You're Not Really Here and I Can Prove It...

Yup, I'm just a figure of your imagination. I'm not really here and above all, you don't see me!

Of course I know you do see me, know that I'm here and occasionally even acknowledge me. So why was I blindsided last night at the monthly meeting?

Well evidently there is a persuasive underbelly to your local volunteer Fire department so out of touch with reality that they may be watching Fox News or at least the 700 Club.

It turns out that if you work hard all day at...work. Then you spend a precious hour with your family and still find a few hours to DONATE to an organization with "VOLUNTEER" in its title, you may be brought up for voting out. Now never mind the fact that the people doing the voting (and talking) don't ride on the ambulances, and don't actually perform any dacernable task for the department, let's focus on their two main concerns.

1) they are convinced that the county government is trying to get rid of all the volunteers. First the county cut some needed funds as part of across the board cost cutting. But wait...had they not spent so much time fighting the proposed ambulance fees they would have had all the money they need. Beyond that though somebody needs to explain to me why a cash-strapped government, who is constantly trying to find ways to save money would try to (secretly) eliminate volunteers (who WORK FOR FREE) and replace them with paid employees?

2) Of the all 200 or so volunteers with the department only about 50 put in any real time and of that group there are few of us who put in consistent time. So when you get somebody (like me) who put in consistent time and actually produce something of value (organize the training for all new members), why would you want to run them off with scare tactics?  I would think that when you actually get volunteers who want to work and produce quality products that you would encourage them and if they are not following "procedure" that you gently guide them back in line.

Above all what really gets me is the blind siding that took place. I was there in the meeting and all you had to do was pull me aside and say, "Look, I know you're pulling hours but you're not doing XYZ correctly. I'm going to bring it up as an example, but it's not personal."  At least there I would have some cushioning...

Look if you don't want me. Fine. I'm walking...but unlike David Banner, I ain't looking back.

Bells Will Be Rining (In the Non-Fiction Section)

More of “There is No Way I Could Even Make This Stuff Up,” for your reading enjoyment today.

SCENE 1 ACT 1
Bloggerman enters the men’s room at the local library to take care of some “business” before browsing the selection of new non-fiction to pick his next reading adventure. All of the sudden his ears pick up a distinct ringing that he knows he’s heard before. But where? Where did he hear that distinct “ring-a-ling-ling”?

Was it in school perhaps? Flashing back to my school days that sound does sound familiar. Are they signaling the end of the class period?

No, the library doesn’t have periods they wouldn’t ring a bell.

Was it to get the attention of a patron who walked out the door before getting his books fully checked out? No...that is more of a deep voice saying “Excuse me, but we may have failed to take off a security tag...”

I know where I’ve heard it before. It was a fire alarm. Oh yeah, we used to get those all the time. We were supposed to line up and exit in an “orderly” manor. Then when we got out of the building we were all supposed to gather in one spot so the teacher could count us all up.

OMG....it’s a fire!! What the hell do I do when that happens again? Oh yeah, Stop, Drop, and Roll....no that’s when I’m ON Fire...oh wait....it means get my butt out of there. The only challenge is that I can’t because I’m in the “middle” of something that you may use the restroom for. Should I try to stop and rush out? Nah...I think I’ll finish up here first. What would you do? As Kinky Friedman once sang “save your pants or your soul!”

I headed out of the bathroom and towards the exit. I have to say was I surprised to see most people having no clue what was going on even though the bell was more then loud enough to wake the dead (some of whom recently were buried in the periodical section). Most folks were just walking around casually and some were still waiting in line at the check out counter to get their books off of hold. See this is what Darwin meant by Natural Selection. Instead of pushing these folks out the door (I didn’t stick around to see if it was a real fire or not) and insisting that they hurry...just let them be and see what happens. Some will get out and others won’t. Those that didn’t make it...well at least they’ll be another parking space available in the front!

That Car is on Fire, Bush Can Read, and Kicking Back

Talk about a way to really start the week off (ok the week technically started yesterday but it was a Federal holiday so deal with it)! I hadn’t even parked my car this morning when I noticed the smoke in the garage next door.

