Idea for a Bumper Sticker and More Crap We Don’t Need

If you’ve read this space you all know my seething hatred for most things bumper sticker. However passing a ve-hic-le today parked in front of my office I had a moment of clarity and brilliance:

My Other Kid is an Honor Student at [Fill in the Blank] Elementary School

OR

My Other Kid is Smarter Then This One.

(you can put this one on your kids first car as they pull up to the High School for the first time)

Also today: More Crap We Don’t Need: The underwater pogo stick. Evidently, because the sale of ground based pogo sticks has really taken off since they were introduced back in the 30’s and made regular rounds on 50’s TV shows. it only seems natural that the best way to improve a crappy product is make a version for the pool.

The douchewaffles at HAMMACHER SCHLEMMER have decided that simply cooling off in the pool and splashing your little sister until she cries is not enough fun. Nope...you have to “perform a variety of waterborne stunts” as well. Now I may be a bit old fashioned here but when I was a kid that phrase included cannonballs, back flips, and finding that really “comfortable” spot near the water jet. Pogosticking was not on that list. Go figure, the product is made in Canada!