Another Reason Why the AKC Doesn’t Get It

The University of Georgia’s Uga (in his many incarnations) didn’t make the list? Are you freakin’ kidding me?!?!? It turns out the American Kennel Club didn’t see it that way, naming Reveille (pictured) from Texas A&M the #2 dog on their “Top 10 Dogs in Pop Culture” list.

Just to recap...you took a border collie which according to sources was named “a Five-Star General” that nobody has ever heard of outside of the state of Texas and ranked her over Uga...the loveable cute bulldog who everybody looks for each week Georgia plays on TV??? Hell you didn’t even rank Uga in the top 10!!

I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that the group who almost single handedly does the most harm to dogs in America by inciting rich, white, snooty, WASPs to breed dogs instead of rescuing the millions of animals in shelters who through no fault of their own will be killed because your members won’t adopt them because they can’t “show”. Great...I hope somebody euthanizes you tonight. Either that or you get ball cancer!

That’s mean. I take it back. I hope you get a giant growth off of your sack that is very painful and hideously disfiguring!

Merry X-mas!

My Trip to Deliverance

When you hear those banjos strumming in battle formation as Burt Reynolds, Jon Voight, and Ned Betty (actually also Ronny Cox but nobody remembers him anyway) go a paddalin' down the river you might get the idea that folks in Georgia might be a little backwards. Heck, you might even get that idea watching Roscoe and Enos chase down them Duke Boys. Well I'm here to tell you that even 80's pop culture rings true today. But more on that later.

We'll start with Metro's bright idea to close the airport stop over Labor Day weekend for maintenance. I understand the urgency to get things done but somebody in the common sense department needs to approve these things first. Due to that poor planning I left the house at 6am on Friday morning in the attempt to board an 8pm flight. When I got to the economy lot, it was just as crowded as I thought and by 10am there were less then 100 spaces left. Parking space, check then off to work.

Once me and the Misses met back up at DCA that night we were all set to start our adventure toward the north Georgia mountains. At the gate we learned that the flight was over sold and they wanted "volunteers" to give up their seats. Since we didn't have to meet up at the cabin until the next morning, we offered. Delta was giving $600 in credit plus a first class seat on the 6am flight on Saturday. We were all set and even began planning what to do with all that credit when they informed us they would only need one person. After a little debate we decided not to split up and hopped on board.

George Carlin did a bit about garbage you deal with on board an airplane, most notably the announcements. His thoughts still ring true today when Captain Scott (or Steve... I don't remember which) told us how great it was that it took less then the normal 24 minutes to push off the gate. Yippy! I started to applaud because it was the only logical thing I could think of. My travel companion was not pleased.

After landing we found the only cab driver in North America who a) didn't know where East Atlanta is and b) didn't have a GPS to show him. But we finally made it to Dave and Stacey's, raided their fridge, and even got in the front 9 on Tiger Woods '10.

Nothing like a two-hour drive at 6am to get the blood flowing and nothing like taking a pit stop at a rural GA gas station where they not only sell condoms in the men’s room (seriously??) but also porn out of the same dispenser. Now that's efficient!

We surprised my MIL when we strolled in and were promptly treated to left over breakfast (but the coffee was hot). We had lots of fun over the two days up there including a trip to the apple orchard and Babyland General Hospital (where Cabbage Patch Kids are born). Actually on this last matter, let the record show that the men folk didn't go in but rather dropped the women off and went to clean out the car and scout a BBQ joint for lunch.

But easily the two highlights of the trip (other then getting a ton of smiles and laughs from my niece and my mistress-not the same person mind you) was OG and the food.

On Sunday I went for a run (crossing into North Carolina 4 times in 12 miles) and on the back end of that run a dog came out from a yard into the street. She came right up to me and liked what she was sniffing. I noticed she lacked a collar/tags but I didn't want to leave her in the street to get hit so I tried to take her back onto the yard she came out of. She followed me, sat but when I took off to run, she followed suit. I figured she would run with me for a few feet and then go home but she stayed with me for the remaining 3-4 miles. When we got back to the cabin I got some bowls of water and food (turkey and carrots) and fed OG - short for Orton (the street I found her on) Girl - she wolfed down the food and looked pretty happy as in this video:

Alas she took off after that and we didn't see her again (insert frowny face emoticon here). I had a feeling her and The Mooks would have been fast friends.

I finish this post with a partial list of foods consumed between Friday Night and Monday Afternoon:

Texvmex Wrap
Hot Cocoa ice cream
Bagels, cream cheese and lox
Chicken salad sandwich
Lots o' apples
Steak
Crabcakes
Asparagus
Corn on the cob
Birthday cake
Cookies
Pancakes
Pulled pork sandwich
Onion loaf
Fried apple pie
Peanut brittle pop corn
Chili
Smores
Omelet (featuring cream cheese, lox, crab meat)
Sliders
Sweet potato fries
5 varieties of hot wings
And because I'm watching my figure... Diet coke and a MGD 64

Let the Detox begin now

Thanksgiving, ACT 1: The Snippy Cashier at the Wild Flower Bakery

Tuesday. Our trip starts off in the dark, pre-dawn hours of 6am as we loaded up the car and pushed off from Maryland. 6:09am ET was the actual time, but like the airlines, we are "on-time" as long as we have the passengers (wife and dog) out of the gate (front door) by the stated departure time.

