Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Is Your Beef Jerky Smarter Then a 5th Grader?

For a long time I've been against a person/celebrity who's made their name in one field or industry, pimping a product that has no relation, especially when there is an already crowded market. For example, Joseph Aboud is a men's fashion designer of some acclaim, who has branched out into bed sheets and dishes. I CANT`T STAND THIS STUFF! And furthermore I won't put up with it!

So what do you think my reaction was the other day when walking through the supermarket I saw a bag of (and this is the straight truth) a bag of Jeff Foxworthy brand beef jerky? Besides holding my vomit back or needing a clean up in isle 6 based solely on the site of his mullet on a bag of salted beef product, I was appalled that someone would actually consider buying this stuff.

Paul Newman is a name that you might say fits in with this crowd but he does not count in this discussion for two reasons. 1) Newman's products are really good and he donates profits to charity. 2) Newman is an Oscar winner, Foxworthy created a punchline that keeps the entire population of Arkansas smiling (34 collective teeth...even less if they tried to take a bite of this crap.)

And to top off any crappy product, you MUST have an equally distasteful PR campaign. Here is a snippet from the press release announcing the product last year (how has this remained on the market for more then a year....ugh!!!):
Jeff Foxworthy is the ideal celebrity brand to market Monogram's jerky products because he has universal appeal and his image is closely associated with the consumer's expectations of the product. Test marketing already shows that Jeff Foxworthy Jerky products are a hit!
Perhaps we should ask the "5th Graders" if they buy this stuff.

This diatribe got me thinking, what other no talent hacks are out there who could slap their faces on an equally tasteless product and take it to market? Wouldn't you know it, I came up with a few:

Larry the Cable Guy adult diapers: for the load of crap that he deposits at his movies

Mike Vick Korean BBQ Family Restaurant: real dog in every bite

Ugh I really need a hobby

1 comment:

Elliot said...

Vick comment was completely almost tasteless. And I'm now not quite addicted to wasting time reading your thoughts. And I'm inspired to maybe start my own mindless rambling blog.