3 Inches, 2 Cells, and 1 Needle

Three Inches of Snow...maybe more. We got our first snow fall of the season on Saturday and it reminds me of certain absolute truths for the winter season. 1) If I wait till the day after the snow falls to shovel my steps and walkway, I will hurt my hands (or other body part) trying to chip through the ice that has formed underneath. 2) 2/3 of the area residents should be banned from driving for the entire season because they can’t figure out how to turn on their headlights in bad weather and how to clear off the snow from the roof of their car so it doesn’t all fall down on me! 3) If I give Mooks the chance to run off leash in the snow I will fall down trying to chase her. Which of course leads me to my next point...


Two Cell Phones (lost)
Cell phone number two was lost on the above mentioned Saturday jaunt with the dog when she decided to break off the trail we were running on and chase a heard of deer. I’m not sure what in her DNA makes here do this. She’s not going to catch them...she is fast, but they are faster. Besides...what would she do if she actually caught one?? Well while I was chasing her I slipped and it was probably then that I lost the second phone in a 48-hr period of time. The first phone was my work blackberry which was most likely recycled on Thursday morning on my way to the office. While I’m not completely sure of it’s fate, chances are high that it made it into the recycling bin at one of the Metro stations where I got out and dumped my morning papers off. I’m very pissed that I did this but I was surprised at the amount of reporting that has to go on to report missing Federal property. Very detailed and precise (I guess this shouldn’t be looked at as a bad thing...our gov’t actually cares about it’s property....nice). Looks like the next one will be forcibly stapled to my hand. Never fear though...I managed to let the nice folks over at Verizon Wireless have $53 of my money for a new phone. I’m supposed to get $50 back in the mail but I’m not holding my breath.

One Needle (after 12 months without)
Thanks to the dunderhead who I had been working with at the Red Cross I had to take a 12 month hiatus from donating blood. It’s something I do every few weeks because 1) it’s the right thing to do and 2) they have regular Coke and Famous Amos cookies for donors! But partially because of her incompetence and partially because of my travel plans (to a so-called “Malaria-Zone” for less then 10 hours) I had to stop donating for the past 12 months. Well yesterday was my first day back in the big comfy lounge chairs and a needle in my arm. It’s funny, I HATE needles and in fact can’t even watch when they put it in but yet I still love donating...go figure. The extra bonus was that I got to watch the first few episodes of First and Ten on DVD. I can’t wait to schedule my next donation so I can finish Season 1!

27 Hours-2 Vans-200 Miles-12 Tired Monkeys

The race is over, I managed to catch up on some sleep, and most of the scaring has faded. All-in-all it was an amazing weekend and certainly an experience I won't soon forget.

Ragnar-The DC edition- took us 199.3 miles from Cumberland, MD to RFK stadium in DC. Posing as the mild-mannered Captain Awesome, I along with my "Big Bag of Monkeys" completed the race in 27 hrs and 33 min.

The race was a 36-leg relay with each team member running 3 of those legs. You can visit the Ragnar DC site to see the course maps. Each team was broken up in two vans (runners 1-6 and 7-12).

The morning for me started early at home with some team captain-y work on the computer nailing down some final logistics. I met the vans, who came up from Virginia, near my place and we packed them tight with decorations, running gear, and enough food to feed several refugee camps for the next 46 years.

After a few potty breaks we arrived in Cumberland and got busy checking in and getting the vans decorated. As you can see from the photos, it looked like a glorified homecoming float, complete with a 6 ft inflatable monkey tied to the back of each van!

At just after 1pm, Sonia took off from the starting line and Captain Awesome and His Big Bag of Monkeys were on our way.

Since I was part of Van 2 (the best one out there IMHO), we were not allowed to park at the exchange points that the Van 1 was using. We found ways around that though and with a few exceptions, and once parking on Department of Homeland Security land, we managed to catch most of the handoffs and even saw some of the runners in the middle of their legs.

