What to Knives, Black and White Cookies, and Krazy Kristians Have in Common?

They are all themes on today’s Nobody Likes a Jerk. Remember to listen to the extended version below.

Ever wonder what to get for the not-so-significant other, backstabbing friend, or the boss who never has a good word for you? How about a gift with a little humor behind it. Today on WikiHow, you can “find gifts for people who bug you.” Take a look at the whole list, but my personal favorite:

Give a sexy lingerie set to the prim and proper daughter-in-law who is driving you crazy with her perfectness. She'll be embarrassed at what possible thoughts are going through your head about her relations with your son!

Duff is the man...no doubt, but how are his black and white cookies? (As he puts it “a staple of Jewish-American food.”) Well I haven’t made them yet but take a look at the video and see if he’s also the Ace of Cookies. For me (and most of you) the challenge comes down to which side to you eat first? If you’re a “pale skin” and you lead with the white side then you could be considered a racist but if you lead with the black side you could be considered “untrue” to the race. Or you could pull the ever popular 50/50 mulatto bite. I’m really not a fan of this one because it seems to me that you’re just not decisive enough to pick a side and live with the consequences.

The Krazy Kristians are back, this time down in Gainesville, FL. It seems the brothers of a small fraternity (Beta Upsilon Chi or Brothers in Christ) only allow members who pledge their Christian faith. On its face that’s fine...it’s the South and many houses that have anti-discrimination clauses in their national rules, just ignore them and pretend it’s still 1845. These guys are different though. They want the University of Florida to recognize them as an official student organization, granting them the right to qualify for student activities funds, get meeting space in university buildings, and promote their “cause” on campus. UF officials, wisely, say...uh-uh....we get STATE funds and don’t want to jeopardize them over a group of cross-up-the-ass frat boys who think that their belief structure is better then everybody else. In fact if you really think about this it sounds like the Idiot Izlams just less the 40 virgins.