Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wheeled Bags, Menace or Deathtrap? I've Decided

From time to time something I observe aggravates me to the point that I feel compelled to come into this forum and tell you about it. Heck that happens every day with everything in my life but two things today really got under my skin so here we go.

The first item on my hit list is roller bags. These are either in briefcase or backpack form and have two to four wheels and a telescoping arm/handle. The people you see wheeling these things around are in reality too lazy or too infirmed to be allowed to carry anything, anytime, anywhere. It really grinds my gears (shout out to Family Guy fame) when I have to avoid them (as I did way too many times today) on the Metro.

This morning as all 400 of my closest friends tried to cram into one set of doors in a new land speed record, one woman in the middle of the pack had the aforementioned bag in her possession and was trying to roll it over people’s feet so that she could get a spot on the train (which was empty when it pulled into the station). I finally got so annoyed at waiting for her to find an opening that as she wheeled it on to the train; I grabbed at the back and lifted it onto the car for her. Similarly, when I exited to the train today there was another man with a similar bag (this time a backpack on wheels) who also felt he wasn’t quite in possession of the strength to lift his bag and we had to wait for him to gingerly roll it onto the escalator.

Listen up people, if you can’t carry your bag for a few moments as you go thru crowded doorways, up or down escalators, or other crowded thoroughfares then leave them at home. Take a small brown bag for your lunch and leave the computer at the office. What in G-d’s green earth are you hauling in there that could be so heavy? Even laptops from the early 1990’s only weigh in at ten pounds. Are you so week of bone that you can’t manage to carry that for the few feet that would save the rest of us from having our’s run over? The next time I see you I will lift up the bag, remove the wheels and then watch as you “slide” it around!!

The second item on my list is my Fantasy Football team. I am playing this season in a work league through ESPN.com and a recreational league through NFL.com. My NFL league is going fine and I just advanced into the championship game next week. However my ESPN league is not as well. I had a chance to participate in the playoffs as the #3 ranked team in the league (playing the #2 team). And this past week, which ended with last night’s MNF game, I lost my one measly, little point! Can you believe that? One POINT! If I swapped either of my two RBs on the bench for Rudi Johnson (who could only manage 10+ yards against the San Fran defense!!!!!) I could have won! I would have won and advanced into the championship in both leagues. I want to grab Mr. Johnson by the neck (yes I know he’d probably kick my ass but that’s not what’s important now) and ask him why he screwed me so bad.

Ok now back to your regularly scheduled programming. This reminds me that it’s been a while since you’ve had an update on my ever shrinking waistline. Well after an “OK” week I’m down a total of 15.2 pounds in just under 8 weeks. Yeah Me.

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