Tuesday, September 1, 2009

An Open Letter to the Postmaster General

Dear Postmaster General,

I know that you have been concerned about the precipitous drop in both the volume of letters and parcels your staff has been delivering and in the lack of funds your agency has been brining in. In this economy we are all concerned about lack of cash flow and profit.

The good news is I have a solution.

When I prepay and print my package postage at home let me drop it off at the front desk of my local post office and go about my business. The current protocol doesn’t work. Why should I even bother to do all the work on my own time when the lady behind the counter tells me I have to wait in the long line (20 deep at lunch today) of people who don’t have enough sense to make use of current technology. And then when I get up there says she needs to ask me if there is anything dangerous or illegal in my box.

Yes, I’m shipping a bomb, fireworks, child pornography, foreign produce, elephant tusks, and small pox vials. Gee...I’m glad you asked or I might have gotten away with it!

The geniuses who run the airlines actually figured this out before you did huh? Remember when they used to ask you if you’ve let anybody else hold your bag or you were taking a package on the plane because this nice guy named Osama with the long beard and turban asked you to take this ticking box with the wires on the flight to LA for him? I don’t remember them catching a whole lot of “evil-doers” with that method. How’s it working for the Post Office? Have you stopped a major global terroristic disaster or disrupted a major illegal fireworks operation recently? Didn’t think so.

Next time I’m going to Fed Ex or UPS where they actually appreciate it when you do your business on line.


The Management at Nobody Likes a Jerk.

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