Dear, why is there vomit in my mouth?

Maybe its because I watched more than 2 minutes of the returns from the Iowa caucus last night and the anticipation that I will have to hear more about it today.

I think my distaste is threefold.


1) The greatest democracy in the world starts its nominating process with possibly the stupidest citizens (not including the fine residents of Texas). Remind me why we honor these people who pride themselves on knowing so much about politics that when they do cast their votes, they pick the eventual party nominee less than 50 percent of the time. Not a good ratio.

Additionally, if you listen to the interviews conducted with voters yesterday, you might think that the entire state is educated in the same one room school house. A woman said that this was the most important election in her lifetime (she was in her 50's), others kept going on and on about how "we" have to "beat Obama." No, what you need to do is use that critical thinking portion of your brain that humans have developed over thousands of years and figure out which candidate's platform is closest to your own stance on important issues. And yes, if you really think that Rick 'I'm more baths*& crazy than Michelle' Santorum is that person than pick them.


However I will add that if you needed more proof that the 30,000 or so voters who cast their ballots for Santorum are dumber then dirt, The Dugger Family (yes all 19 or 4,000 of them) were out campaigning the day before for the former PA senator. Ugh!


2) Because Iowa is the only state to hold a contest on this day, the candidates can spend an inordinate amount of time and energy lying to the people because they don't have to fly across the country to pedal a different pile of steam up another state's voters that same day. Let's make it interesting. Move New Hampshire and South Carolina to the same day as Iowa. You'll have an easier time weeding out the candidates and I could get on with my life (plus watch most of the candidates hang themselves with different positions on the same topic based on their audience).

3) Get religion out of the debate. I don't care if Mormons really do believe that a spacecraft will come down and wisk them away to heaven. I also don't care how white evangelicals voted. Stop trying to spin data to fill time. Either give me the full breakdown including how Asian homosexuality Jews voted or just go to a commercial break featuring the shake weight.

Speaking off jerk offs I think The Onion got it just right when they declared the caucus winner, a 600 pound butter sculpture.

OK the vomit is mostly gone now. Good thing the last thing I ate was birthday cake... That could have been ugly!

Yep, Our Mayor’s a Dog

And the voters in Rabbit Hash, Kentucky have the opportunity to elect another Dog when voting closes tomorrow. No, I’m not talking about a dog in terms of a dreg of humanity but rather in terms of a bastion of canine-aity (or fealine-aity or jackass-ery if you will).

In news that I couldn’t possibly ever dream of, reality is truly stranger then fiction in this small western Kentucky town were the mayor has been for the past several years. And while it is unique to be an elected politician with four legs, they method for voting is even more unique (or in line with the new American system depending on how you look at it) because you can vote as often as you’d like as long as you pay $1 per vote. In this system it’s true that the candidate with the strongest financial backing will win every time.

Quite obviously the job is ceremonial (then again so is the Governor of Texas and someone that held that post went on to ruin our country from the seat of the White House), but it’s also quite dangerous. Two “mayors” have died while in office. Poor “Goofy” and “Junior”, they were such good examples of civic pride.

I encourage the fine readers of this space to do three things between now and the closing of your local polls tomorrow:

1) Go and VOTE....seriously...if you’re registered there is no excuse. If you don’t vote you don’t get to complain. (YES, I will be voting)

2) Follow this link to vote for you’re favorite mayoral candidate of Rabbit Hash. My vote has gone for “Higgins.” Sure he’s a jackass but he’s my kind of jackass!

3) Watch this trailer on the movie all about Rabbit Hash’s crazy campaigns.




Go VOTE!!

More Stuff I Forgot or Want to Add On

Ok there are a few things that I didn’t get to or more likely, my brain didn’t process before the posting deadlines. I want to add them here.

Crazy Legs
So while we were walking up to the ball park on Saturday night, I bumped into World Competitive Eating Champ, Crazy Legs Conti. He was on site for a run up to the annual July 4 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest. It was quite an experience. I didn’t get a chance to ask him if I could learn under his expert tutelage but then again I don’t think it would do a diet good.

Pics from Day 1
Here are some assorted pics from Day 1 at Shea.

The view of Citi Field the new ballpark

a few lone holdouts in the rain
Everything in NY has to list calories (400 for the Nathan's Dog)

The Danny Heep Jersey as referenced yesterday. The winner of the most obscure jersey contest

Special Election
Yesterday there was a special election for the Congressional seat vacated by fat Al Wynn. Wynn lost the primary vote a few months back and decided to bail out and stick the taxpayers with the $1 million bill for a special election that will put somebody in Congress for the next 4 months.

In yesterday’s election we were able to choose between a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent, or write in your own candidate. Well guess which one Bloggerman chose? Yep, I received exactly one vote for the US Congress, Maryland, 4^th district. I didn’t win because Mrs. Bloggerman decided to vote against her husband cast a vote for what she dubbed “a real candidate”. I hope all the Gays and Lesbians getting married in California in the upcoming months (Way to go by the way!!!) realize that they are in for exactly this kind of miserable matrimonial bliss. By the way here are the results of the election if you care.