Take Me To the Cleaners To Get Some Coffee

Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Starbucks (if that is your real name!) for taking me to the cleaners this holiday season. I thought the point here was “good will toward man”? Evidently, I don’t fall into that category because you keep charging me more for my coffee. I’m not trying to be difficult here either. I don’t order a triple-soy-no foam-four Splenda-double cup-half decaf-could you put a birthday candle in it for me – moca-chi-ino. If you wanted a few extra cents for doing all that work, sure no problem. But what I’m talking about here is nothing more than a few shots of flavor.

Specifically I’m expressing my outrage over your holiday seasonal lattes. On a recent trip to one of your establishments I saw a sign promoting your limited time flavors of the season, Peppermint Mocha, Gingerbread, and Eggnog. Oh boy am I excited! I love this time of year...my favorite flavors come out everywhere; from pies to coffee. Put me down for one of those Gingerbread Lattes, but only a tall since I don’t want to have to run and find a Men’s room four times in the next five minutes.

“That’ll be $3.75 cents sir.”

Wha...wha...what? Are you serious?

How can a tall, seasonal-flavored latte cost more than one in the middle of the summer? According to your menu, a regular tall latte will run me $2.75. Add to that another $0.40 for a flavor shot and you end up with a $3.15 drink, composed of espresso, steamed milk, and a pump or two of flavored syrup. That’s still way too expensive but I won’t get into the world of overpriced gourmet coffee (although I could get roughly the same thing at 7-11 for $2 less!).

Yet, you are charging me an extra $0.60 for the honor of having a bit of holiday fun. I don’t get it? Does Dunkin Donuts charge me $0.20 more to have a Pumpkin Donut? Does the guy at the farmers market charge me more for a peach in the middle of the summer? No...no they don’t, because it’s the season for such things. In fact, I’d probably be OK paying a few cents more to have a peppermint latte in the middle of July. That just makes sense.

So keep your grubby hands out of my wallet. If I have to go to Starbucks then I’m going to keep to the “regular” flavors and save my holiday merry making for places that don’t charge extra for a little cheer.

Peace out!

New Donut Ain’t All That and NASCAR Fan

I admit it, I gave in the viral marketing blitz that Dunkin Donuts put on to get me to try their newest flavor, Toffee for Your Coffee. The donut was the creation of a man (Jeff Hagar) in Alabama who won DD’s “Create Your Own Donut” contest earlier this year.

His creation is a sour cream cake donut topped with glaze and chopped Heath® Bar. Now take those components separately and I don’t think anything compares. The sour cream donut is my all time favorite. It’s crunch on the outside and soft and cakey on the inside. Perfect! Then add the crunch of Heath bar brand toffee...can you say “heaven!” But oddly enough these two components didn’t mesh the way I hoped they would have. The result was a fairly dense donut that lacked the crunch that the sour cream or the toffee should have provided. It was almost too sweet and frankly underwhelmed this critic. My message to Dunkin...go back and try this one again...maybe bake the toffee bits into the donut...that might do it.

We’ve spoken in this space about fans of various sports and sport teams (i.e. Redskin Fan). These “fans” just don’t get it. Life does not revolve around their team. In fact chances are there are other teams out there who are just as good if not better and it wouldn’t hurt to at least show some knowledge of them. As it turns out...NASCAR is no exception to this rule. A while back I posted about Fat Tony Stewart and his equally Fat Face. Today I heard from a viewer who had some deep insight into my posting. He (I can only assume it was a “he” from the redness of his neck) posted this comment,

how bout u u f****n b***h

Now I can only assume his redneck status although the use of the letter “u” to replace “you” has some urban connotation to it. I thought it was at least a little classy that he left “stared” out the cuss words. But the bottom line is this is a Tony Stewart fan who doesn’t have the 1) manual dexterity of the fingers 2) the intelligence or 3) the time to type an entire comment complete with firm facts and figures to back up his statement. The only word I can think of is, Talent. Thank you NASCAR fan...you are truly a Jerk.

Run Patriots, Run!

