And maybe some Ace Bandages. The him is Oliver Perez. There, I’ve now solved the problems of both of Gothom’s professional baseball teams in one fell swoop.
Look the Yankees (boo…hiss…boo) need a fifth starter for their rotation as Sergio Mitre is not getting the job done. The Mets, well they stink. Oliver Perez is certainly not helping things. So I propose a trade.
Oliver Perez to the Yankees along with his salary that is roughly equal to a decade worth of GDP for North Korea and in exchange the Yanks send the Mets a bag of new baseballs, two dozen rolls of ace bandages and throw in some ice packs for good measure.
The way I see it is that the Yanks get the pitcher they think they need to make a run into the post season and the Mets get some much needed medical supplies to help patch up their team. Oh and if you didn’t hear yet, here are the injuries in the past 24 hours:
1) Second Baseman, Luis Castillo sprained his ankle walking down the steps of the dugout yesterday while trying to “avoid a glove” that somebody had left there.
2) Today’s starting pitcher, Jonathan Neise, strained/ripped/tweaked his hamstring trying to cover first base. He took one warm up pitch after and then collapsed in pain
3) Outfielder Gary Shefield reinjured his leg. Backstory here: he had just come of the DL for a leg injury. Sounds to me like somebody came back a little early.
The more I talk about this trade the more I like it. Yes, somebody get me Steinbrener on the phone…we’ve got some wheeling and dealing to do!