See Its Not Just Me...

...my brother-in-law has the same general sense of frustration with the general public as I do. Well with the public utilities anyway. Here's what he sent to me today...

I hate Clayton County water authority.

They never sent us a bill until today, fine, we don’t use any water. Oh but there is a late fee because they say they mailed out an invoice in October, too bad you did not receive it we have your mailing address as… Yes that is correct, no I can not waive the fee. Ok its just 3.75 what is this storm water rate of $3.75, oh that is for maintenance on the sewage system broken down to each customer, no it is not optional everyone pays it. Ok on the bill it says that my meter reading previous is 648 and currently is 648 for a usage of zero. Why am I getting billed $12.96? That is the minimum payment regardless if you use nothing or up to 3000 gallons. Sorry but if you want water service this is the fee. Is there anything else I can do for you today? Yes find other ways to swindle me out of money for not using the service and conserving water. AAGGGHHH!!!

So first off, kudos to Dave for telling it how it is and second I want you all to call the Clayton County Water Authority [(770) 961-2130] and ask to speak with the person in charge of the paper clips. When the operator tells you either a) I don't understand or b) there's nobody here like that, insist that there is and that the operator is part of the "giant cover up to hide the fact that the Water Authority is stealing paperclips from people who use them to attach a check to their bills." Be really emphatic about that last part and tell them that you've had 4 paperclips not returned to you by their offices in the last 5 months and you want them back. When they ask for your name tell them you are Mayor Adam West of Qualhog (pronounced Quo-hog), Rhode Island.

By making trouble for others you are making the men who married Eagle women very happy.

You have your orders now get to it!