My 500th You Don’t Give a Damn

Post number 500 and I know that you could care about as much as Jesus actually cares about what Pat Robertson spews from his cornhole on Wednesdays. When I was sitting around trying to come up with something special that would mark this occasion my mind went blank. Then Ms. Bloggerman suggested I take a look at other milestones, in particular 500th blog posts on other sites and take some of their ideas into account.

Most of the 500 posts have been boring thank you-s and oh my g-d I can’t believe it. I’m trying not to go that route. But I do want to Thank the person I most know in need of a razor for his inspiration to start this damn thing and an even bigger thank you to all of the idiots, politicians, athletes, sexual predators (and by extension Chris Hanson), film makers, film fakers, bathroom sign designers, and trash can emptying technicians that provide me with material on a daily basis (even though I’m sometimes lax in sharing it with you)

I also want to point out some interesting milestones (both blogs and otherwise)

My First Post: July 2, 2007

My First Post to complain about something: July 17, 2007
note: there hasn't been another gap in the site's history that long.

Strong Bad’s 200th Email (200 SbE Mails)
It's not a #500 but a great song by the Poopsmith

Georgetown University Hospital’s 500th Liver Transplant

AnquanH’s 500th Tweet
“My 500th Tweet goes out to my nigga @JayWilks Whats good for the weekend brotha man” earlier today

Alex Rodriguez’s 500th Homerun Ball goes for sale
A Rods 500th homerun ball sells for $103,579 which is slightly more money that I've made on this site.

Old World Limited’s 500th Customer
They gave away a free T-shirt...interesting designs.

One of my favorite sites, Cake Wrecks doesn’t even acknowledge it: although a Fetus with an iPod cake is really cool!

J. Otto Pohl over at Otto's Random Thoughts had a great idea. He used his 500th post to ask how many people have read all or most of the posts. In lieu of an actual count he asked how long people have been reading his stuff.

So I’ll close with that. How long have you been reading this fine waste of cyberspace that would serve a wider audience if I filled it with Midget pornography dubbed into Farsi?

Monday's Complaints: Golf Clubs, Hats, Return Phone Calls

The following is my list of complaints for Monday. Enjoy!

If you are carrying a set of golf clubs into the office (and you don't work in a golf pro shop) chances are very high that you will not have a
productive day. An additional note: you will be even more conspicuous if you are wearing a pair of knickers or goofy hat.

Speaking of goofy hats. If you are some Kramer-esqe hipster doofus, 20-something here is my free advice for the day: leave your grandfather's hat at home. You don't look distinguished, you don't look cool, and you don't look hip with this thing on your dome. And so help you if I catch you wearing one with a feather in the band! I will rip it off your head, light it on fire, and stomp it out!

Return my calls if you want my business. If we e-mail a few times and I say I'm interested in your available meeting space, don't ignore my calls and emails seeking to come for a site inspection. That's one of the quickest ways to turn me off.

Lastly, I want to wish John from Cake Wrecks a speedy recovery from a
sudden and serious sickness while he and Jen were on their book tour in
Dallas. Unfortunately its resulted in the rest of the tour being canceled (including tomorrow nights stop in Bethesda). So get well and get wrecked John.

How Did I Miss THIS?

The Force was clearly not with me yesterday. Had my Midi-chlorian count been higher, I may have had the foresight to post this yesterday and yesterday’s “Cinco de Mayo” post today. Oh well....on with the story.

Star Wars Day is May 4th. What? You didn’t know about this?

Dollars to donuts (or pounds to crisps) my British readers knew it and were probably a bit upset I didn’t allude to this yesterday. That’s because the holiday started in the UK. But it’s slowly starting to cross the pond and catch on here in the States.

There are cakes (and the subsequent wrecks) to celebrate as well as the forces of good and evil showing up at a Pawtucket Sox game. Leah looks like she’s had a few to many spaceburgers but Chewy looks good in his jersey. It might have been a bit more appropriate had the stormtroopers and Vader been wearing Yankee hats but I guess you can take what you’ll get.

Even our friends out on the west coast have jumped in California also has it’s own Star Wars Day, proclaimed on May 25 1997 to honor the 20th anniversary of the release of the original movie (ep 4).

BTW, incase you’ve read all the way to this point and are wondering why May 4th is Star Wars Day (as opposed to July 26th or October 2nd) is because somebody liked to say “May the Forth be with you” which quickly became the “May the force be with you”. Get it? Nope neither do I .

Two Sites You Could Probably Live Without...

Every once and a while you come across an island in the middle of the lagoon of the internet that really isn’t inhabitable but makes a nice place to pull ashore for a picnic. Bloggerman is now happy to share with you two such scenic locals.

Flightaware

Flightaware.com is a site that I stumbled upon today as I was trying to track somebody’s return from a recent business trip. No I’m not stalking Bill Gates again (although I have thought about it in the past). You can use the little control box on the left side of the screen to track a flight by airline and number or even destination/point of origin. Furthermore you can even track private flights. I looked at the records for the closest airport to my residence (Montgomery County Airpark) and found that there a quite a few flights out each day to places like New York City’s 30th st heliport and Mexico Memorial in Missouri.

Cake Wrecks

“When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong” is the tagline to this daily updated blog where you see the wacky, the wild, and the “what the @#$@#$@#” of cake decoration. My question after seeing some of these crazy cakes (and by all means, take a lot of time to filter through the backlog that you’ve missed since the site launched) is how come there aren’t more news stories about bakery owners and pastry decorators getting assaulted with piping bags full of leftover icing?

Everybody have a safe and healthy Labor Day holiday and we’ll be back on Tuesday!