Happy Patriots’ Day to everybody out there!

Happy What?! What the hell is that?

Patriots’ Day, (according to our friends over at Wikipedia): “...is a civic holiday commemorating the anniversary of the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the first battles of the American Revolutionary War. It is observed in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and state of Maine (once part of Massachusetts), and is a public school observance day in Wisconsin.”

I’m not really clear as to why it’s celebrated in Wisconsin, but I’m all for holidays that don’t make a lot of sense (see Big Wind Day in New Hampshire).

The real highlight of the day is not the colonial reenactments but rather two Boston-based sporting events, the running of the Boston Marathon and the 11am game of the Boston Red Sowx (yes I know...but it’s phonetic).

The marathon is of course the bigger of the two events where most of the runners are you fast SOBs that I constantly assail because you're just too darn fast. This was the 113th running and it is still the only “major” marathon not run during a weekend. The full story can be found over at the Boston Globe, but it looked like a great race (especially on the women’s side with the closest finish in history and even the Americans got in on the act finishing 3rd in both races (hey we don’t suck as much as I thought). But on a serious note, congratulations to all the runners and I hope you all had a great race! The way I see it by the time I’m 80 or so I can qualify...see you in a little less then 50 years.

The other event was the Red Sox (see I can spell) game today. The game is the only one of the year on the entire Major League Baseball schedule to start before noon (the only game scheduled prior to the season; there are some makeup dates that need to start early). And it’s evidently very exciting as you can exit Fenway Park, walk a short distance and see some of the marathon finishers (the winners finish somewhere in the 2nd inning).

And finally, while this has nothing to do with Patriots’ day, tomorrow I want to alert you to two other New England-based traditions:
1) 50 cent Ice Coffee Day at Dunkin’ Donuts
2) Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry’s

So Run, Celebrate, and Enjoy!

Why is the Room Spinning?

So I thought it would be a good idea to go and get a cup of coffee part way through my morning routine. Not a bad idea, after all a little caffeine can be good for you and help get you though your morning. Instead of making it in house, or even going to the cafeteria for some Dunkin Donuts-brand coffee (the official coffee of NBLAJ), I ventured out to the corner 7-11.

If you have one near you and haven’t been yet, go. I know it’s not the best stuff but it ain’t bad either and frankly there are so many choices as to flavors and “drinks” (cappuccino, late, espresso, regular coffee) it’s actually better then Starbucks and to top it off they have more food to select.

I settled on a medium, toffee-nut cappuccino, but I wasn’t done there. On my way to the register the donuts were calling my name (which is funny because at last check donuts don’t talk...but that’s a topic for another day). Even though I already had oatmeal and an orange this morning I felt the need for flour, water, chocolate and sugar, all lightly-fried into a round shape.

Not to worry, I finished it all, but now the problems start setting in. My heart is going just a notch above “hummingbird” and I’m too-wired and can’t even sit still. How much sugar did I just ingest?

16oz Cappuccino
Nutrition Facts
Calories 200 Calories from Fat 108
Total Fat 12g 18%
Saturated Fat 8g 40%
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 200mg 8%
Total Carbohydrate 50g 17%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugars 46g
Protein 6g 12%
Est. Percent of Calories from:
Fat 54.0% Carbs 100.0% Protein 12.0%
Chocolate Covered Donut
Nutrition Facts
Calories 250
% DV 1
Total Fat 11g 17%
Sat. Fat 3g 15%
Cholesterol 0mg 0%
Sodium 190mg 8%
Total Carbs. 35g 12%
Dietary Fiber 1g 4%
Sugars 20g
Protein 3g

So to recap that's 66g of sugar (roughly the same as in a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough! Yeah, I think I'm good to go for a while. The word for lunch is "Salad".

Damn...That's Good Coffee

While I'm not generally one for crass commercialism I do love me a cup of that Dunkin' Donuts coffee. I love it so much (and since they are giving it away for free) I hereby name it...

"The Official Coffee of NobodyLikesaJerk"

Now go out, click on the image, and get your free sample!

That's an order!