Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Dollar Store, At Least the App is Free

Sure it doesn't cost anything but why do you need it in the first place?  Seriously, it's the dollar store. You don't need a price check, you don't need a map of the store, and frankly if you have this thing called "Google" you don't need to know locations.

I wondered into a local Dollar Store today to search for a glass container. Simple task. Open the door, walk through the 8 or so aisles in the store and find the item or don't find it. It doesn't really matter. On my way out I saw a sticker on the door advertising their new "mobile app" allows you to preview items and even purchase right from your phone. Great idea in concept but if you've ever been to a dollar store you know damn well that they never have everything in stock and they sure has hell don't have it in the right place. If you are lucky enough to not have to step over thousands of items strewed in the aisles by the snot nosed kids that follow their mommies, you still can't find the item because it's a freakin' dollar store. They're not supposed to have great supplies.

But this got me thinking as to other stores and companies that have mobile apps that are completely useless:

Snickers:
Yes, this is a sports game (centered around the FIFA World Cup) but you can find thousands of soccer games for your device. This is nothing more then a hand held commercial for a candy bar. Do you need to kick a ball to know that you're in the mood for peanuts, chocolate, and nougette?

Bud Light
A few years back there was a commercial where a guy was using an app to pour beer from his phone into everybody's glass. What a party!! Except...1) the app already existed (iBeer) and 2) it doesn't really pour beer so it's as useless as that zippo-esque lighter that was popular when iPhones first hit the market.

TBS (and other Turner Properties)
They have an app that is so bad the only 5 star comments sound like their PR team and kids of their PR team are the only ones leaving them. Everything from real people ranges from 0-2 stars. The app only allows you to see 7 second clips from your "favorite shows". So not only can you see an entire joke, but you have to sit through a commercial for TBS in between each one. Oh but it's really useful when you need a schedule of what's on TBS on Thursday night. Oh wait, I can do that through my satellite, cable provider, or just TV guide and I get the extra benefit of ALL the stations.

Here's the bottom line if you are company or commercial interest and want to launch a mobile app. Ask me. I'll tell you the truth.

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