Friday, April 3, 2009

Blue Button Pusher

Stop right there you lazy SOB. What in G-ds green earth are you doing? That isn't for you, its for somebody who actually needs it. However knowing the karma train the way I do, chances are you'll be struck by a debilitating disease that will necessitate you buying one shoe longer then the other because of your newly developed club foot.

I know I'm "not being fair" if I don't tell you what's brought on this latest rampage/tirade/diatribe. While walking down the street today I saw a perfectly healthy, mobile woman use those blue, automatic door open buttons that are found on may public buildings these days. They're there, quite obviously to assist those among us who are infirmed, handicapped, or riding into the building on a shopping cart.

They are not there for your fat lazy ass to waddle through each morning with your sausage mc muffin and large mocha grande frappachino with whipped cream. You have two working hands and arms, surely you can figure out a way to extend on of those arms and open the hand on said arm followed closely by closing that hand around the door handle and recoiling your arm in a motion that allows the door to open. And because I don't feel comfortable in your level of common sense, make sure to use your legs to move around the door so you don't hit yourself in the face.

This has been a public service announcement.

2 comments:

akmitc said...

Now, wait a minute. Sometimes - by virtue of having those blue buttons, the door weighs a ton. And so, the most efficient way to open it is by using the blue button. I'm just saying, it may not be laziness, but a desire not to develop a hernia by opening the door.

Stefanie said...

D- the previous commenter has an excellent point. The grocery store by my apt has a blue button and the door weighs a ton! I use the blue button and am not ashamed to say it!