You Can Lead a Table to Water

But only if somebody builds it first. That's where I come in. With my new found time off I have been looking around the house for some more projects to take on. Fortunately I have a wife who points them out so I don't have to look so hard!

A few weeks back she found a day water table on Pinterest or some other girls only site and asked me if I could channel my inner Jewish Carpenter (guess I wouldn't have been the first) and create something similar for the young boy living in our house.

The project is fairly simple. It's a rectangular frame with four legs (vs other tables with just two) and in the middle sits a $5 plastic tub that's supposed to be used for mixing cement. I chose to use scrap wood and screws I had laying around from other projects so my only expense was the tub, but you could also get the lumber at your home improvement mega store if you'd like. They could also cut it for you which would save a step or two.

I went with 1x6 pressure treated boards for the frame. If you do choose to buy the wood then try to get pressure treated since this will be holding water and will very likely be left outside in the elements. For the legs I used 2x4s (non treated). Again, that's just what I had laying around the house. You could use 2x2s here but I think there is more stability in the bigger board.

The tub measures 27.5x19x6 but because it's curved on the bottom my cuts were a bit tricky to measure. I ended up with the log cuts at 26 3/16 and the short sides at 16.5. I strongly encourage you to measure for your self and remember you can always cut down if you're too long!

To join the frame I used 1" wood screws. Normally I would say that deck screws are the way to go because they are coated against the elements but the only deck screws I had on hand were way too long. I like a clean look so I used the pocket jig to make my holes on the inside of the frame. You don't need to be this fancy and can just screw from the outside. Keep in mind though that you'll probably be using pine and should drill a pilot hole before putting your screws in to avoid splitting.

The one flaw to my construction choice was because the tub sits down 6" and my frame is made with 1x6 I could put the legs inside the frame. I did the next best thing and attached them on the outside but screwed from the inside. This time I did use deck screws (1 5/8").

Once everything was done (and raced inside to avoid the incoming storm) I fit the tub in and it looks great! It's currently sitting down in my basement awaiting stain and sealing which will hopefully come tomorrow.
I'll report back with finished pictures and what the little guy thinks of it.

the water table , a set on Flickr.

Wendy’s, Woods, and (W)idiots

“Idiots” doesn’t have a W but I needed to add a silent one to keep everything moving right along. Time for quick weekend update. Most of the weekend was spent down at Bull Run camping. I won’t go into the full details because the wonderful folks over at Mighty Baby Boig Please read their recap with interest. have already done so. I want to focus on 2 weekend specific events and a discovery I made today.

I hate the drive thru (Sonic excluded). Not only do you have to talk to the box and hope that they understood you but it usually takes twice as long to get your order as opposed to walking in the front door and looking at a cashier face to face. This way you not only can take your sweet time (nobody honking behind you or giving you the “You’re the number 1 driver in my book” sign) deciding on what kind of caloric laced feast you will partake in that day but also make sure they get it completely correct before walking away and enjoying. This happens to be the lead off topic today because on Saturday we stopped off at Wendy’s on the way to the campsite. Here’s the scene:

(We pull up to the order board…)

Order Taker: would you like combo?

Me: No thanks. Let me have a single [burger] no tomatoes and no cheese

Order Taker: Combo?

Me: NO! No combo. Let me also get another single no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: You want combo?

Me: No! I don’t want a freakin combo…give me 2 singles both no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: Ok pull up…total is five forty-one.

(We pull to the first/cashier’s window…)

Cashier: Seven sixty-one please

Me: No the order taker said five forty-one

Cashier: No, you had 2 singles and a drink…seven sixty one

Me: Are you sure because both my wife and I heard five forty-one.

Cashier: You must have heard wrong…it’s seven sixty one.

Me: I heard wrong!? Let me speak to a manager

Cashier: I am Manager

(BTW: Every time I leave out “The” from this dialogue, it’s because that word was not used by the Wendy’s staff…wonderful mastery of the English language)

Me: Give me my food and a receipt.

End of the story (for now is that I filed a complaint with Wendy’s corporate and we’ll see where it goes from there. Although we are both sure they spit in the burgers!)

The woods were very nice and via a number of circumstances both me and Mr. Boig now have matching Wall Mart $5 sandals and I learned that Mook-a-Lok is good with water as long as she can stand in it AND that Coors Light and a bagel with cream cheese don’t go well together (at least first thing in the morning.)

Lastly on to my discovery of this morning. For some unknown reason I was searching the word “idiot” on the world wide interweb and hit upon our friends at Wikipedia. Did you know there are seven US states where an “idiot” cannot vote? Special props go to the legislators (either former or current) in the following states for helping with Natural Selection

• Arkansas
• Kentucky
• Mississippi
• New Mexico
• Ohio
• California
• Iowa

Now if we could just declare voters who go to the polls because their clergy tell them to and vote based on “moral values” could be added to the “idiot” pool we’d all be a lot better off.

See Its Not Just Me...

...my brother-in-law has the same general sense of frustration with the general public as I do. Well with the public utilities anyway. Here's what he sent to me today...

I hate Clayton County water authority.

They never sent us a bill until today, fine, we don’t use any water. Oh but there is a late fee because they say they mailed out an invoice in October, too bad you did not receive it we have your mailing address as… Yes that is correct, no I can not waive the fee. Ok its just 3.75 what is this storm water rate of $3.75, oh that is for maintenance on the sewage system broken down to each customer, no it is not optional everyone pays it. Ok on the bill it says that my meter reading previous is 648 and currently is 648 for a usage of zero. Why am I getting billed $12.96? That is the minimum payment regardless if you use nothing or up to 3000 gallons. Sorry but if you want water service this is the fee. Is there anything else I can do for you today? Yes find other ways to swindle me out of money for not using the service and conserving water. AAGGGHHH!!!

So first off, kudos to Dave for telling it how it is and second I want you all to call the Clayton County Water Authority [(770) 961-2130] and ask to speak with the person in charge of the paper clips. When the operator tells you either a) I don't understand or b) there's nobody here like that, insist that there is and that the operator is part of the "giant cover up to hide the fact that the Water Authority is stealing paperclips from people who use them to attach a check to their bills." Be really emphatic about that last part and tell them that you've had 4 paperclips not returned to you by their offices in the last 5 months and you want them back. When they ask for your name tell them you are Mayor Adam West of Qualhog (pronounced Quo-hog), Rhode Island.

By making trouble for others you are making the men who married Eagle women very happy.

You have your orders now get to it!