Bringing Back The Good Old Days

How is it that we no longer settle our political disputes with a duel? It has to be the finest way ever invented to get the last word in. And where else but the United States Congress could this be the best way to show your constituents how valuable you are to them?

On February 24th, 1838, Rep William Graves (KY) shot Rep Jonathan Cilley (ME) in the leg over a claim by Cilley that Graves' patron (a NY newspaper baron) was bribing Congressmen. Cilley was shot in the leg and bled out quickly. Shortly after a federal law was passed prohibiting dueling (in DC anyway).

What a shame. Sure a guy was dead but nobody else is going to challenge Graves (and his boys) of anything. Imagine how quickly the health care debate could have been solved. Or even how we may never has had to be subjugated to these awful GOP debates. Surely Santorum, Romney, Gingrich, and definitely Paul would have been called out to the fields and left bleeding many years ago. Surprisingly that would have left us with a race between Pawlenty and Huntsman.

But can we go up to the attic and dust off the white gloves and Colt revolver and head outside to get some fresh air? Every state in the union eventually followed suit (the South took a while longer than everyone else). The Federal law specifically refers to DC, but seeing as how Congress isn't shy about dabbling in the District's affairs, maybe we could work out an exemption? Maybe even stretch the line into neighboring Maryland or Virginia? Hummm...

Well as a Bay State resident, I can tell you that we are out of the running. The gun laws here are tight. The only loophole is if the contestants headed to Prince Georges County, where two people shooting at each other wouldn't raise a whole lot of eyebrows. Coincidentally, the 1838 duel took place there (Bladensburg dueling grounds). But our backwater redneck neighbors to the south might really go for it. Virginia has always been a bit more open minded when it comes to gun ownership (close minded in every other kind of right). In fact they just rescinded a law allowing only one handgun a month. Besides nobody can defend their home with just one 9mm, 15 shot, semi automatic Glock9. You need a gun in every room, just in case somebody breaks into your house when your on the can. If you don't have a Saturday night special in the medicine cabinet you could get jacked.

So back to the duel. You remember this post is about the duel (or Alice's Restaurant). Why don't we kick all the illegal immigrants out of Shirlington and the Walter Tejada Memorial Day Laborer Pavilion. Flatten the area and you've got a great dueling grounds. Plus the Wieene Beenie is right there so you can grab a chili halfsmoke before main event. There's even a supermarket if you wanted some picnic foods. Lay out a blanket and take in all the gory action!

Sounds like a party to me!

F-U-SOPA

I wanted this space to be dark (-er then usual) today to join the internet protest against the pending SOPA and PIMA legislation in Congress.  But then you might just assume that I had forgotten to post or had decided not to post today. I don't want you thinking those awful thoughts about my blogging abilities.

So stop reading this post right now and go to Google and sign the petition...join the masses...give in now!

Up, Down, Up, Down Feel The Burn and They Just Don’t Get It.

Yes...you too can loose weight by using the newest exercise craze spreading across the nation. We have people in all 50 states (and some non-voting territories) using our exercise program with proven results. You’ve seen them on TV working their legs and cores and hands all night long, and now you can join them.

Well sort of. I mean you’re not going to get yourself elected to Congress anytime soon. Heck you probably don’t even vote regularly...but that won’t stop you now that you can get your hands on the Congress’ own: Presidential Speech Workout Plan.

Yes that’s right you can feel like you’re right their in the chambers standing up every 5 lines of speech and clapping like you’re trying to kill a horde of mosquitoes. And just when you sit down and your hands start to get feeling back in them, you’re up on your feet again in this aggressive sweat fest.

Still not dropping those pounds that you’d like? Well step up to the advanced level training where you’ll done a winter grade wool suit (or pant suit for the women) and you’ll be blinded by all the sweat dripping off your cranium. Are you handicapped or otherwise chained to a chair/bench/or other seating vessel? Well just start clapping as hard as you can every 10 seconds and occasionally hoot and holler to burn, burn, burn those calories.



BTW: Does anybody else think we could save some time and some eye strain if we substituted Speaker Pelosi for an “applause” sign like on TV?

Now the following rant come courtesy of my FinL and I take no responsibility for it’s content, validity, truthfulness, or any other legal-type words. Enjoy:

After Obama's speech last night you get the feeling that he going to require banks to extend credit to small business to get things rolling again. It just seems to me that "BANKS JUST DON'T GET IT", I always thought that that bonuses were for a job well done, not for executives who run their companies into the ground. Think about this, here in America if a CEO screws up he or she is given him a golden parachute, in China they stand them in front of a wall and shoot them. Then they send the family a bill for the bullet.

While I don't advocate that method we have to have some reform in this country that rewards achievement, not failure. These Banks for the most part helped get us into this mess and now feel it's not their responsibility to help get us back on track. They take our bail out money and refuse to tell us how they are spending it, then there are some banks that claim they didn't need the money but took it any way. They spend our money on lavish retreats at high end resorts and then look at us us as if we are stupid when we question their acts.

To add to this we have a congress that passes a stimulus package that most of them didn't read. That didn't stop the Republicans from declaring it a failure even before it has a chance to maybe work. Think about this, they hopping it won't work so they can say "I told you so!". Isn't this the same as hopping that American will fail just to prove they are right. But it's just not the Republicans, Nancy and her gang are also to blame. They filled this bill with so much pork that even a gentile might consider keeping kosher. I just know that saving that rat in Nancy's district will but American back on track. Well guess what
"THE POLITICIANS DON’T GET IT EITHER!"

If we are to recover Obama might be right we have to get credit rolling again and put people back to work. So instead of fighting over who's plan won't work, lets fight to make it all work so we can get back on an even keel.

More Stuff I Forgot or Want to Add On

Ok there are a few things that I didn’t get to or more likely, my brain didn’t process before the posting deadlines. I want to add them here.

Crazy Legs
So while we were walking up to the ball park on Saturday night, I bumped into World Competitive Eating Champ, Crazy Legs Conti. He was on site for a run up to the annual July 4 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest. It was quite an experience. I didn’t get a chance to ask him if I could learn under his expert tutelage but then again I don’t think it would do a diet good.

Pics from Day 1
Here are some assorted pics from Day 1 at Shea.

The view of Citi Field the new ballpark

a few lone holdouts in the rain
Everything in NY has to list calories (400 for the Nathan's Dog)

The Danny Heep Jersey as referenced yesterday. The winner of the most obscure jersey contest

Special Election
Yesterday there was a special election for the Congressional seat vacated by fat Al Wynn. Wynn lost the primary vote a few months back and decided to bail out and stick the taxpayers with the $1 million bill for a special election that will put somebody in Congress for the next 4 months.

In yesterday’s election we were able to choose between a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent, or write in your own candidate. Well guess which one Bloggerman chose? Yep, I received exactly one vote for the US Congress, Maryland, 4^th district. I didn’t win because Mrs. Bloggerman decided to vote against her husband cast a vote for what she dubbed “a real candidate”. I hope all the Gays and Lesbians getting married in California in the upcoming months (Way to go by the way!!!) realize that they are in for exactly this kind of miserable matrimonial bliss. By the way here are the results of the election if you care.