At first I thought it was just a car idling, but then there was just too much “exhaust” for that. Then I thought it was the construction crew in the garage at work with a machine of some sort, but there was no accompanying noise. Finally I got out of the car and checked it out. Sure enough there were flames on the ground underneath this green Ford Taurus parked on ramp leading up to the 2nd level. As I got up there a woman who had parked nearby was already on the phone with 911 reporting the incident. I’ll keep the rest of the details short (I got a fire extinguisher from the construction crew but it did no good and eventually the fire department came and put out the flames but not before it engulfed the whole car and created a thick cloud of black smoke in the garage). What really bothers me is that while we were trying to asses the size of the fire and then get the professionals there to put it out, people kept driving right by it without a single thought to stop and try to help. Then when I and another good samaritan started to redirect traffic while we were waiting for the firefighters, drivers actually tried to drive around us past the fire. Just how stupid/callus/uncaring are you to see these flames and smoke and think that either a) you don’t need to find another place to park or b) you shouldn’t stop and see if you can help? These people all get the middle finger and I only help that you are never in need of assistance because I can’t guarantee that somebody will be there when you need it.

Speaking of idiots who are in need of assistance, our beloved President did a photo op with local DC area kids at the MLK library downtown yesterday in honor of Martin Luther King’s birthday. While there he read a book to the little children. My question is did he read to them or they to him? Furthermore perhaps the press office should not be putting the President in any setting where he has to read. Do we remember what he was doing the morning of 9/11? Also I want to know why we celebrate Dr. King’s birthday instead of the date of his assassination. I don’t want to “celebrate” the assignation…but why is that not the date in which we honor his memory and rededicate ourselves to his ideals? I guess it’s not all that important since we are honoring him and helping to move forward his ideals but it’s just interesting. The same thing goes for Lincoln.

On a recent airline trip, the flight crew requested (after take off) that we “kick back, relax and enjoy the flight.” This was a very nice greeting and probably meant to put us at easy for a late flight but it made me think (what doesn’t these days), that it is overly hard to “kick back” in a coach seat. There is just enough leg room to squeeze into the seat as it stands now much less “kick back”. Further expanding this, have you ever been sitting in coach and the jerk in front of you decides that he has the right to recline his seat as far back as possible regardless of your discomfort. Yes, the seats recline when you push that button; we all know that. But we also know that you shouldn’t recline all the way back if someone is sitting behind you because it’s not polite. Well this flight I was on was completely full…so using the above argument, even if I wanted to kick back and relax, I couldn’t.

SoCal Fires and a Note of Safety

I need to start today's entry on a serious note. All of you by now should know of the wild fires raging in southern California over the past few days. I received a note yesterday that my friends, the Nelsons, got out of harms way and are safely with family. I ask you all to take a moment and think of/pray for the firefighters, police, and rescue workers who are selflessly and tirelessly giving of their time and efforts to battle these blazes.

Times like this make me question how these fires get started in the first place. While I'm not a fire inspector or even a Rolaids Fireman of the Year award winner I can tell you what happens when you flick a lit cigarette onto a pile of dry paper or straw.....instant combustion. Now I'm not claiming that these blazes are the cause of a careless smoker or two but how many times have you been walking down the street or in your car driving and saw people just flick a lit cigarette out onto the sidewalk/street? Now imagine your driving along a forest and do that but instead of landing on the road it lands in a pile of dry pine needles....now you hopefully get the idea. Why is it that some jackass can throw his cigarette out of his window right in front of a cop and he doesn't get pulled over for littering or something even worse? Plus it annoys me to no end when I walk down the street and see nothing but butts on the ground. When I see these things...well I want to hit the person in the head with the business side of my penalty flag.

But all of this got me searching the Net for more information and I came upon a cool site: Litterbutt.com. On this site can report somebody you see in the car littering by reporting their plate and location of the infraction. They compile a list and if your state participates (currently only NC, PA, and TX) they work with the DMV to send a letter to the litterer telling them to stop it. While the letter doesn't really carry much "official" weight...it's enough to get some people to think. I don't encourage you, the readers, to do many things but I strongly urge you to go to the site, register and report people you see on the road. You can also compose a letter (using their template) to send to the Governor of your state to encourage their participation in the program.

Ok I'm off my soapbox and will be back with more hilarity tomorrow.