Who are you “Anonymous”?

Who are you “Anonymous”? You left the following comment on this site for the Sean Taylor post from way back from last November:

Anonymous said...

Talk like that will get you killed around here homie. Your cracker ass isnt even worthy to speak the name of the Great Sean Taylor. The hardest and most feared tackler in the history of the NFL. Str8 cut your throat homo.

Uh....yeah...Mr. (I hope) Anonymous...first, how do get off getting all upset when you are first commenting on a post that was up for almost a year? Second, are you on the LGPA because English clearly isn’t working for you. Now if I could just figure out what league mandates Ebonics (and poorly spoken at that) I might know who you are.

Wait...I have a better idea...good old Google Analytics tells me where the people who have visited this site are located, geographically speaking. You commented on Sunday, August 24^th. The weekends are usually a slow day here at Nobody Likes a Jerk so only 5 people visited on that day 1 in the UK and 4 in the US (1 each in Arizona, Georgia, New York, and Virginia). Since you commented you must have been on the site for at least a minute or two so let me look at the usage times....well what do you know...only the visitor from Fairfax, Virginia was on for more then a few seconds. So that must be where you came in from. Now I know based on your typing that you’re not smart enough to hold a job that will allow you to afford a home in Fairfax so you must either work there (maybe as a disgruntled lettuce washer at the McDonald’s on Route 7 over by the mall) or you are just passing through (are you the guy who was getting his pimped-out Geo Metro hosed down at the carwash?).

Furthermore, you said “Talk like that will get you killed around here...” Is there that much “straight up” violence in Fairfax? At last I heard they had some problems with a shoplifter or some rowdy teen hooligans riding their skateboards in a “no loitering” area. I didn’t realize that there were killa, gangasta, hard-core G’s there. Cool! Can I rent you out for kids’ birthday parties?

Secondly, you refer to Mr. Taylor as, The hardest and most feared tackler in the history of the NFL.”. Um again, he played only 4 seasons, and to be more accurate 3 seasons and part of the 4^th before he was murdered. How can he be the most ferocious hitter in all of the NFL (100+ years) if he barely played? He WAS a hard hitter but not the hardest ever and even he would tell you that. We don’t call Bo Jackson the best running back ever because ....he wasn’t! He was probably the best of his playing time but not the best ever....come on!

I will find out who you are but in the meantime I want the rest of my readers to see just how strong your masterment of the English language is.