As the sun began its decent for Friday evening our Van was getting ready to begin our legs. First up was Jimm and his sick 800+ ft climb into Berkley Springs, WV (oh we also saw Paw Paw, WV which is a real treat...I must remember to add that place to my "never go there alone" list of destinations). Evan took over from there and headed out 40 to the next exchange.

After taking a small wrong turn and getting on I-68, Van 2 found are way and dropped me off for my first leg, a 10.3 mile (the longest single leg of the race) jaunt down a bike path that followed I-68. The path was quite beautiful, I imagine, only I couldn't see that much of it as it was 830pm and the only thing illuminating was the small LED headlamp I was sporting. It was actually very surreal. I was able to judge about 10-15 ft ahead of me at any time but my peripheral vision was completely dark. I think I know what those Clydesdale's with the blinders feel like now. Actually the dark wasn't so bad, but what made this particularly tough was that there really weren't any other runners around. I got passed by one guy and saw his flashing "taillight" in the distance but that was about it for 6 miles. I did manage to catch up to another runner at that point and we hung together to finish the leg. Marianne who other then the use of her Rite-Aide hand sanitizer is the best, greeted me with a cold PBR and one leg was in the books.

We finished the rest of our first legs and handed the baton back to Van 1 at the Hagerstown Speedway. Unfortunately our last runner, James, was the victim of a produce assault when he was hit by a pear thrown from a moving car. Luckily he was ok and continued on. When we arrived, we flopped down with one of our awesome volunteers, Britney, for some well earned s'mores over a charcoal pit fire.

After some debating back and forth we decided to head to the next major exchange point and get a little rest. The exchange point was at a church in Boonsboro, MD and the people working there couldn't have been nicer. They had indoor bathrooms, chicken dinner (we skipped this as it was now 1230 am), and hot coffee. We parked the van with about 70 or so other teams and tried to catch a little sleep. This is where I should point out that the drivers seat of a 12-persin van is not the most comfortable place to get some Z's. What's worse is when you use an inflatable monkey as a pillow. 45 minutes into my sleep I got the call from Van 1 that we were running ahead of time so Jimm had to get up and ready to run his next leg through Funkstown (really disappointed I didn't get a picture here).

After another giant mountain climb for him went well except for the few minutes he got lost. Evan took over and battled up a hill of his own then handed off to me for a downhill 5k stretch into Frederick. 22 minutes and 9 seconds later I handed off to Stig (Christina) and had a new PR to add to my list.

After she took off we were warned by the course wardens that there had been some "sketchy" characters walking around Frederick and we should be alert. Well we checked in on Stig mid run and she was ok but wanted to help Marianne too so I grabbed Jimm's bike and rode with her on her 5 mile trip to Liberty. It was a great run as we saw the sun rise over the farms and almost got run off the road a few times by semis barreling down the road at 55mph.

After James wrapped up his leg we headed into Germantown to get some 630am bagels (this is pronounced with a "hard A" not a "eh" sound for the reference of that van who couldn't pronounce it right!) I introduced a bunch of southerners to what a NY Bagel should taste like. Well ok they were from Northern Virginia and DC but still...they have every right to know a good bagel from a Lenders bagel. We met up with Van 1 and got ready to finish our last legs.

Our first leg (Jimm) went right through our neighborhood so the wife and dog met us and then continued to follow us through the rest of the race. Having Mooks there gave us a bit of a lift which complemented the shot of 5-Hour Energy I popped earlier. I have to think that might have been the key to me flying through my final 7-mile leg. It might have been nice to have some better directional signage as I ran through the Rock Creek Trail in Rockville, Bethesda, and Kensington. Luckily I knew where I was going...I can’t say the same for the 5 other runners I passed.

