Is That a $1 Bill?

Yep, and it's fake. Well I really don't have a $1 bill in my hand but if I did, I would want a fake one. That is to say, plenty of people have tried to counterfeit $20 bills but how many have been ballsy enough to cheat the man by stuffing their cowhide full of phony washingtons?

Think about all those trips to the vending machine or 7-11 are all free. I wouldn't however recommend going to the top 5 star restaurant (or Cracker Barrel if that's more your thing) and try dropping these "greenbacks.” These are more of the hot dog guy on the corner or maybe Starbucks kind of thing.

For those of you who aren’t in the know, the US Mint recently released the new “enhanced” (security) Five Dollar Bill. This has all the same watermarks and high-tech stuff as the previous releases of the $100, $50, $20, and $10 bills which would indicate that there are criminals out there who are trying to counterfeit $5’s.

But wherever a crime of opportunity arises, I say, “Aim Lower!” and that’s exactly what I have in mind. Besides, the penalty for being convicted of counterfeiting $1 bills has to be at least 1/10 of that for counterfeiting $10 bills and 1/100 of that for $100 bills. At most I’m looking at a Paris Hilton-esque 10 minutes and 34 seconds in the Federal Pen.

Alas after a little research I’ve learned that my buddy Kim Jong Ill over in North Korea has been counterfeiting singles for quite some time. Alas, whenever an American comes up with a great idea, somebody in Asia has been doing it longer. Now if only I could figure out away to mint some pennies…