Can’t You Kids Keep Down That Racket???

That’s what Mrs. Bloggerman was thinking (practically out loud) while riding the train into work yesterday morning. There is an unwritten rule on the Metro that you will be quiet and read your paper, sleep, or check your blackberry from the time the system opens at 5am until at least 9am.

I’m serious about this. There is to be no noise if it can be avoided. That means keeping your iPod volume down, putting your phones on silent and above all, no horseplay and shouting of any kind! The Pendulum of Elon University put it best when they said in a recent online post:

There is certain etiquette to the D.C. metro: a set of unspoken rules such as staying to the right when riding the escalator, standing to the side of the doors of an unloading car and keeping quiet and respectful on the trains themselves. Tourists, of course, don’t know these rules. This annoys D.C.-ers to no end.

I couldn’t have put it better myself....but there’s a twist here, it turns out these kids were actually local students apparently on some sort of field trip (complete with chaperons). Here’s Bloggerman’s new rule. If you talk on the Metro during the morning unnecessarily then you will be thrown from the train while it’s in motion. You may or may not land successfully back on a platform. Chances are usually slim, as more then likely you will either hit the electrified third rail or fall hundreds of feet to your death from an elevated track to the street below. That would shut them up quick.

I know it’ll shut me up!

Random Monday Musings

A few Monday musings for those of you getting back to work today.

1) turn your clocks back. I'm a little upset because I remembered to turn them all back within a few hours of waking up yesterday including my watches. Then this morning when I got in the car on my commute, I realized I forgot to take my watch...damn!

2) I found a good way to prevent fog build up on your car mirrors. For those of you north of here it's a handy trick for mornings like this when the mercury dips down in the AM.

Take some liquid soap and rub it onto the mirrors with a slightly damp paper towel while the mirror is dry. then wipe the solution off with a dry paper towel and your mirrors will be fog free for about 2 weeks.

3) The Jets stink. But how bad are the Redskins that they BARELY beat them yesterday. And to further the post to Redskin Fan...please have your radio announcers SHUT UP too. Sam Huff and Sonny Jourgansen are the two most painful voices on the radio. Not only do they mumble about 10 ft away from their microphones so you can't possibly make out what they're saying but it's as if they don't bother to pick up the opposing team's media guide. They referred to Jets tight end Chris Baker, simply as "jets tight end" about six times in a 2 minute span. You'd think one might read down this roster and say "humm...#86 is Chris Baker". Every other radio team in the country does it, why not them? Also I'm not the only one who thinks they stink. One blogger even went so far as to say,

"...they sound like three old men battling Alzheimer's. They repeat themselves constantly and make John Madden look like Dennis Miller."

4) Family Guy's 100 episode was on last night. I haven't seen it yet so don't tell me what happens or so help me I will come for you in the night.

5) A co-worker sent this list of ideas (originally from Andy Rooney of 60 Minutes) on ways to annoy the hell out of telemarketers and mail solicitors. I don't know if any of this works but thought it was worth a moment of your time (one that you'll never get back). I also like going with "hold on let me put my brother on the phone." The oldies are still sometimes the best.

Andy Rooney's Tips for Handling Telemarketers and Other Invaders

Three Little Words That Work !!
(1)The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...'
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end?
This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.

This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales person to call back and get someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

(3) Junk Mail Help:
When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies throw their own junk mail away.

When you get those 'pre-approved' letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 41 cents postage 'IF' and when they receive them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw them away! The postage was around 50 cents before the last increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-paid return envelopes.

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back! If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to keep them guessing! It still costs them 41 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...Twice!

Redskin Fan.....shut up!

This is to "Redskin Fan."

Redskin Fan is not an actual person but rather a composite persona made up of fans who not only live and die with their team but who put all reality aside and don't think their team can ever loose. If you root for the Colts or even the Patriots (hard to say that as a Jets fan) you don't have to shun reality to know that your team (this season anyway) is really good.

Redskin Fan though, doesn't get that their team "ain't so friggin' good." Redskin Fan insists that because they've won a few games this season and they have "future hall of fame" coach Joe Gibbs back that suddenly they should buy their airfare for the SuperBowl.

Eh....maybe Redskin Fan might have thought better before making such proclamations as, "We're going to take New England!" or "They can't stand up to our tough Defense!"

I guess that tough Defense was in their other bags as the Patriots clobbered the Skins 52-7. In fact it wasn't until the Pats put in the 2nd team that the Skins managed their one touchdown...late in the 4th quarter.

So what made Redskin Fan so damn sure that their team was going to beat what some people are viewing as the best team in a long while (they're good I just don't know if they're that good.)? Perhaps it was that the Redskins had a top 10 ranked defense that really hadn't been tested (unless you count the vaunted attack of those Arizona Cardinals and their 79 year old quarterback with the bum elbow), or maybe it was head coach Joe Gibbs and his theory of "Well we're ahead by 3 points with a half of football left to play, let's get real conservative and not try to score again."

Whatever caused Redskin Fan to believe the unbelievable they need to stop. They also need to stop calling sports talk radio stations proclaiming their team's greatness. I root for the New York Jets, and that has taught me a lot about both the good and the bad. This year they stink. I mean really stink, like day old cheese, stuffed in a piece of fish and left on top of the radiator all day. I know that they won't win every game. Heck, I know they won't win most of them. It doesn't mean that I don't pull for them in every game until the end, but I don't call up the radio hosts with the opinion that every other sports writer/commentator in America (and England) is sleeping on them.

What Redskin fan really needs is a 2nd professional football team here in DC. I know Baltimore isn't far away but it's not the same. A second team in town would compete for airtime and could provide a more balanced opinion of either team. But I'm not here to help provide solutions. I'm here to tell Redskin Fan to JUST SHUT UP!