The rain held off all race until the last three legs. Unfortunately that meant Stig, Marianne, and James got drenched. But before too long, James came bounding around the corner of RFK stadium where we all met him, (with Matt in the Banana Suit and Andreas with the giant inflatable Monkey). We crossed the finish line in a steady downpour. We were wet, tired, sore but Kate’s boyfriend brining us Valentino’s Pizza somehow made it all better.

This was truly an adventure and we are excited to have gone though it. Jimm is working on cutting the team video which I’ll post here along with more pictures in the coming days. Now to catch up on some sleep.

Dogs and Free Food

A mea culpa to start things off. It has been almost a week since my last confession... err posting. In that time I have committed no words to paper but have had many thoughts of sins (of the flesh, tongue, pallet, etc). No matter how many hail marys I throw downfield or how much holly water I ingest at the community pool I will most likely fail to post daily again. In the words of the good book, "Get over it! And now the rest of the story.

Last Wednesday I tried to do the right thing. You know something to balance out all the negative karma I've been amassing lately. On the way into the park with the Mooks, I decided to pick up a bunch of cans, bottles, and other refuge that had found its way out of peoples' cars but not into the proper receptacle. As we approached the park entrance an older man was struggling to maintain control of his two large dogs. Their size was no my concern. What caught my attention was that this guy was using a long thin stick to reinforce his "no's". Well one thing leads to another and he let's go. I let tried to jog Mooks away but tripped and let go of her. He was laying in the road complaining about his shoulder and I got one of the two dogs and tied him to a sign. Then Mooks came over and I got her leashed to the tree. The guy's second dog took off into the neighborhood. I went over to check on this guy and decided to call 911.Well 3 min later the cavalry arrives in the form of 4 squad cars and minutes later a fire engine. TJ Hooker, Jr. steps out of the first car and asks "Who got bit?". I told him it wasn't a bite and he tries to cancel the medical team. He also gets pissy with me when I tell him that in fact we want the medical unit there to check out this guys shoulder. He says, "well if he fell why did you call it in as a bite?". He wasn't even trying to listen when I told him that somebody else must have called in the bite, this guy only fell. The long and foster of the story is that the guy refused medical attention and my attempt to be a good samaritan backfired. The only silver lining to come out of this is that his neighbor came out and was pissed at this guys dogs for running loose again. I gave him the number of animal services. We'll see what happens.

On to the free food. I want to thank the following establishments for providing me sustenance, on the house, these past few days:

Chik-fil-A: dressed like a cow on Friday (national cow appreciation day) and got a free chicken sandwich.

Seven-Eleven: received a free 8oz slurpie just because it was July 11th (7/11).

Lido Pizza by way of the Damascus Volunteer Fire Department: supplied plenty of slices for those of us who were volunteering at their open house.

Cheeburger, Cheeburger by way of the Reiches and the Boigs: As part of the great burger challenge, I successfully polished off a burger of their creation (1lb of meat, bun, portabella mushrooms, relish, onion, jalapeño peppers, tobacco sauce, peanut butter, blue cheese, guacamole, whipped cream, and grenadine). Kicker here: I finished it before Santiago or Jason got through their untopped 1/3 pounders! Take that GI track!

McDonalds: for their delicious McCafe caramel mocha this morning as part of their "Free Mocha Mondays" promotion.

Four Hours? Yeah Right and Got Headphones?

Four Hours to run a marathon? Yeah right. Four hours, you can kiss my grits! I just got back from (surprisingly scenic) Wilmington, Delaware where I kicked the ass of the Christiana Healthcare Delaware Marathon (the only marathon held in the state of Delaware) in a mind numbing three hours and fifty-two minutes. Sure it was raining, windy and when I finished I had blood on my shirt in the vicinity of my right nipple but I pushed through all that and just kept running. And do you know what the best part is? Go ahead…ask. Ok, I’ll tell you. The best part is that I was starving right afterward and gorged on ice cream sandwiches, pizza, and “no juice” added fruit punch. Actually the best part was the Mooks and the Wife cheering me on along the way. There’s nothing like a dog’s kiss to keep you going from mile to mile. Thanks!

