Subtle Differences in the Morning and The Best Auction Ever

Scene: 740am.Your Hero (that’s me) is walking down a long hallway to his office door. Before he reaches his door, he passes a female associate from a different office who he swears he’s never seen before. To be polite he exchanges morning pleasantries with her.

Hero: Good Morning

Woman: Hi, How are you?

Stop the record right there!!! “How are you?” are you kidding me!!!

First off, I don’t know you, nor do I really, deep down care how you are doing (short of you need medical assistance). Secondly, you don’t know me and I can’t imagine that you really care either. Thirdly, your words require a response back by me, which means more work on my part just to say, “Well thank you”. And fourthly, because I had to respond back it almost requires me to add yet another line of verbiage that sounds like, “and how are YOU doing today?”

This doesn’t fly in my book. I was only saved from the fourth point today because you had passed me by at this point and I was at my door. The next time just say “Good Morning” back to me and let’s be done with the greeting. It’s early, I haven’t had my coffee yet and (to reiterate, I don’t care how you are doing).

On a lighter note, I want to draw your attention to the best auction item ever listed on E-bay. This is way better then Barry Bond’s steroid needle or that town in California from a few years ago. Dear Readers. I present to you, the most famous phone number in the entire world (actually 2nd most famous, because Thomas Edison’s original phone number -1- is probably more famous):
867-5309 (area code 267)

The Philadelphia area number is up for auction on E-bay (listing here) for the next 6 days and was already up over $2000 when I checked last. It turns out that a guy there had it put on a Vonage modem, so if you are the winning bidder you can plug it in wherever you are in the world and have guys looking for Jenny. And let me tell you this is quite a value. Back in February, CNN reported that a similar auction for the number (212 area code) went for well over $300,000.

This reminds me, does anybody what to buy my phone number? 1-900-Mix-A-Lot (and kick those nasty thoughts!)