoping it found it’s way to the main lost and found, I used my deductive reasoning (the owner’s facebook account) to figure out who’s phone it was and his e-mail address. Later in the day he got back to me to thank me for finding it (of course he was panicked all day) and we set up some time to meet and get it back to him.

Well that same day 2 items I had up on the old eBay (not to be confused with Old Bay seasoning which is much tastier) were finishing up on the selling block and were not getting much interest all week. Well when I checked back a few minutes before the close of the auction each had risen more then three-fold! Karma? Maybe but perhaps people were really interested in my Washington Nationals fleece blanket. Yeah...must have been karma.

Things I Observed At The Ballpark

This weekend my Mets cam to town (limping, of course) and I had the great
fortune to marry a Mets fan who insisted that we sojourn down to Nationals
Park to take in all three games (twist my arm why don't you). Of course a
great time was had by all, except for the dog who had to stay home, but
since we haven't been to the park since last year, I had the opportunity
to "notice" a few things:

Screech Lost Weight and his Tail
How does a mascot shed ten pant sizes, loose his tail, and get a whole new
attitude all in one off-season? Well when you play for a team who is just
awful (and that's being kind) and clearly nobody is going to the games you
have to entertain the fans somehow. Enter the new and improved Screech
who, according to a team press release, has "matured" into a hip teenager.
Oh boy, the bird now bumps and grinds with attractive co-eds in the
centerfield bar, runs with the Presidents and is generally more energetic.
I really don't have a problem with this but it might have been nice to see
a subtle transition over the teams first five years in DC.
OLD SCREECH
NEW SCREECH
Sit Down. You're Not Getting That Ball.
What the hell is wrong with you?! You're like 30 or 35 and you're screaming for a ball/t-shirt/other cheep promo item meant for the kids, really??? Sit the hell down and cough up
$7.50 for a Coors Light. On second thought, cut back on the beer and just buy a ball or t-shirt. The players flip the ball into the stands so that the kids can have them. Sure you are both highly likely to sell it on EBay as soon as you get home, but that's another story. This edict of sit the
hell down also goes for those of you in the upper decks who have no chance in getting the item. They're not going to reach you so just get over it!

No replays-umpire union
Ever go to the ballgame, see a great "bang-bang" play in the field and wait
on the play to be reshown on the jumbotran? Keep waiting there Kimosabe,
because the umpires say you'll never see them, at least for the time
being. See the Umpires Union insisted that their members calls in the
field not be questioned. If he says your out, well you are out. That
means no replay on the centerfield big screen, no possible way for those of
us not watching on TV have no way of knowing what really happened out
there. Thanks a lot for giving us yet another reason to hate the boys in
blue.

Week of Nationals

Let us not forget that we are a great nation. A great nation indeed. And as a great nation we make it our most patriotic obligation to make sure that we observe so many “national” days that you can’t keep track anymore (i.e. National Big Wind Day). Here was my daily list.

Wednesday, June 3 – National Running Day
Not only was it real, it was real hot! I made it about six miles from my office to the airport before I said #@$@$ it and jumped on the Metro for the ride home. I’m not sure of the origins of this fine observance but I do know that perhaps we can pick a better time then June to observe. What about the end of April or very early May? It’s warm enough in most of the country to get out on the roads, trails, treadmills, and even hamster wheels and really work up a good sweat all in fairly mild weather. Not like June in DC when either the temperature or the humidity (and sometimes both) race to see who can hit 90 first! I do have to thank Jeff for organizing the run, next year we have to get more of you out with us!

Friday, June 5 – National Doughnut Day
Free food is the foundation on which this country was built. That’s the reason that our national bird is the bald eagle and not the turkey like Ben Franklin wanted. If we made the turkey our national bird, nobody could eat it and then what would we have for thanksgiving?? My guess is even more doughnuts. Unfortunately I missed out on the free doughnut promotions that Dunkin and Krispy were offering but I still got a half decent plain-cake this morning over at 7-11.

Friday, June 5 – Sunday, June 7 – Nationals Park Weekend
This actually isn’t anything official or to observe but the Mets are in town this weekend. Anybody have 4 seats for Saturday’s game? I won’t pay over face value so get over it.

Papers At The Ballpark and I'll Do the Other Two Parts Next Year

I guess the first part should be last and the last part first. So let's start with

Elliot kicking ass at the National Triathlon yesterday in DC. He swam the Potomac (which in and of itself deserves a medal), rode the Clara Barton (avoiding the deer carcasses) and ran the streets of DC (finding the cozy confines of the Haines Point restrooms along the way) all in under 3:30! We here at Nobody Likes a Jerk are all proud of this milestone and wish him congratulations!

During that whole journey he never had to buy a copy of The Washington Post and that's a good thing considering the change needed for a Sunday edition would really weigh him down! But here at Nationals Park as I sit here after BP but before game time pondering why there are no less the 10 paper-boxes throughout the park each costing 25 cents for the weekday paper. Its not that a quarter is too much to spend for hours of reading and entertainment, but rather I wonder why a) you would need hours of entertainment when you've come to watch a baseball game and b) if the games start at 700pm (or near that time) why the Post would still charge you to read news that is almost 24 hours old. The mind wobbles and the newsprint smudges your fingers.

Publish Post

Now where is my Jumble?!?!

The Team Stinks, Raise the Prices and Stop that “Bell” Hop

Oh Ne-Ne they say. “They” can be the fans or possibly the ticket scalpers who are getting wallet raped because nobody wants to go out and see a team compete for last place in the division, even with the new ballpark. However in this case, “They” are the owners of your Washington Nationals Professional Baseball Club. And “They” have said to the fans that not only are we going to raise ticket prices next year but we are in fact going to drop them.

Yep, that’s right....a professional sports team is going to drop the price to attend their games. I know...it’s a shocker. What’s next, lowering the price of beer to within $10 of the suggested retail price? Let’s not go overboard, but this is good news, especially for those of us who go to a few games a year. Here’s the full rundown from the Washington Post.

Now on to the recently departed Tatem “Wait Those Aren’t My Bags” Bell. Mr. Bell was recently dismissed as a running back from the Detroit Lions Professional Football Team. He was being replaced by Rudi Johnson, a free agent recently cut by Cincinnati. Well Johnson’s bags got to the locker room in Detroit before Bell left, and being the concerned citizen he is, Bell picked them up and walked off with them. The theft was caught on security cameras and Johnson was alerted. Bell was called and the bags showed up the next day emptied of Rudi’s underwear, credit cards, driver’s license and $200 in cash. Bell has a story about how he didn’t know the bags were Johnson’s and thought they belonged to a friend and claims he doesn’t know how they got emptied but you can read the whole story here in the Detroit Free Press. What I what to know is, why was there a security camera in the locker room? Who’s watching this footage and why? Is there an all female or an all gay-male security staff? Even so, most of these guys are like 350 lbs and not all of it is muscle if you know what I mean.

I think I need to go throw up now...excuse me.