The second part of today’s post. Spend $20 and get a decent pair of headphones! You…by the doors to the train today….I don’t want to hear your music! You can spend hundreds of dollars on an iPod and hundreds of more dollars on crappy music downloads but you can spend twenty bucks and get some ear buds that don’t require me to hear every word and every note of the latest Rihiana track being pumped into your eardrums? Look I recently needed a pair for my MP3 and went over to Best Buy. I spent twenty bucks and got a pair of Sonys. I can turn the volume up to 20 and not hear a thing when their not in my ears. Hummm? Look I don’t bother you with my crap and you don’t bother me with yours. Deal?

Quality TV Time Tonight

Not much to report today. I have some quality TV time planned with the Mooks tonight as our NY Jets take on the hated Patriots on Thursday night football. I’m very excited about this game as it has the potential to make or break the AFC eastern division.

For the record I’m not a fan of Thursday Night football or even Saturday Football that we see on the last few weeks of the season. There should be only one day a year that Pro Football is played on Thursday and that’s Thanksgiving. Furthermore on turkey day we should only have two games. Between the three games they went to last year and all that tryptophan it’s just too much stuffing!

ARGH....Me Ship Has Gone to the Dogs

Ok I don’t own a ship....we all know that. But today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day so I feel that we at least owe it some pub.

But speaking of dogs I want to share two items for you:

1) a cute cartoon I came across today.

2) Some advice from Miss Manners:

Dear Miss Manners:

I raise guide dogs and I love it. We talk to the public and educate many on the kind of work the dogs do.

While I love talking to people about our precious puppies, I do not know how to respond when someone comes up in a high-pitched voice and says -- no, squeals -- "Oh my gosh, what a cute puppy. How old are you? What's your name?"

While I realize the sight of a dog is quite rare, I mean, so few people ever get to see one, how should I respond?

I usually just say, "Oh, this is Fido and he is 10 months old," but I would really like to let them know that they are quite possibly the most irritating people on the face of the planet. Should I say something sarcastic like "Oh, sorry, I haven't taught him to speak English yet"? Any help would be appreciated.

Dear [Writer] Some crucial advice:

Do not have a baby. Do not ever even be seen with anyone else's baby. People talk baby talk to babies. No doubt this is because they have never seen one before.

Or possibly it is just that many people go all soft when they see a creature that is young and cute. Miss Manners considers that nature's way of protecting life before it is toilet-trained.

So please do not snarl at your puppies' admirers. In addition to being rude, it sets them a bad example.

If you get tired of answering for them, she will allow you to say (if you can keep the sarcasm out of your voice), "Fido! The lady asked you a question!"

3) another cute picture of the Mooks:

Mookie Gets Wet

Ewwww...not that way! You're sick. Do you actually think I would allow my dog to lick herself until she was dripping wet??? Sick, sick, sick. Nope...The Pup a Lup took the "plunge" at Quiet Waters Dog Beach in Annapolis. Make sure to play the movie at the end of this post!

My Niece is a Germ Carrier

This is not to mention that she’s also very dainty and lady like (first time ever) when it came time to eat her first birthday cake. Instead of pulling a “Me” and smashing her head right into the cake (Mom, you can attest to this one!), she took small handfuls and “sampled” the icing. Alton Brown

would be proud to see that even at one-year old she’s mastered the “cake as an icing delivery system” concept.

We had a great time in the ATL this weekend and Bloggerman even got his first experience running the world famous “Peachtree Road Race.” This 10k runs through downtown Atlanta and as Mrs. Bloggerman said, “If it wasn’t for the start and the finish the race would have been great.” Note to the Atlanta Track Club: Either give everybody a timing chip or don’t time anybody. I thought it took a lot of nerve for the organizers of this 57,000+ runner race to announce the “winners” before our wave of runners made it to the starting line. I would point out that while it’s not likely, somebody from the later groups could have placed or even won the race (net time). But as the locals say you run it for the T-shirt. Well the T-shirt was the worst choice of the 5 designs voted on. Never fear though…Bloggerman is resourceful and it only took a few minutes after crossing the finish line that I was able to swap shirts with a volunteer. Their “race team” shirts were more along the lines of what I thought the race shirt should look like. Special thanks go out to the in-laws for housing/feeding us this weekend, to the Boigs for watching the Mookster and an extra special thanks to the folks at Moe’s at Terminal C of Hartsfield-Jackson Airport for staying open long enough for us to grab a quick snack before our flight out late Saturday. They know that the way to my stomach is through my mouth. Yeah...you heard me!

Speaking of Food….My Knish is soggy. Truth be told make it a combo. For those of you who want closure from the Wendy’s fiasco of last week…you can now rest easy. The district manager at DaveCo Restaurants wrote me a personal letter to apologize for my experience at the drive thru and to “make it right” he sent me two coupons, each good for a combo meal. I’ll forget for the record that this whole thing started out because I didn’t want the combo when I ordered and say that I appreciate not only their quick response but that they genuinely seem to want to keep me as a customer. I’ll be back but next time I’ll go up to the counter to order

Wendy’s, Woods, and (W)idiots

“Idiots” doesn’t have a W but I needed to add a silent one to keep everything moving right along. Time for quick weekend update. Most of the weekend was spent down at Bull Run camping. I won’t go into the full details because the wonderful folks over at Mighty Baby Boig Please read their recap with interest. have already done so. I want to focus on 2 weekend specific events and a discovery I made today.

I hate the drive thru (Sonic excluded). Not only do you have to talk to the box and hope that they understood you but it usually takes twice as long to get your order as opposed to walking in the front door and looking at a cashier face to face. This way you not only can take your sweet time (nobody honking behind you or giving you the “You’re the number 1 driver in my book” sign) deciding on what kind of caloric laced feast you will partake in that day but also make sure they get it completely correct before walking away and enjoying. This happens to be the lead off topic today because on Saturday we stopped off at Wendy’s on the way to the campsite. Here’s the scene:

(We pull up to the order board…)

Order Taker: would you like combo?

Me: No thanks. Let me have a single [burger] no tomatoes and no cheese

Order Taker: Combo?

Me: NO! No combo. Let me also get another single no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: You want combo?

Me: No! I don’t want a freakin combo…give me 2 singles both no tomatoes and no cheese and a medium iced tea.

Order Taker: Ok pull up…total is five forty-one.

(We pull to the first/cashier’s window…)

Cashier: Seven sixty-one please

Me: No the order taker said five forty-one

Cashier: No, you had 2 singles and a drink…seven sixty one

Me: Are you sure because both my wife and I heard five forty-one.

Cashier: You must have heard wrong…it’s seven sixty one.

Me: I heard wrong!? Let me speak to a manager

Cashier: I am Manager

(BTW: Every time I leave out “The” from this dialogue, it’s because that word was not used by the Wendy’s staff…wonderful mastery of the English language)

Me: Give me my food and a receipt.

End of the story (for now is that I filed a complaint with Wendy’s corporate and we’ll see where it goes from there. Although we are both sure they spit in the burgers!)

The woods were very nice and via a number of circumstances both me and Mr. Boig now have matching Wall Mart $5 sandals and I learned that Mook-a-Lok is good with water as long as she can stand in it AND that Coors Light and a bagel with cream cheese don’t go well together (at least first thing in the morning.)

Lastly on to my discovery of this morning. For some unknown reason I was searching the word “idiot” on the world wide interweb and hit upon our friends at Wikipedia. Did you know there are seven US states where an “idiot” cannot vote? Special props go to the legislators (either former or current) in the following states for helping with Natural Selection

• Arkansas
• Kentucky
• Mississippi
• New Mexico
• Ohio
• California
• Iowa

Now if we could just declare voters who go to the polls because their clergy tell them to and vote based on “moral values” could be added to the “idiot” pool we’d all be a lot better off.

