10 Reasons Running Ragnar is Better Than Dating

Let's face it, online dating is here to stay. The pokes, flirts, winks, and punches to the solarplexes aren't going anywhere. A friend of mine (who also runs) is down on the whole scene so instead of the negative, let's do something positive and see why running a Ragnar Relay is better then dating.

#10 Shorter Profile
Why sit down and agonize for hours about what cute thing you can say to make yourself look smarter or thinner or that you're not going bald? Then you have to think about your likes (you don't really like long walks on the beach...we all know you're lying) and your perfect first date (which won't be read by anybody because all they care about is if you're going to put out). Then there's the profile picture. How well do you know Photoshop? If not, you'll have to hold your phone at arms length (proving you don't have any friends who could take it for you). But when you go to RagnarRelay.com all you need is your name (real names only... Ron Artest), 10k time (also real please) and t-shirt size. Oh and pic any picture you want. Put up a photo of Rosie Ruiz or your left big toe.

#9 Finishing Before The Others is OK
Actually finishing first is a good thing. It's a race dummy!

#8 Sweating is Encouraged
Although I've been out of the dating scene for a while, I don't think there are many of us who DON'T get nervous on a first date. You might even sweat a little (or a lot if you're one of those people). Ragnar encourages sweating. Run hard, sweat hard. However your teammates will like you a lot better if you towel off before getting in the van.

#7 Vans Aren't Creepy
Try picking up a girl for a first date in a van and chances are you'll cause her to run a 10k PR just trying to get away from you. Ragnar makes vans less creepy. Even the ones that have "Free Candy and Puppies Inside" get a measure of respect.

#6 Casual Dress Code
Shorts and sneakers are cool. You don't have to worry about stains on your sweater or if your socks have holes. We do ask that you adhere to a dating rule though, and please put on clean underwear! Unlike a first date, costumes are the norm and there is a fair amount of cross dressing tolerated.

#5 Pokes
Oh wow, I wonder who poked me? Oh he's a Jerk. Oh she's my mother's age...eww! Yep, casual contacts on the web can be unpredictable at best. When you get poked at Ragnar, you really get poked. Ouch... Oh were at the exchange? Thanks for waking me up!

#4 Dinner is Dutch
Don't fret over who's paying for dinner. If he pays will I have to kiss him goodnight? If I pay, will she kiss me goodnight? Stop worrying. Everybody can pay for themselves when you stop at a Cracker Barrel in the middle of nowhere at 2am or if you're lucky you can score a free peanut butter and jelly sandwich at Exchange 6. Breakfast is another story....there's some real pressure there.

#3 You REALLY Get to Know The People You're Sleeping With
No more guessing about the "history" of your bed mates. No more thinking...what is that thing on her leg, or that thing he does with his nose? 24 hours (plus a few more if you're not the fastest) and you REALLY get to know your fellow Ranar-ians. Everything from their childhood to (and hopefully not really) their digestive issues.  This might not be a necessary positive unless you like digestion.
 
#2 No Parental Pressure
What a nice change from your Mother pestering you about meeting a nice !  The only pressure you're going to get is from your teammates if you don't adhere to #1 on this list!

#1 You Always Get to Run Away
On a first date the running away is optional (less so when getting married), at a Ragnar Relay it's the only way to go!

There you go. So to all of you who are debating  running Ragnar or spending time trolling the bars and internet to find the right guy/girl/farm animal...stop. Debate is over...get out there and Ragnar today!

Matched on 30 Points of Compatibility (and Desperation)

I hate to keep pulling from news articles (and obscure ones at that) but this was too good to pass up. A homeless man in southeastern Pennsylvania was arrested and charged with a numerous counts of theft and deceptive business practices after he swindled more then $100k out of 13 area women.

The article is here.

It turns out that he met these women on an unnamed on-line dating service. How does a homeless guy get on an on-line dating site? Well I’m glad you asked; see (according to the article) his only possession was a laptop. A laptop???

I don’t know many homeless people (none at all actually) but I see them all the time and I have yet to see one saunter over to Starbucks and plug in their MacBook Air or their Sony Vio and start typing away. It seems to me that if you have a laptop as your only possession, you either stole it or are too friggin’ stupid to pawn it for oh say…FOOD MONEY!

And that brings us to the swindled women. Now this guy was 50 and if the women were in the same age range I understand that there is a certain about of “desperation” if you are not with somebody to find your special someone as time keeps on ticking for you. But if this guy only had a laptop (and we have to assume some clothes) then how did he pick you up for dates. Did you not notice that he didn’t have a cell phone or that all your dates involved some form of “free samples” at Costco? Then you fall in love with this guy so quickly that you decide to invest in his CD business. Oh he was “Grammy Nominated” you say? Well perhaps you’ve heard of the Internet (you must have because you’re using it to troll the dating sites). Maybe you should have looked up his claim to see if it’s true before giving him $10k large?

I think the biggest crime here is that he was found in a casino in AC. He should have had better taste and at least gone to Vegas or Mississippi or something like that…AC is a dump.

Lastly, I would have killed to be in on that initial phone conversation when the swindled single (ha I can write headlines too!) called police to complain, “That he had stopped returning her phone calls.” How did that go?

“Hello 911 what’s your emergency?”

“Yeah this guy I met online who doesn’t ever change his clothes and carries around a laptop all day stopped returning my phone calls. Oh and I gave him $10,000 to invest in his company.”

“Chunk, is that you? You always call with these crazy stories!”

“No, I’m being serious. The Fratelli brothers,...err...I mean this homeless guy swindled me out of $10k.”

“Lady, this is not an emergency. Please don’t call back unless you’re being kidnapped by One-Eyed Willie!”

CLICK!