Me No Understand Barry Son

Mister Barry son, you most honorable council member. But you no talk bad about Asian businesses in Ward 8. We no dirty. We wash all hands before frying catfish and pouring alcohol. Hands no dirty.

You no like us Asian people? You want see black people working in extra special Chinese restaurant? How they understand what chef say?

No apologize, it too late. We read paper too! We also Twitter. You say we dirty business no good for neighborhood. But we work hard. You no do your job. You not keep crime off streets. Bullet-proof glass have to be installed very expensive. Children have to work in restaurant to afford. Also, you no fix schools. Private school for children extra. Work even harder.

We think you make Ward dirty. You no clean up street. You no pay job training. You no even pay taxes. What you do all day? You lazy man.

But we no choice have. We need money for school and safety so we need continue work. Plus people vote you. I no understand why. You pay people to vote? You give jobs?

Tell about #3 combo plate. We make shrimp and chicken wing fried. $3.99. Bitch no set you up.

An Open Letter to the Voters of Ward 8

It’s good to see that you're doing well. Actually what I should have said is that it’s good to see your staying active in the political process

I know we can’t win them all but do you ever doubt your choices: Marion Barry, Linda Cropp, Marion Barry, Marion Barry, Marion Barry? Did I say Marion Barry yet? Maybe you should just stick to picking they candidate you don't want to win, or the one who will never help you or your causes no matter how much they promise.

You know, with a track record like that you could always pick other stuff. What about a betting service where you always pick the team playing the Mets or picking the most horse with the best odds or always picking black at the roulette table. The way I see it I could win a lot of money betting against you. I’d of course promise to give you some or build a supermarket in your neighborhood, which of course you’ll never see.

Do you wonder why you are so poor? Why so much crime plagues your community? Perhaps all these politicians you lovingly endorse are the ones screwing you? I don’t know that for sure but it sure does make some sense if you connect the dots.

Now you’ve decided to throw your immense weight (and judging by your footprints it’s not all political) behind Vincent Gray in the race for DC Mayor. I get it. I mean why support Adrian Fenty...he only has been benefiting the entire city with his programs. Your schools are better because of his chancellor. The same chancellor that Gray has been trying to get rid of since she was hired. He has lowered crime more and more each year (except for your kids who are running wild...great parenting over there). Oh and he’s continued the job of his predecessor, Anthony Williams, in making DC a place where tourists want to spend their dollars. Gray...yeah not so much, but he does have a high stack of unpaid parking tickets.

Yep good luck with Gray. I’m sure your luck will turn on this one.