New Beer in the Fridge and Dogs at the Park

Surprisingly enough not the “hot” variety although with a lack of shade Hunter and the Mooks were fairly warm. They kept cool with water and shade under our seats as well as with walks every inning or so into the concessions area.

This past Sunday we took the two mutts down to “Dog Days” at a local minor league park. Mooks of course made friends right away with one of the visiting team’s pitchers who even gave her a ball which quickly found it’s way into her jaws!

Surprisingly all the fans were really good about the dogs being down in the field box with us and they all looked after them when we got a bit overwhelmed.

Photo ops abounded as you can see from our little collage, as we found time with each other, other pooches, the mascot (Uncle Slam) and even Hunter with the Hooter’s Girls! He has been spending way too much time with Crazy Uncle Bloggerman and his Daddy!

By the end of the day the excitement, heat, and car ride was enough to put both puppies out for the better part of the evening. This lead to a nice dinner with our friends and their relations who had stopped by. At said dinner we got to try the newest product from the Budweiser family, Bud Light Lime. It’s billed as BL with a touch of lime.

Before you say “Ewww!”, think of a Corona without tasting like Corona (ass). It’s smooth, cool, easy drinking, and went great with the Mexican/Salvadorian fiesta we enjoyed that evening. With this said, I only recommend BLL during summer months as it may be too light during the winter.

This is Bloggerman and this has been your beer review.

Doggin It, A Headset…cool, or not, and Spike’s DC Digs

Yeah I know I don’t talk bad about the Mooks much but she was so lazy yesterday. Sure she ran with Mrs. Bloggerman in the morning and then ran with Bloggerman at night, but she slept at least 8 hours in between those two events so what’s up with that?

I think she’s doggin it, excuse the pun, on purpose to make us give her more treats. Well it’s not going to work miss thing!

Yesterday when I got home there was a package at my door with my name on it. I wasn’t expecting anything so it was a bit of a head scratcher. Upon inspection it was a headset similar to the style that NFL head coaches wear on the sidelines. Only this wasn’t for me to be a coach but plugs into my Play Station 2 controller and allows me to hear and talk to others. Evidently I placed second in a Motorola-sponsored contest. OK I guess I did. Only one problem: I don’t own a Play Station 2.

It was really nice of them to send this to me but since they also sent them out in Xbox compatible form, perhaps it might have been better to check which system I have. Furthermore, PS2 (nor Xbox) is really the standard anymore so why not make them for PS3/360? Seems like a pretty crappy contest to me but at least it’s going to go to a good cause. After I open the box and put them on the Mooks for a picture (coming soon) I will donate them for a charity auction for my softball team. So there Motorola…take your prize and well…donate it!

Lastly, I’ve gotten into TopChef-Chicago on Bravo as of late to fill my Project Runway gap and one of the more charismatic characters, Spike Mendelsohn, is opening a new “burger joint” here in town. The place is called Good Stuff Eatery and will be setting up shop at 3^rd and Pennsylvania, SE (Capitol Hill). Any place that can blend up a Marshmallow shake is good enough for me.

POTUS, Pets, and Passports

We should have seen this coming. Eight years ago when Bush and Gore were vying for the Presidency, we should have seen this coming. We should have known that every cravat of their lives and those of every other candidate in the future would be probe, prodded, licked, and sucked until a good story comes of it.

The latest comes as a report from the State Department yesterday that Barrak Obama’s passport file was “looked” at three different times by three different people over the last few months. The bulk of the story can be read in the Washington Post, and I really don’t want to delve into the facts too much, but rather I want to focus on what was gleaned from his records.

