The Greatest Thing I’ve Ever Seen at a Football Game

There are lots of great moments of individual achievement in football history but because it’s a team game many of the “most memorable” moments have come as the result of the efforts of several teammates forsaking individual glory and playing for the bigger team goal.

If you think back plays like “The Immaculate Reception” in 1972 or the “Music City Miracle” in 2000 come to mind. Heck, no matter what team you root for you can think of a play or two that would never have been possible without at least two players putting their talents together to make something bigger than the sum of the parts.

But I can guarantee that I have never seen two teammates come together like last week in Dallas. No it wasn’t Tony Romo to Dez Bryant for a 99-yard touchdown pass or even the kicker and punter teaming up to not get their ass kicked by the rest of the players on the team. Nope, not even close. What happened in the (front row seats of) end zone last week at Cowboys Stadium was truly a work of art. Or at least one hell of a lap dance/make out session. Play the video:


Tell me how many times you’ve gone to a sporting event, Broadway play, or Funeral and seen something like that break out. Worth the money that guy paid on Craigslist for the seats!

Ok it’s strange but evidently Cowboy fans show about as much class as Yankee fans. They have a brand new stadium and don’t even know how to use the bathrooms yet either. It seems that $10 Miller Light bottles and White Trash can make beautiful music whether it’s in the women’s crapper or front row seats. But where was security during all this? These guys watch the stands all game looking for trouble and this escaped their attention for almost 2 minutes (plus any time in the beginning before the video started recording). Wow...I feel safer already.

Dear Fan Standing in the Background/Sides During Sports Broadcasts:

Dear Fan Standing in the Background/Sides During Sports Broadcasts:

Do you realize that we can’t see you? All of the antics you pull, hats you hold up, or gang signs you flash; we can’t see them, nor do we want to see them, or you for that matter.

You don’t seem to understand this. You insist on throwing up your index finger in the “Number One” formation to root your team onto victory. Have you ever wandered why the starting pitcher or inside linebacker never holds up a picture of you, chanting “He’s number one!”? Maybe it’s because they, much like me, don’t care.

You are nothing but a blur in the background while the “4-Letter” is broadcasting Sports Center live from Arizona. We will occasionally see you through the gaps between Berman’s hair wisps, Ditka’s chins, or “underneath” (TV Term) an advertiser’s logo coming in and out of breaks. Even then you are out of focus and thus have wasted your time and money trying to get on TV because even your friends and family can’t make out who you are or what team you are rooting for.

Your time could be better spent at the bar throwing back $10 Miller Lites while looking over at the hot girl who’s making eyes at you. Never mind that she’s a prostitute who will probably leave you with an empty wallet and a scorching case of herpes, she’s wearing your team’s jersey. Go for it slugger!