We decided not to risk the I-95 corridor on this trip and took the "back roads" of I-66, I-81, I-40 and, I-75 on in to Marietta. The traffic was light, the weather was steady and we made good time, stopping in Manassas and Abingdon, VA for gas (The E was pushing about 27 mpg which is just above it's 26mpg rating).

During the stop at Abingdon, we had lunch at the Subway at the gas station but upon exiting noticed that there was a charming little bakery/cafe across the street, just before the highway on-ramp. We decided to tickle our sweet tooths and stopped in. There selection was small but fresh and we picked out a turkey-shaped cookie with some really yummy icing. Being a small place they only took cash but I didn't have any on me so the wife had to go back to the car and get her wallet. While she was out, I was making small talk with the cashier (I think she was also the owner) who was nice enough. The wife came back in and paid ($1.05 w/tax) and when I asked the cashier if they were open on Sunday because we were going to be back through town she said "No. We're CLOSED on Sundays!"

If it were really busy and we were holding up a huge line waiting to pay then I might understand. Or if she had a large dog gnaughing at her ankle, I might understand. But here I was just being nice and saying that I'd like to give you more business and she bites my head off. Well needless to say I bit the cookie's head off instead and vowed never to go back. As it turns out the cookie was really good so I might have to lift that life time ban on my business if I ever pass through again (not on a Sunday though!)

Clayton County, Georgia Stirkes Again

Can they be this stupid down there? I know it's a rhetorical question and those of us outside of Gooberville, USA (this term btw doesn't apply to the rest of the Metro Atlanta area evidently) would think that the water company fiasco by Brother-In-Law was caught up in would be enough to make even the Duke boys blush.

But this cesspool of a county can't even pull their heads out of the dark and warm crevasse they are currently up to stop more people from realizing that the politicians and county leaders they elected are also inbreds and incapable of making a common-sense judgement.

Case in point: a snippet from the AP in today's Examiner:

Warden wants satellite TV to watch Monday Night Football
ATLANTA – The warden of the Clayton County Correctional Institution wants permission to spend money for a “management tool,” satellite TV to keep his 226 inmates occupied watching football.

Warden Frank Taylor is asking the Clayton County Commission to let him sign up for direct-broadcast satellite service for less than $100 a month. It would be funded with money collected at the prison’s commissary and pay phones. “The reason is ‘Monday Night Football’ is now on cable,” he said. “Although it might seem funny, when you have 90 percent of inmates watching something, it is a management tool or the institution.” – AP

Well excuse me Warden. I don't want the inmates WHO HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF CRIMES to be inconvenienced and maybe miss a MNF game. I mean they might riot if they are not allowed to stare longingly into Tony Kornheiser's eyes or orange dome. Oh and think of the shankings and forced sodomies if they miss Suzzy Kolber's insightful interviews of Joe Namith or some other drunk ex-player on the sidelines. Oh the humanity and Won't somebody think of the children!

Maybe I don't understand the situation. Oh wait, yes I do. They are inmates and are spending time in jail to be punished. They don't get Direct TV or Cable or Anything for that matter. They should be locked in their cells 20 hours a day and let out 3 hours a day for meals and 1 hour a day to shower. That's it. That's the List. To think that this dope, Frank Taylor, would have the balls to say, "Well it wouldn't cost much and we can take the money from our commissary sales (about $41,000 last year, give or take)" is outrageous. Perhaps the people of Clayton County might want some of that money. After all isn't the jail itself and the prisoners care paid for by tax dollars. Oh let's not take that money and put it into the schools or the roads or the WATER SYSTEM. Let's instead spend some of it to make our "guests" (prisoners) lives more comfortable.

We wouldn't want them to be inconvenienced by missing their favorite game. Which game on the schedule can they not live without? Is it this weeks match up of Tennessee at Denver which feature teams that have a number of current and soon to be convicts like Adam "Pacman" Jones and Travis "Smoke 'em if you got 'em" Henry. Or is it next week's battle of the winless Miami Dolphins vs. the Pittsburgh Steelers (I can't say anything bad about them because many of their players are on my fantasy team!). Oh I know, the "involuntary guests" (prisoners) must be chomping at the bit at the thought of missing the Week 14 matchup of the New Orleans Saints and their own Atlanta Falcons. Too bad your boy Mike "Mad Dog" Vick won't be suiting up for that one boys.

The citizens of Clayton County should storm the jail today and sting the warden up by his toes and hang him over the side of the building and then they should go into the prison and remove all modern conveniences and let these convicts really be punished. OR you could do your civic duty and call, write, or e-mail the Clayton County Chariman, Eldrin Bell to air your feelings. Don't worry if your not a constituent. Just say you are, they never check.

Address: 2600 Creek Indian Trail, Jonesboro, GA 30236
Home Phone: 770.960.7126
Work Phone: 770.472.8122
e-mail: eldrin.bell@co.clayton.ga.us

Happy Trails!