Bells Will Be Rining (In the Non-Fiction Section)

More of “There is No Way I Could Even Make This Stuff Up,” for your reading enjoyment today.

SCENE 1 ACT 1
Bloggerman enters the men’s room at the local library to take care of some “business” before browsing the selection of new non-fiction to pick his next reading adventure. All of the sudden his ears pick up a distinct ringing that he knows he’s heard before. But where? Where did he hear that distinct “ring-a-ling-ling”?

Was it in school perhaps? Flashing back to my school days that sound does sound familiar. Are they signaling the end of the class period?

No, the library doesn’t have periods they wouldn’t ring a bell.

Was it to get the attention of a patron who walked out the door before getting his books fully checked out? No...that is more of a deep voice saying “Excuse me, but we may have failed to take off a security tag...”

I know where I’ve heard it before. It was a fire alarm. Oh yeah, we used to get those all the time. We were supposed to line up and exit in an “orderly” manor. Then when we got out of the building we were all supposed to gather in one spot so the teacher could count us all up.

OMG....it’s a fire!! What the hell do I do when that happens again? Oh yeah, Stop, Drop, and Roll....no that’s when I’m ON Fire...oh wait....it means get my butt out of there. The only challenge is that I can’t because I’m in the “middle” of something that you may use the restroom for. Should I try to stop and rush out? Nah...I think I’ll finish up here first. What would you do? As Kinky Friedman once sang “save your pants or your soul!”

I headed out of the bathroom and towards the exit. I have to say was I surprised to see most people having no clue what was going on even though the bell was more then loud enough to wake the dead (some of whom recently were buried in the periodical section). Most folks were just walking around casually and some were still waiting in line at the check out counter to get their books off of hold. See this is what Darwin meant by Natural Selection. Instead of pushing these folks out the door (I didn’t stick around to see if it was a real fire or not) and insisting that they hurry...just let them be and see what happens. Some will get out and others won’t. Those that didn’t make it...well at least they’ll be another parking space available in the front!

Battling Time, Dirty Rooms, Vote for Me, and Airtoons

Today I laud my BODY while I curse my ALARM CLOCK. These two entities did battle this morning and while my alarm clock won the early rounds, my body bounced back and took the fight when the ref went to the score cards.

It started this morning a little before 6am when my alarm woke me up and I rolled over to hit the old snooze button. Round 1: Alarm Clock. However what started as a 10 minute nap turned into a 45 minute snooze fest. In the end my body pulled itself off of the mat (bed) and woke up. You really have to give it to the body, after taken its lumps early on in this battle it showed tenacity and toughness and came back to conquer the alarm clock that wouldn’t go off.

The one thing my body probably can’t overcome is a dirty, nasty hotel room. Thanks to the folks at TripAdvisor.com we now know. This is the list of the 10 dirtiest hotels in America as rated by the readers:

· Tropicana Resort Hotel, Virginia Beach, Va.

· Hotel Carter, New York, N.Y.

· Days Inn Downtown/Port, Miami, Fla.

· Budget Inn, Knoxville, Tenn.

· Red Carpet Inn, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

· New York Inn, New York, N.Y.

· Poindexter Ocean Front Resort, Myrtle Beach, S.C.

· Days Inn, Lancaster, Pa.

· Ramada Inn Miami Airport North, Miami, Fla.

· Sea Club Resort, Fort Lauderdale, Fla.

Stay away from these places at all cost. I know I will.

For those of you who have the opportunity to vote for school board holders in Montgomery County, MD I am hereby throwing my hat into the ring for the At Large seat that is being voted on February 12. I don’t really want this job but want to prove that I can win an election with no advertising, fancy mailers or even taking a position on any of the “issues.” If you are interested in voting for me, send me an e-mail (in my profile) and I’ll give you the proper spelling of my name and the best place for you to vote. Remember vote early and often!

Finally I want to share AIRTOONS with you. Airtoons.com is a site selling T-shirts that use illustrations found in your airplane’s seat back safety manual. Here are few samples: