Charred Monkeys and Sunshine

Add today’s entry to things that happened that I couldn’t make up if I was deep into LSD, Ecstasy, and went on a $40,000 Coke binge.

1) Maybe We Should Try Ham?
Actual headline in today’s Washington Post, "3 Charred Monkeys Found in Luggage at Dulles Airport." It seems that a nice old man from the Central African Republic who was coming to DC to visit his son, was temporarily detained by US Customs officials. I think that the conversation at the counter went something like this:

“Are you bringing in any animals, plants, or fruits today?” (a standard question)
“Why yes…I have several pounds of deer meat in my bag.”
“Oh. Well we’ll have to confiscate that. Do you have anything else to declare?”
“No not really. Well I do have 3 charred monkeys in my other bag. Can I keep those?”
“Um…let me check with my supervisor.” “Yeah, we are going to have to keep those too…if they were chimps perhaps…but monkeys are clearly a no-no.”
“Damn! That was supposed to be Christmas dinner…now what am I going to do?”

2) Weather Forecasting Insights
One of the reasons that I avoid listening to the news in general and weather reports in particular on the weekends is that the local stations generally put up their “B-Team” announcers. These are generally less experienced reporters who are trying to break into a big market. One such case was this weekend when Mrs. Bloggerman and I were driving home around 3pm. The weatherman on WTOP actually said this:

“The sun will stick around until sunset tonight.”

Um….er….uh…..[shaking head uncontrollably] what the @$#@#!!!! Were we just supposed to ignore that little nugget of genius? Wait…can I guess how the overnight will go: The sun will remain down until sunrise tomorrow. Did I get it right? One word my friend: douchewaffle!

3) Ultimate Couch Potato Contest

“Do you plan life events to avoid conflicting with the sports calendar? Does your TV have two settings: OFF and SPORTS? Do you think the inventor of the yellow first down line should be awarded the Nobel Prize for physics? Then ESPN Zone’s Ultimate Couch Potato Competition is for you! “

Yep that’s right. Can you sit on your ass for at least 8 hours at a time in front of giant TV screens with unlimited food and beverages? Think you’ve got what it takes to hang with the laziest of the lazy? Well test your skill on New Years Day in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor at the ESPN Zone.

This is pretty much the lowest of the low. We as a society can’t sink much farther down the pole of pure sloth-dom. With that said I was really thinking of entering until I head you only get bathroom breaks once every 8 hours….Ugh…too long to “hold it in.”

Monkeys Dogs,and Kings of the Hill Oh My!

Ok one more quick post:

First you have to see this story from India about where they are filming the latest DVD for "Monkeys Gone Wild."

And then check out the side bar for the Blogs I'm Checking Out section. I've added Mookie's Dogster page for you all to see how cute the pup-a-lup is.

Finally, for anybody who watches King of the Hill, you know that Dale Gribble's alter ego is one Rusty Shackleford. Rusty (much like Dale) doesn't trust the government and tries to rebel at any opportunity. Well if you think that's funny check out this quote from Friday's Washington Post in a story about World Bank Protesters.

In previous years, demonstrations had focused on the institutions' headquarters just west of the White House. But Rusty Shakkleford, 18, said protesters went to Georgetown, in addition to the traditional sites, because it was where the delegates dined and stayed. "We're just here to tell them the American people will not let them exploit the Third World community," Shakkleford said.

It seems that nobody on the Post's editorial staff has time to watch animated TV. This has been Comic Book Guy reporting.