Fast This? Fast You!

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

My ancestors were either 1) dilusional or 2) told by the "big guy" himself or 3) just decided that it would be a fun way to spend the day; by fasting from sundown to sundown on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement).

Why fasting and not flogging like some Muslims partake in during The Day of 'Ashura?  I'd even think about some ashes like the Catholics on that Spring Wednesday. Fasting is way tougher and I want to take this moment to run down the different phases so that you the reader can adequetly judge where you are in the process without looking at your watch.






Stage 1: Pre Sun Down Meal
It has become a sort of tradition that my friends and I gather at a local factory that produces, oh say, cheesecake, to consume mass quantities of food prior to the fast beginning. I'm not clear why we continue to abuse our stomachs and digestive tracks this way but who am I to mess with "tradition". A typical meal consists of shared appetizers and breads, a main course, and of course, the cheesecake dessert. While I don't have an accurate calorie count, my best guess says 5,000+. Not exactly the kind of thing Bob or Jillian would like to see but we do it for the cause (and to make sure we hit that "sin of gluttony" line in the prayerbook)  By the end of this stuff-fest we are all belly-aching and I for one have enough gas building up to power my car for a few weeks unleaded-free.

Stage 2: Sundown to Bed
I'm still very full and feeling plenty sick. My GI track is starting to back up something fierce and I'm thinking of breaking the fast very early by reaching for the Tums. Chasing a 21 month old around a room to get him to quiet down isn't helping things. I'd also really like some more water to wash down the reminents of the oreo cheesecake stuck in my teeth

Stage 3: Partially Restless Night
Do you ever get that feeling that you need to take some water in the middle of the night? The toothpaste you used before hitting the sack is still on your tongue, and the scratchy cough could easily be soothed with just a few sips. No luck...force yourself back to bed several times and hope the dog doesn't decide now would be a good time to share the taste of her ass with your lips.

Stage 4: The Next Morning
By now you'd kill for some water but toothpaste will have to do. Can I drink this stuff? Probably not a good idea. The fullness from the night before has come and gone and now you're trying to fight your normal routine of filling up the coffee pot and breaking out the cereal. You are still in your right mind though and not yet getting faint or dizzy. Time to take the dog and the kid on an early morning walk to kills some time. OK, back. It was a bit warmer out there then I planned on. No water yet, time to get to services.

Stage 5: Midday
I've made it through the bulk of the morning service. It's nice when all those people can lend their body heat (and some their body odor) to help me get just drowsy enough during the upcoming sermon that I'll pass out for about a 20 min snoozer. At least I listened to the Rabbi last night and didn't wear leather shoes today. Just my Vibram 5-Fingers...the official sneaker of partially observant only part of the time jews everywhere. (I think that should be their next marketing slogan!) Starting to get a little light headed and could definitely go for some water or a beer.

Stage 6: Afternoon
Now you're getting woozy. You're home from services and even after driving the extra long way home you still have almost 4 hours to go before you can even think of breaking fast. This is crunch time in my book. It's where we separate the quitters from the fasters (of something like that). Time to read a cookbook so if I can't have food I can at least plan future adventures. I pick up a great birthday present in the Siracha Cookbook and delve into plans for siracha salt and cheddar siracha swirl bread. All this reading is making me dizzy and sleep finally sets in. After another vivid dream (this time Justin Maxwell is making an amazing catch in center field.)

Stage 7: Just Minutes Till Sunset
Dizzy, Grumpy, Thirsty, as well as the rest of the dwarfs are setting in now and the worst part is I'm at my parent's apartment just looking at the tables of bagels, fish spreads, cheese, vegetables, fruit, cookies, pastries, juice, coffee, etc. If it were up to me, the hell with my friends showing up, I'm going on a shovel fest. But we all know that wouldn't be right, it will be just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes...ok you're all here why aren't we eating yet?

Stage 8: The Final Frontier
As we nosh on bagels, whitefish, cheese, juice, and desserts I start to feel a little closer to normal (that's MY normal, not yours). But it gets me thinking, back in biblical times my people fasted. But at "services" they didn't use prayer books and have afternoon naps. Nope...they sacraficed animals over an open flame. They were essentially making barbeque during prayer. So here you are fasting for 24+ hours and the whole time the priest at the front of the room is roasting up some goat or ram or sheep. It's a good thing that Salt Lick wasn't around back then. I would have had run up with a few bottles and brushes and gone to town.

For my friends/readers/web-based strangers who observe, may your fast have been an easy one and next year at the BBQ joint!
 

Smoke My Meat

Contrary to popular belief there are few things in this world that are worth the wait. There are even less things that are a worthy reward for a hard days work (other then a paycheck!). But yesterday we were all treated to one of those rarities.

By “we” I mean family members and assorted hangers on who are hanging at the beach with us here in South Carolina and by reward I mean one hell of a smoked beef brisket. Mrs. Bloggerman and I had talked in the past about smoking meat and this week's beach vacation seemed like the right time to finally try it. If it didn't come out then there was always the pizza shop up the block or even better the 120 item seafood buffet next to it!

The following are the steps and pictures I took during my misadventures. I took my cues (no pun intended) from this recipe. We started with a 4.75 lb first cut beef brisket and the night before I took it out and spread deli mustard over the meat. I could have gone with cheaper yellow mustard here since it's only used to 1) help the rub stick on and 2) create a crust for the meat but we didn't have any in our limited supplies. We used a “Kansas City” pre packaged rub. It wouldn't have been my first choice but it came out very well and there was enough of it to really work a good hefty layer on top. I took the brisket and wrapped it in plastic wrap and put it to bed in the fridge overnight.

The next morning it was time to get the grill together. From what I can tell when you try this out you should use gas or electric (ala Alton Brown) because it keeps a constant temperature, but we had a basic charchol grill and even then it wasn't a fancy kettle grill. Think the type of thing you'd find at your local park next to the picnic tables, so there was some regigering needed. Number one rule of smoking is indirect heat. With the grill so small I had to figure out a way to keep all the charcoal on one side. I solved this with a disposable cake tin. It held 12-15 briquettes easy. I lit those up and let the lighter fluid burn off. Then I took the soaked wood chips (I used hickory...later I found out that I probably should have used mesquite) in a smaller tin on top of the briquettes. The next challenge was to figure out how to keep the smoke and heat in the grill. I solved this by taking a large disposable roasting pan and draped tin foil over the sides. This kept most of the smoke inside and circulating around the meat.

Each hour I replaced the charcoal and every two hours I replaced the wood chips and gave the meat a spritz with apple juice. Because I was cooking fat side up the juice helps keep the top moist and also helps create a nice crust. This insures that the fat drips down in to the meat as it heats up and melts which in turn keeps the meat moist.

After 7.5 hours of cooking I took it off the grill on to a cookie sheet and wrapped it up in tin foil for a 30 minute nap. We sliced it up and paired it with a green salad, baked beans, roasted veggies, and some cole slaw/cabbage salad.

Overall I was very pleased with my first attempt at smoking. I really am looking forward to trying it again. Although this time I 'm going to use a gas grill so I can enjoy my day a little bit more. I'm also looking to try some beef ribs for which I'll need more cooking surface space so when we get back I'm going to use my Propane Taxi Groupon and get my $2 tank and get cooking. Who's coming over?

smoking , a set on Flickr.