I don’t know what would be in my “passport file” other then the basics (name, address, dob, ssn, etc.) and the places I’ve traveled. I wonder if Senator Obama has been to the Bahamas or Fiji anytime recently, or if he took a quick jaunt up to Canada last summer to get some R&R?

Really I could care less! What I want to know is do Obama or McCain have pets? I exclude Hillary from this because we know about Socks the Cat (is he still alive?) and Bill’s dog, Buddy. But do Barak and John have pets? Are they pets that are representative of the leader of the free world? I wish somebody had asked this of Bush before the election in 2000.

Even though there are a good amount of Americans (a little over 50%) of them who think that Bush really didn’t win the election of 2000, I think that it wouldn’t have been as close as it was if voters knew and thought about Bush’s choice in pets. A small fu-fu dog (“dinner” as the Mooks likes to call them) is not a pet for a president who so closely resembles Yosemite Sam. Surely Karl Rove or another advisor would have seen this coming…Bush walking solemnly on the West Lawn of the White House with this small ball of hair in tow. I don’t want to go to the other end and say he should have a German Sheppard or a Pit Bull, but certainly a Retriever or Boxer or something would be better.

To close, if we are going to evaluate every word the candidates speak, analyze every person they’ve ever met at a cocktail party, and dig for every bit of dirt that might make a good headline and sell a few more papers, then we should also take the time to evaluate their pets and make sure they properly represent the good ole’ US of A.

One Year with our Dog

I wanted to commemorate the Mooks one year anniversary at her place of residence. When we went to the adoption fair last March, we had no idea she would have become a part (indispensable at that) of our lives.

When we went down to look at “Maggie” and had such a negative experience with her, we figured we were going to go away empty handed and go back to the internet to look at new family members, but in the next crate was that blue-eyed beauty, “Obi”.

Fast forward one year, a new sofa, and loads of stuffed animals (some still with their heads intact) and we couldn’t imagine life without her.

I do want to complain that as of late I haven’t been able to sleep with my legs straight out as she has taken to curling up in a ball at roughly knee-height forcing me to also curl up into a ball. Good for a 41 pound dog, not good for a 164 pound human.

Oh that reminds me…down to 164 (22 total weight loss since starting the “plan” and 32 since Mrs. Blogger started).

My Teeth Hurt and Spreading the Word

I went to the dentist today, got a cleaning, and now they hurt. The thing about it is that it's not one particular tooth that hurts, but rather that they all hurt. There's nothing much you can do for me but I wanted to share with you.

Also of interest in this dentist's office is the poster in the exam room I was in. He (or somebody on his staff) has thoughtfully placed it on the ceiling in direct view of the chair when tilted back. I like the way he thinks. There is nothing more painful then being poked and prodded with sharp instruments in a Steve Martin kind of way and having to look up at ceiling tiles or even worse, unpainted dry wall.

Last night was Halloween and the Mooks and I were home to hand out candy to the little childrens who came by. Unfortunately they were all with parents so we couldn't drag them in to the house and make them weave rugs in the basement for profit (I kid....if you took that seriously, get out). But I recently read about a tradition that I was unaware of until now. It seems that some of our Christian brothers and sisters who don't like the "Satan worship" portion of the night will not take part. I don't have issue with that because if you want to be a spoil sport then go ahead (and move while you're at it). But what really got me was this blog entry which came up on an unrelated search. Evidently instead of "boycotting" the holiday these folks think it's a good idea to spread the word.

Let me share something with you. Give me candy or prepare to have your house egged! Furthermore, Jesus doesn't love you nor does G-d want you to spread his message by handing out pamphlets to little impressionable children. And if and when I'm lucky enough to bring a child into this world and raise them, if they ever come home with one of these in their bag, I will come to your house, knock on the door, and then go on to list all of the sins you have committed over the past year and recount for you all of the reasons you should be taken up to the roof and thrown off.

That's a little dark but so is the bottom of my empty coffee cup.