Do You have a Netflix Account

If you do, keep your damn kids away from the DVDs. I can't begin to describe my frustration level when I sit down to enjoy the latest Hollywood release (that Mrs. Bloogerman has approved) and it freezes part way through because your little snot-nosed, demon spawn can't keep their grubby hands off of it.

I'm sure little Timmy is the perfect little kid in your eyes. Heck he's ahead of everybody in his second grade class; he can tie his shoes. But that doesn't mean that you should allow him to take the DVD I'm next up on the list for a smudge it up with his PB&J fingerprints or drag it across the driveway resulting in so many scratches, Liz Taylor's reflection could look good in the back.

Why should I have to get up out of a comfy bed and reset the DVD each time Inglorious Bastards comes to a screeching halt and what seems to be a dramatic turn in the action? We’re not talking about Shrek or Aladdin here. This is an adult movie with cursing, violence and possible interracial pornography (We haven’t gotten that far yet but I think we might get that last one as a payoff!). Why are you letting your kids anywhere near this smut (great movie!)?

But if it’s not your kids that means that you are the SOB who’s ruining my viewing habit, putting strain on my back, and waking up the dog every time I have to get out of bed to fix the movie. That’s not even counting on the lost productivity time from having to fast forward through chapters to find the exact moment we were on when it froze. I’ve had a long weekend and now you’ve gone and caused it to be even longer.

Forget about “Be Kind, Please Rewind” I hope a bear breaks into your car for a sandwich!