Monday, February 16, 2009

The Morton's and Hurley's Got a Blog

Just like “The Google” or “The USA Today” we now have “Mortons the Steakhouse”. Are we really reduced to that point in our collective dumbing down process that we need to be told that Morton’s is in fact “the steakhouse”? Are there other Morton’s around that may not serve charred cow? Is there a Morton’s the Auto Parts Store down the street or Morton’s the Perodontist in the same town? See my point.

I would be completely fine with them calling it “the steakhouse” if there were other business in town that you might get confused with and especially if those other businesses were restaurants. I mean you couldn’t very well have two places in town with the name Morton’s if one were the steakhouse of fame and the other were say, a vegetarian chinese establishment could you? That just wouldn’t be right. No it would not.

Because I passed Morton’s (the steakhouse) during a rather long run this past Saturday, it got me thinking that they call it “The Steakhouse” because well, they serve steak there. But a look at the menu also shows a pension for fish, chicken, and even veggies. So is “the steakhouse” really an appropriate moniker considering all the other types of food they serve? I would understand if all they served were steak and perhaps a vegetarian option. In fact I imagine it might go like this:

Scene: a dimly lit, cozy, corner booth in Morton’s The Steakhouse. Dinner Time.
Waiter: What would you like to eat tonight?
Patron 1: What do you have on the menu?
Waiter: Well, we have our famous steaks and our vegetarian option
Patron 1: I’ll have a steak, medium
Patron 2: Well I don’t want a steak so I’ll have the vegetarian option.
Waiter: Very good, I’ll be back soon
About 20 minutes pass and the waiter comes back with the food
Patron 1: Oh this smells delicious
Patron 2: What the #$@#$#@$! This isn’t vegetarian, it’s a whole chicken. And it’s not cooked. In fact it’s not even plucked.
Waiter: Yes sir, that’s our vegetarian special. One entire chicken. And we don’t even kill them because we here at Morton’s The Steakhouse understand how important it is for you people to know that the animal you’re about to eat has not suffered any pain.
Patron 2: Yeah but it’s a raw chicken, how can I eat this?
Patron 1: Damn this is a good steak...look how nicely marbled it is!
Waiter: If you’d like I can bring you some steak sauce or ketchup perhaps. It might help moisten up those feathers.

Ok you get the was a long run and I had a while to think about this.

To end this episode I want to point out another Blog of Note that has made it to my sidebar. Jorge Garcia (Hugo “Hurley” Reyes on ABC’s Lost) has his own blog, “Dispatches From the Island” that I’m going to begin checking out. I stumbled upon it when I learned that my man Duff had made the Lost 100th Episode Cake...take a look at the pics...very cool!

Until next time loyal viewers happy eating (steaks, cakes, or otherwise)!

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