Stop stealing my intellectual property. I’m sick of this. Every time I come up with a great new idea, somebody swoops in and steals it.
Today, it’s the Red Chinese Hoard and the restaurant management team of Joe Englert, Ricardo Vergara, Blair Zervos.
We’ll start with one Chinese man’s quest to get the hell out of traffic. Lian Jiansheng was sick of waiting for Chen Fuchao to make up his mind and jump to his death from a bridge in Quangzhou province. Instead of letting Fuchao be talked down from the ledge by police, Jiansheng just pushed him over the ledge. According to the Reuters story, Jiansheng, who is a retired soldier said, "I pushed him off because jumpers like Chen are very selfish. Their action violates a lot of public interests,"
How great is that?? While I’m upset that Jiansheng stole my idea (for years I’ve been saying that should just push, shoot, or otherwise just end jumper standoffs quicker so that traffic can be opened back up) I am happy somebody finally took this into their own hands. Jumpers (and others trying to commit suicide in public places) are selfish and just want attention. If they are serious about ending their lives then let the police (or public) give a helping hand so to say. In DC a few years back a jumper threatened to take the plunge of the Wilson Bridge at the southern end of the Capitol Beltway (I-495). The resulting police action snarled traffic for hours on end (and roughly 20 miles in each direction) while they tried to talk him down. The standoff ended with police shooting the guy in the leg. But that was only after a seven-hour negotiation session. What the hell?!?! Just shoot him in the leg after the first 30 min and get it over with. There are plenty of crimes and other public nuisances that the police, fire, and rescue personnel need to deal with. Stop being so selfish!
The second group to grab my ire this fine May day are a trio of restaurateurs here in DC who have just opened the “H Street Country Club”. The idea behind the new restaurant and bar is to combine fun games with food and drink...yada yada yada. Get the crowd in, liquor them up, and then take their money. The only difference is that these dw’s stole my long standing idea for “Bottom of the Cup”, an all in one bar and mini golf establishment that was sketched out in bar napkin form sometime between 1999 and 2002 at many a night at Jay’s Saloon in Arlington. Obviously these guys overheard my conversation one night or found a discarded napkin and have swooped in to steal my idea. Well to them I say NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE. And don’t try to buy me off with a coupon for 20% off an entrée at dinner. I will not rest until my idea is returned or at least until I’m given a free drink, dessert, and round of min-golf. And so help you if you give me any grief about cheating at Skee-Ball. That’s just how I roll!
Special thanks to Jason and Anne for supplying the material for today’s stories. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you....start submitting me stuff if you want to keep reading this fine take on everyday life.