Yes...you too can loose weight by using the newest exercise craze spreading across the nation. We have people in all 50 states (and some non-voting territories) using our exercise program with proven results. You’ve seen them on TV working their legs and cores and hands all night long, and now you can join them.
Well sort of. I mean you’re not going to get yourself elected to Congress anytime soon. Heck you probably don’t even vote regularly...but that won’t stop you now that you can get your hands on the Congress’ own: Presidential Speech Workout Plan.
Yes that’s right you can feel like you’re right their in the chambers standing up every 5 lines of speech and clapping like you’re trying to kill a horde of mosquitoes. And just when you sit down and your hands start to get feeling back in them, you’re up on your feet again in this aggressive sweat fest.
Still not dropping those pounds that you’d like? Well step up to the advanced level training where you’ll done a winter grade wool suit (or pant suit for the women) and you’ll be blinded by all the sweat dripping off your cranium. Are you handicapped or otherwise chained to a chair/bench/or other seating vessel? Well just start clapping as hard as you can every 10 seconds and occasionally hoot and holler to burn, burn, burn those calories.
BTW: Does anybody else think we could save some time and some eye strain if we substituted Speaker Pelosi for an “applause” sign like on TV?
Now the following rant come courtesy of my FinL and I take no responsibility for it’s content, validity, truthfulness, or any other legal-type words. Enjoy:
After Obama's speech last night you get the feeling that he going to require banks to extend credit to small business to get things rolling again. It just seems to me that "BANKS JUST DON'T GET IT", I always thought that that bonuses were for a job well done, not for executives who run their companies into the ground. Think about this, here in America if a CEO screws up he or she is given him a golden parachute, in China they stand them in front of a wall and shoot them. Then they send the family a bill for the bullet.
While I don't advocate that method we have to have some reform in this country that rewards achievement, not failure. These Banks for the most part helped get us into this mess and now feel it's not their responsibility to help get us back on track. They take our bail out money and refuse to tell us how they are spending it, then there are some banks that claim they didn't need the money but took it any way. They spend our money on lavish retreats at high end resorts and then look at us us as if we are stupid when we question their acts.
To add to this we have a congress that passes a stimulus package that most of them didn't read. That didn't stop the Republicans from declaring it a failure even before it has a chance to maybe work. Think about this, they hopping it won't work so they can say "I told you so!". Isn't this the same as hopping that American will fail just to prove they are right. But it's just not the Republicans, Nancy and her gang are also to blame. They filled this bill with so much pork that even a gentile might consider keeping kosher. I just know that saving that rat in Nancy's district will but American back on track. Well guess what
"THE POLITICIANS DON’T GET IT EITHER!"
If we are to recover Obama might be right we have to get credit rolling again and put people back to work. So instead of fighting over who's plan won't work, lets fight to make it all work so we can get back on an even keel.