Sign of the Times and Picking The Hoarders Dry

Much like the elusive thirteenth floor in a hotel I am having trouble finding signs that reflect reality. Or at least the reality as I see it.

For example, today as I was on my morning run around DC, I ran through a Capitol Hill park where I saw a sign that said “Pick Up After Your Pet”. Fine…..I can appreciate that. Nobody wants to step in poop when just walking down the street. But the picture was of a dog squatting over the sidewalk and a guy bending down to grab it. Fine, we all get it. Dogs are the primary poopers of our fair park. But what about the few odd cats who go out for walks? How come they aren’t on the sign? Or the potbelly pig owner, where is their sign? Well I’m never one to point out a problem and not provide a solution. I think, in the name of inclusion that we should have a much longer sign with all the different pets pictured so that owners of non-dogs are aware that the law applies to them as well. Sure it could run the entire length of the park (especially if we include the fish and the frogs) but isn’t it worth it to know that everybody is aware of the policy!

I also want to share my idea for a great TV Mash-up/Crossover/Spin-off. What if the people from American Pickers and Storage Wars came over to the houses in Hoarders and started perusing all the “junk”? I think this may be “gold”. Sure, most of the stuff is really junk but I think you might find a valuable antique or two or at least some stuff that the storage locker guys can sell in their second hand shops. How do I keep coming up with this stuff?

Hoarders and The Purple Hoard

Hoarding can be a disgusting disease. While many of us are pack rats and save lots of stuff that really don’t need, Hoarders actually have a disease and don’t recognize what they are doing until it’s usually too late. A&E networks has decided to pick up a series that features these hoarders as they go through an intervention (clean up this place or else you’ll be kicked out/loose your kids/go to Santa Rose Mental Institution).

I think this is a very interesting topic but I’m not sure I agree with the way the producers of the show are handling it. For instance, in the last show there were two “cases” featured. In each a professional organizational crew and trash haulers came to each house and helped get rid of what didn’t belong or had to go (rotting food...a detached deck) but in only one case did a Doctor go along to assess the mental well being of the horder(s). It would seem if you’re trying to get people to who are sick to get better, then every “crew” would have a doctor attached.

Furthermore at the end of the episode, only a brief 2-3 line follow up was shown on the screen. When you go to the website (see link above) there is no further information to see if the people featured are currently enrolled in some sort of program or therapy to address their condition. If not then they are more likely to go back to their hoarding ways. It seems to me that if you’ve invested time in the show as a viewer then we deserve some more wrap up that either Bob has gone to therapy and now lives hoard free or Bob has slipped back into his ways and is now throwing cats at neighborhood children if they get too close to his property.

The Purple Hoard (aka the Minnesota Vikings) have seen fit to sign older then dirt quarterback Brett Favre to a 2 year contract. The thing here is not that Favre can’t still play, because if the first half of last year was any indication with my Jets he can still wing that pigskin around the field. The problem that has formed is that his “word” is no longer bond. For all the greatness and success he has enjoyed over his storied NFL career, perhaps the thing he is becoming most known for is being a lying sack of dog excrement. He has “retired” and “unretired” so much in the past few years you’d think that he actually needed the money. What, are those guys at Wrangler not paying you enough to wear their jeans? The best thing that can happen is that Favre gets trampled during his upcoming preseason game this Friday and is knocked out for the season. Now that would be funny!